Meet Hank.
Age 31.
Normal life. Good, secure job. Just got a raise.
At the age of 7, he knew he wasn’t like everyone else. He was never built for the corporate world, but that’s where he ended up.
His passions were like ghosts. Every time he thought he had it figured out, his hand passed right through.
Now, he was successful on the outside, but dead on the inside. His inner wisdom kept nudging him to explore the world, but he resisted.
His resistance led him to a love-affair with food. He gained 20 pounds. He grew more and more empty. Days of depression turned into months. Insomnia raged during the night, sucking the life out of him like a cosmic vacuum cleaner.
One day, while staring at the ceiling, he had the urge to organize his closet. Organizing things calmed him, and sometimes helped him sleep.
While digging around in the closet, he found an old, dusty notebook. It was filled with his stories, essays, thoughts, and dreams.
He was reminded of a time in his childhood, where he enjoyed writing silly stories about talking animals.
But writing often felt like waging war against himself. He grew to hate his prose. He compared himself to the Hemingway’s of the world, and eventually lost momentum. He simply didn’t think he was good enough.
Getting a job seemed easier, so that’s what he did. He threw the notebook in the closet and forgot all about it, until now.
Now he felt as if an unseen force had turned his body into a magnet, and he was being pulled to write again.
That night, he wrote for two hours straight. He poured his thoughts on paper. He explored his fears, and he wrote about his dreams.
He wrote down one sentence that he couldn’t get out of his mind. It was as if he didn’t write it. It held immense power, like an nuclear bomb opening up his mind.
The sentence was, “You don’t have to find a passion, you just have to follow the breadcrumbs. To calm down and listen.”
Weeks passed.
He kept working.
He kept writing.
Color seeped back into his black-and-white existence.
He didn’t know what he was passionate about. All he knew was that he liked writing in his notebook. So he wrote, and he began to trust life.
After three months, he felt the magnet inside him intensify. He felt an urge to start a blog and share his thoughts.
He wrote about everything. But he doubted himself.
Not good enough. Not expert enough. Not clear enough.
He explored these fears in his notebook. Time and time again, the wisdom inside of him echoed, “You just have to follow the breadcrumbs.”
And that’s what he did. He wrote about everything. To hell with his fears, and reality, and practicality.
He did what made him come alive. He couldn’t control the future, and he didn’t try to. He just took life one day at a time, one step at a time.
He was beginning to realize that life wasn’t about figuring it out, but about following the breadcrumbs, and enjoying yourself. When he did this, his connection to his wisdom was stronger because his mind was calmer.
Slowly but surely, he began seeing through his patterns of worry and fear.
He focused on what he loved to do. He wrote when he returned from work. He blogged when the urge struck.
As the months turned to years, Hank wrote, and the more he wrote, the more doors opened for him.
It was never about finding his passion. It was about exploring and having fun. The more he took action, the more the Universe moved with him.
And after awhile, he noticed that he was enjoying his job more, because his perspective had shifted. He was thinking about it differently.
He was spending more time in the present moment.
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Nice story, Henri. Similar to my life.
It’s hard to struggle every day with my fears and my self sabotage, but it’s a permanent work, learning to enjoy all the moments and follow the breadcrumbs, that’s it.
Yes sir. Do your best. That is enough. Each day you uncover more.
Your words moved me to tears – I’m in the process of breaking out of that ghost-like life, just starting to follow the trail, one little crumb at a time. Knowing that others understand how difficult it can be is encouraging (even if the difficulty is of our own making). Thank you for sharing this.
Absolutely. Even though I know it is of my own making, sometimes it’s tough. And there’s nothing wrong with it being difficult. We keep doing what we can with what we have.
Thanks for the comment!
Hm…Interesting story. At first I thought it was a true story (I’m still not sure), but the title labels it as “fable,” so that leads me to believe it’s not a real account of a real person. Still not sure.
