Getting through fear is a skill that anyone can learn.
The problem is that most people cling to their fears, because they believe it’s a part of who they are.
If you aren’t ready to face your fears, you probably won’t transcend them.
And there’s nothing wrong in that. Everything happens in its own time.
If you’re reading this article though, I’m pretty sure that you’re ready to take another step forward.
You searched for this information, or you bumped into it, which isn’t just a coincidence.
Let’s have a look at some of my favorite ways of dealing with fear.
How to Start Overcoming Fear, Right Now
1. Awareness. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to be aware that your fears are causing havoc in your life. It’s easy to get so attached to your thoughts and feelings that you think they are all that exist, which couldn’t be further from the truth. You are not your fears. You are the awareness that experiences it.
2. Identify. Get specific about what exactly you’re afraid of. Pay attention to the pictures you have in your head about the situation. What is happening in them? What are you really scared of? Become an observer of your inner space.
3. Curiosity. While curiosity may have killed the cat, it certainly won’t do you any harm when investigating your fears. Get curious about what thoughts generate your fear. Where do you feel the fear? How do you react to it? What color does it have? Become an observer of what is going on.
4. The Now. What are you lacking right now? When you center yourself in the now, you realize that everything is how it is. You naturally accept what is. Tapping into the now can be as simple as feeling your body and breath. My favorite book on the subject is Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (amazon affiliate link. I get a small share of any purchase you make at no extra cost to you). Here’s a video I made on living in the now:
5. EFT. EFT is short for Emotional Freedom Techniques. It is also sometimes referred to as tapping. You use your fingertips to tap meridian points on your body while thinking of a fear you have and it can alleviate and sometimes get rid of the fear altogether.
6. Sedona Method. Another simple system to conquer fear is the Sedona method. It consists of asking a few simple questions while focusing on your fear. It’s so simple that I dismissed it several times before taking it seriously.
7. The Work. The Work is similar to the Sedona method in that it asks questions. The Work is an excellent way to deal with fears, anxieties, and worries. There are many methods available, so pick the one that you resonate with the most.
8. Feel. Bring up the fear. Notice the sensations in your body. Let go of the label fear, and just feel the sensations. Notice their aliveness. They may vibrate, pulsate or shimmer. Let yourself feel them fully. Welcome everything. Include any resistance you have, and just rest in the sensations. This is extremely powerful, because you realize that you don’t have to be afraid of feeling fear.
9. Gratitude. When you feel fear, ask the fear what it is trying to protective you from. What is the message it brings? Now bring in gratitude for the fear, because it’s trying to help you, and do the best that it can. You can also ask if this fear is still needed. If not, say thank you, and feel it out.
10. Journaling. Getting your fears down on paper is important, because trying to think them through doesn’t work. You get caught up in endless loops of negativity that only lead you further down the rabbit hole, and make your life miserable. So write without stopping and without censoring yourself. You may be surprised at what you find.
11. Talk. No-brainer advice, but how often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how others might react, or because of some other reason? Talking helps, but avoid drowning in self-pity, and choose the right person to talk to. If you have no one to talk to, try journaling (see #10 above), or find a therapist (see #12 below).
12. Therapy. If you can find a good therapist, therapy can be highly beneficial, even life-changing. Finding the right therapist for you can be hard. Listen to your heart and choose someone who resonates with you.
13. Challenge. If you’re feeling frisky, why not challenge your fears? If you want to start writing a book, for example, but you’re afraid, start anyway. Start writing the first sentence without knowing what the book will even be about. The more you do this, the more fears lose their grip on you.
14. Life Coach. Do you have a fear of success, or a fear of failure? A good coach can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from. I’ve spoken to a few in my life and while it can be uncomfortable, it’s very helpful in getting clear about what you want and what’s stopping you.
15. Read. Reading a good book on your specific fear can open new doors on how you can overcome it. Books usually have case studies and examples that can inspire new ways of moving forward. Listen to your intuition and notice what books grab your attention.
16. Meditate. Try some breath meditation. Close your eyes. Focus on your breath going in and out. To help your mind stay focused, count each in breath until you reach 10, then start over. Meditation has been proven to change the brain in just a few weeks, so give it a go.
17. Watch. Watching a movie or a documentary can be as enlightening as reading a book. Sometimes it’s nice to distract yourself from your fear. And if you really want to, you can find dozens of movies on the fear you’re dealing with.
