It’s Friday, 2010, and I just woke up with a headache, which is funny, because this is the second day in a row I’ve woken up with a headache and in general felt weak.
Maybe it’s the WiFi we use. Who knows with these things, right?
Headaches don’t bother me at all. I used to worry about them, but now I allow them to be there and after a while they fade away.
If I want to get rid of a headache I use Emotional Freedom Techniques and it works like a charm, at least for me, and I know many people have used EFT to get rid of their migraine headaches.
The Consulting Conundrum
As the day went on, I had a call with a consulting client, which at first I had apprehensions of, because I never like to have appointments or set times for anything.
But then I refocused on how I could help, instead of the bother it was for me. I love coaching, and working with the right people.
I know I’m working with the right kind of person because at the end of the call I feel energized and alive. With the wrong person, I feel exhausted.
It’s just a fact that some people fit better with me than others.
And it takes time to find the right people.
(Update 2015: I wrote this post in 2010, and it’s now five years later. I can now see the path I needed to take to see what kind of person I like to work with. Most coaches give up, because they think they aren’t good enough. They try to help everyone, and fix people, which I tried to do. But today, I’ve found my style, and my people. I love it.)
I Never Relax, But…
After I finished my coaching call, I felt excellent and the client was so happy he was going to get in touch with me for another call.
I’ve found that when I go in with an open mind and open heart, things tend to work out well, especially when I focus on delivering value.
It’s also about me being myself, because I can’t be someone else. I have to embrace my strengths. I seem to have this ability to center people within themselves, and to help them find their inner GPS.
After my call I was feeling pretty good about myself, so I gave myself some time off to relax, at which point tuned into some of the interviews that Jonathan Fields conducts.
Is THIS the Secret to Happiness?
After the interview was done, my mind had calmed down, and I could feel the wheels turning. It has been raining non-stop here in Southern Spain for the last few days, but it had stopped, so Ingela and I decided to take the dog for its evening walk.
That’s when Ingela said to me that sometimes she feels like everything’s kind of boring. And this is where it gets cool, because sometimes we go on walks, but they’re really talks, because we share what’s going on in our heads and then the other one says whatever comes to mind.
So it got me thinking about the fact that here she was, she had quit her job, left icy cold Sweden to basically live the dream life in Spain, but she was still unhappy. Or at least bored.
I’m not saying she’s always unhappy, because she’s 95% super happy, but in this case she had one of those down days that we all have from time to time.
After we’d strolled through the wet, narrow, streets, we finally came back to the uphill stretch to our 8-story apartment building, and that’s when I remembered the people that are really the happiest.
The people that love what they do and seem happy no matter what, those people are always focusing on what they are grateful for and what’s good in their life.
If their business failed, they appreciate the fact that they are free to start a new one, they have their health and they have loving people all around them.
They’re also aware of the fact that it’s not life that makes them happy, but their thinking. You see, we never experience life directly. We feel our thinking.
What if happiness is really about focusing on the good stuff? You could have millions of dollars in the bank but still be completely miserable if you’re focusing on the fact that you don’t have a billion.
(Update 2015: I still remember this walk, and the uphill walk to our apartment in Spain. Right now, we’re back in the icy North, but it’s great. I’m a father, and we have another baby on the way.
It’s interesting to see how far I’ve come, because today I see that it’s not about controlling my thoughts, but letting them be. I have good days, and I have bad days. Both are fine.)