I have to admit, I kept reading and waiting for something to “happen.” When I got to the end, it didn’t seem like the end. I wanted to read that Hank found success either through his writing, or through some other passion that he discovered. I wanted to read that he was finally able to quit his corporate job that wasn’t him. But as it ends, it seems that he still worked in his corporate job, and just wrote in his notebook and on his blog in the evenings and in his free time.
Anyway… I’m not sure how I feel about this story, to be honest.
But to share my own story, I could relate to Hank. I’ve never really felt that I “fit into” the traditional world. People told me, as I got into college and beyond, that I just “had to” find a stable job. I never bought into it. While I am working a traditional “day job” right now, I know it’s only temporary. I also know it’s “not me.” Some people seem to be able to just go to a job every day… whether they actually find fulfillment in doing that or not, I don’t know. But I don’t. I feel like I’m doing someone else’s work. I’m just working here, fulfilling a role, doing a job. It’s not ME. MY dream is to make a living through writing – be it my fiction novels I’ve already published, or non-fiction (I’m currently working on).
I guess the moral of this story is to not worry about the “big picture” and just take it one day at a time. Do what brings you joy and peace each day, to the extent that you’re able. I’ve only been in my current job a little over 3 months, but I’m already eager for the day when I can announce that I will no longer be working here. It’s not that the job is bad (it’s a great job actually), it’s that I don’t feel that I’m fulfilling my purpose in being here. It’s a means to an ends right now – making money – until I start making enough money through my book sales, or other ways.
Anyway… that’s what I got out of this story. Sorry for such a long response. 🙂
Hey Sarah!
Great comment. Thanks for taking the time to write it.
You’re right on. I didn’t intend this to be the whole story, but just the beginning. So many people believe that things will change dramatically right away, but it seldom does. The problem isn’t that it doesn’t change, but that we think it should. We have expectations (thoughts), and when the world doesn’t do what we expect, we feel bad, anxious, afraid, and so on.
Even working at a day job can be more enjoyable if we stay in the present moment. It’s not the outside world that determines how we feel, but our thinking. We always feel our thinking.
Now, this doesn’t mean we don’t feel pulled to other things. We often do. But one step at a time does it.
Hope that makes sense 🙂
Ah…..Henri…..you are an able writer. I like the part where the character ‘filled himself with food’, and became more and more empty.
I, personally, was not waiting for the character to succeed, because who knows if someone will succeed financially or artistically in the world of words, huh? No guarantees, only probabilities. A person ups the ante with determination and force. Doors will open only with perseverance and creating a product people will pay for. (You taught me that!) Who knows if Hank created literature or a product that his audience really wanted!
As a writer, Henri, you are a deep and careful thinker and this resonates in your prose. Thanks……
Thank you, Anne!
And well put. Who knows, Hank may return to Wake Up Cloud. We shall see if more of his story wants to come through my fingers.
Hi Sarah,
From the perspective of someone who’s about to turn 58, I can fully endorse the idea of “following the bread-crumbs”. Some people do find THE passion-in-life for them (I never did – {yet!}), others have to follow the trail of bread-crumbs – and you know what? It doesn’t matter which. My trail-of-bread-crumbs has turned out to be an interesting and non-conventional life, but above all I have found that the bounteousness of the universe is often way beyond what we could imagine if we tried to “plan” it all. Best of luck.
I believe I came across your post for a reason. For weeks now I haven’t been checking my inbox because there are far more important things to do, like client work. I’ve been too focused on work, which is normal, since I need to pay the bills. But what I realized was I was gradually losing my drive. I started freelance writing because I have so much to say through writing. Now, I write because I need to earn, not to share or find an outlet for my thoughts. And it sucks. Maybe that’s why I struggle with writing copy for clients’ blogs. I’ve run out of fuel.
Thank you for Hank’s story, Henri. It showed me that I forgot to write out of passion. It told me to let go of the need to control. It’s hard to have the same level of passion I had when I was starting out because my mind has been contaminated by the responsibilities of being an adult. I hope I can find that same burning desire as a writer.
Thanks Wowie!