18. Diet. Did you know that the food you eat can have a dramatic impact on how you feel? All the processed sugars, additives, sweeteners, and other chemicals in our foods have a surprisingly powerful effect in getting our body out of balance. Stick to a clean diet that suits you. Meaning, more fruits, vegetables and whole (real) foods. Just eat a bit more each day. See what happens. You may find yourself having more energy and courage.
19. Positivity. Whenever fear strikes, flip it over. Instead of thinking of something bad that can happen, think of something positive. What’s a positive outcome to your fear? If you’re thinking about public speaking, imagine yourself being successful instead of failing horribly.
20. Perspective. Learning to deal with fear is all about putting your negative thoughts in perspective. We tend to focus on the negative, so by looking at all the options, you often realize that you’re making a big deal out of nothing. There are so many things that could happen that it’s impossible for your mind to predict the future. We aren’t psychics.
21. Surrender. Surrendering to what is is powerful, because as long as we try to change what is, we are in war with reality. Sure, our mind may tell us that we can’t surrender. We may be afraid, but what I’ve found is that when I surrender, I find peace. I’m not giving up on life. I’m simply stopping the incessant thinking and trying to control that which cannot be controlled. There’s a subtle difference. You can still change your life, but it comes from a different place.
Here’s a video of mine on this topic:
22. Your Story. We all tell ourselves a story about our fear. If I’m afraid that no one will like my writing, I tell myself a story (in my head) about how I’ll fail horribly, people will laugh at me, or even worse, no one will read what I have to say. What’s your story?
23. Release Control. We want to learn how to control fear. We want predictability, even though it’s impossible to get. Where we don’t have control, we experience fear. But is it possible to ever have control? A professional guitar player can still make mistakes and ruin a gig. Give up the illusion of control, and you’re free to focus on what matters. Sometimes nothing seems to be happening in life, but we can’t see everything that’s going on. There are times when we have to release control and trust life. We do what we can with what we have, but then we relax.
24. Help. Be kind to others. If you’re shy, focus on helping people instead of being self-conscious about how you look or sound when you talk. Flip it to other people and see how you can be of service.
25. Convenience. What is the benefit of the fear? For example, if you want to go to an acting class, but you’re afraid, so you stop yourself, the benefit is to not put yourself out there. You’re not vulnerable, which feels dangerous because of what happened in the past. The question then becomes: Do you want to live life more than you want the benefit of the fear?
26. Model. I’m not talking about modeling clothes here. I’m talking about finding someone who had the fear you have, but managed to transcend it. Get in touch with them, ask them how they did it, and see if it works for you.
27. Pray. Consider praying for guidance on how to start overcoming your specific fear. Prayer is similar to meditation. In the end, it doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as it works for you.
28. WTWTCH. What’s the worst that could happen? If you’re afraid of public speaking, imagine yourself on a stage with everyone laughing at you. How do you feel afterward? Now, let go of the story and feel the sensations fully. Feel them until they are done and the worst case feels neutral or even expansive.
29. Yoga. Energy can get trapped in your body. When you do Yoga and breathe, that energy can be released. Sometimes you release parts of your fears, or you might even find that you’ve dropped a few fears without even noticing after a few months of Yoga.
30. Ask. Your feelings are there to tell you something, ask what the purpose of them is. Ask your heart, God, the universe, or whatever you feel comfortable with. What are your fears trying to tell you? What is the message they are trying to convey?
31. Understand Failure. When you realize that failure is not the end of the world, you become free. Failure is just a stepping stone to success. Most of our fears are fear of failure, shame, or somehow not living up to the standards society has put up for us.
32. Explore Your Roots. What is the root of your fear? This may require some meditation. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started. If you’re afraid of public failure for example, when did it first appear? Were you shamed in public when you were younger? What happened?
33. Play. Remember to play with all of this. Let it be messy. See which tips resonate with you, and experiment with them. Seriousness is another expression of fear, so take a light approach to this.
And Please Remember
Whatever fears you’re facing, remember that the only thing that matters is that you listen to yourself, and your inner GPS.
Here’s a super short video of me sharing one of the most important things I’ve learned in my life:
The Wrap Up
While overcoming fear is a learned skill, it can take time.
If you find yourself rushing, slow down. Don’t think of this as going from 0% to 100% in one go. See it as becoming 0.1% better each day.
That 0.1% may seem small, but over time it turns into a wrecking ball.
P.S. Would you be interested in discovering how to follow your heart? Then I invite you to take a look at my book: Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life (affiliate link. I receive a small share of any purchase you make at no cost to you. Thank you in advance!).
Sign up to the free newsletter for exclusive articles, offers, and to make sure you never miss an update.