I find a big part of my journey is noticing when I start going off-track. With time, I’ve begun noticing it sooner and sooner.
I’m sure you’ll find it as you keep going. And sometimes it may not be what you think. It may be a gentle nudge instead of a burning desire. For me it ebbs and flows. But what remains is the urge to express what’s in my heart.
Hi, Henri,
Thanks so much. I find what you have to say important for myself and important enough to send to someone else who could benefit from your ideas.
I support your idea of “following the bread crumbs”. In the world of the “quick fix”, it’s important to keep this in mind.
I have not been focusing enough on my first e-book. I am not progressing swiftly; but like the tortoise, I am plodding through.
Your ideas and presentations always lead me to read another of your blogs. I have decided to keep a journal of my daily writing progress. I feel that I am causing my slowness. I am turning a new leaf and putting writing first every day.
I have read a fair amount about how writers discipline themselves to “keep on keepin’ on”. Most everyone seems to have reserved a particular segment of their day for writing. Up to now, I have not done this on a regular basis. I’ll let you know how I have done after a month of daily ‘prime time’ for my writing.
My first specific action that is generated by reading your work today, and watching one of your videos, is to re-activate a website for which, I had high hopes. Your idea of “Just start. Pick up the bread crumbs.” inspires me.
I read Viktor Frankl and Elisha Goldstein on a regular basis. What they both emphasize is that whatever we do, we always have a “choice point”. We can choose to pick up the bread crumbs or not.
Thank you. I wish you and your family a good day, and a bouquet of meaningful choices.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Cornelia.
And you’re right, we have the choice. As for writing, I find that for myself, I go between a daily schedule, and letting it flow freely.
That may not work for you, but that’s why each one of us has to forge their own path. To discover what works for us, and what doesn’t. And sometimes that changes from day to day.
Funny how it works 🙂
Cornelia – please come back and tell us what your website is so we can come for a visit and cheer you on – we’re all on this journey together, even if our paths are slightly different. Best wishes to you as you reboot your writing.
Easily my favorite read of the day – you’ve put this together extremely well, simply excellent. Chills passed through me as I remembered myself in Hank – this is no fable. Blessings to you, bravo.
Thanks!
Very cool. I’d like to know what happens to Hank so I hope he returns, to say the least.
Who knew that all along it was just about exploring and having fun rather than staying stuck trying to find what he wanted to do.
Just do what you want. Go for it. See what happens. Enjoy yourself. Things will come about.
Bring Hank back, Henri … if you would. He’s pretty cool.
Right you are, Eric. We shalt see about Hank 😉
The story reminds me of what I read in Chris Guillebeau’s ezine today. He wrote about traveling, and his goal was to travel to every nation in the world. He accomplished his goal, writing all the way. Blogs turned into books into courses, into huge conventions, and he’s in his early 30’s! Sometimes you need to write to find out what’s inside!
Absolutely!
Hi Henri, Great post! A couple of months ago I fired my job and went overseas. When I came back the expectation was that I would find another job in the corporate world, just to make money. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Pushing through the fear barrier, I had a major breakthrough. I made a decision to only add back into my life the things I KNOW I am definitely designed to do and to enjoy every moment. Have been journaling, blogging writing, and have enrolled in a course of study in ministry. These things are filling my heart with joy. It’s so exciting to follow your passions and do what you love. A bonus is you also become a more interesting person! Will I fail, will I succeed? Only God knows? I’m going to take a chance on doing what I love.
Nice. And even if you fail, it’s not real failure, because you’ll keep going. And sometimes you learn the most by what seems like a setback. Keep rocking!
An encouraging story, but I think it overlooks one thing: if a person is unhappy with his life to the point of depression, following the bread crumbs will only be a temporary fix until he decides to make desperate changes in his life, like leaving his job. That, of course, won’t necessarily give him the answer he’s looking for, but it will allow him to look at his life from a different perspective. Maybe the bread crumbs can finally lead to this decision, but until then he could fall right back into depression, or just feeling unhappy and unmotivated, which could potentially, at least temporarily, stop him from following the bread crumbs.
The part where it says “To hell with his fears, and reality, and practicality.” At this point, I thought, oh yeah, right! Let’s see what he’s going to do now, only to read further on that actually he didn’t throw caution to the wind because he’s still working, presumably at a job that doesn’t fulfil him. It then goes on to say that “He focused on what he loved to do. He wrote when he returned from work. He blogged when the urge struck.” I don’t know about you, but when I got home from work, I never had the energy to write. As much as I wanted to I just couldn’t put my mind to it. And I wasn’t even working at a corporate job. I’m thinking that’s more demanding of one’s time and energy. So where is Hank finding the time and energy to write and blog while working at a corporate job? The weekends? Perhaps. But he’s feeling empty inside and to wait until the end of the working week, every week, to do what makes him happy can be depressing, especially if it goes on like that for years. I know. I’m prone to depression, and dealing with it isn’t as simple as saying This is what I’m going to do. But then this story isn’t really about depression. It’s about filling your life with things you enjoy doing, things that may one day lead to something better, something more fulfilling, that will enable you to make the changes you want. And that’s great. But not realistic in Hank’s case. My advice to Hank would be to ditch the job and quite possibly the life he’s leading outside of it. Easier said than done. It took me 14 years. But as long as he’s not suicidal, and assuming he can find the confidence and the means, my guess is, he’ll do it one day, and he’ll explore the world, just as he has always wanted to. I’m still waiting for that bit to happen. I haven’t quite found the confidence yet. I may never find it. I might just have to do it out of desperation because the alternative isn’t appealing any more, if ever it was to begin with.
That’s definitely one way to look at it. Thanks for sharing your viewpoint, Joseph.
Hi, Joseph Emmanuel, You have a powerful name. If you think about your name and its history, you have cause for joy.
Many of us have had ‘near death’ or ‘back from the death moments’ – it changes a person – hopefully. On March 23, 2013. i died for a few seconds, EMT’s saved my life. Since then, I look at life differently. I am happy to see the sunrise. I practice living in the moment. I am merely student at the practice of mindfulness – I am not always serene, but I am grateful to be alive.
Personally, I don’t think a particular job, or a certain amount of money, or a particular love interest guarantees happiness to anyone. I think being aware of bread crumbs can be a positive experience. What if a traveler on the road of life ate the bread crumbs, stomped on the bread crumbs and therefore could not follow a specific path? He/she has the choices to lament the absence of bread crumbs, to break ground for a new path, to realize that life is a better alternative, even though it is sometime harsh.
Whether a person believes in scripture or not, fables can be helpful. Lots of songs about Joseph and his Coat of Many Colors and about Emmanuel on You Tube, I’m going to take some time out to listen to some of those tunes. Your powerful name reminded me of them. Thanks.
Hi Cornelia, thanks for the compliment. I can’t deny that I am aware of the significance of my name, although I never thought of it as being powerful.
I’m not discrediting the whole “follow your bread crumbs” scenario. I think we all do it, we all acknowledge our intuition, to a point, and follow up on it; not all the time, but some of the time. I think the message of the story is very clear. My comment actually detracts from that because I tend to over-analyse. Bad habit, but I wanted to comment because I related to it. I understood the message. And I think that’s all Henri is asking.
Good luck with your writing, and with allocating time to it. I think it’s good discipline. I write as often as I can throughout the day, and so don’t feel the need to do that right now. But I may do in the future.
I actually love the breadcrumbs. Day by day is the lesson I am learning. As one who has spent most of her life in the future, it is so tender and sweet to learn to be present. This weekend I found peace and it is still with me because I connected after decades of writing to what matters to me. Even if a person is not a writer, writing can be a powerful tool to let your dreams surface, help you sort it through. Thanks Henri!
Great point, Andrea!
Great post Mr.Henry, you should write stories,you got what it takes.As i was reading i was pulled in to the story and just like any good story the imagination takes over and you are suddenly transported into the world of the story. Actually i wished the story was longer .
Thanks