Getting through fear is a skill that anyone can learn.
The problem is that most people cling to their fears, because they believe it’s a part of who they are.
If you aren’t ready to face your fears, you probably won’t transcend them.
And there’s nothing wrong in that. Everything happens in its own time.
If you’re reading this article though, I’m pretty sure that you’re ready to take another step forward.
You searched for this information, or you bumped into it, which isn’t just a coincidence.
Let’s have a look at some of my favorite ways of dealing with fear.
How to Start Overcoming Fear, Right Now
1. Awareness. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to be aware that your fears are causing havoc in your life. It’s easy to get so attached to your thoughts and feelings that you think they are all that exist, which couldn’t be further from the truth. You are not your fears. You are the awareness that experiences it.
2. Identify. Get specific about what exactly you’re afraid of. Pay attention to the pictures you have in your head about the situation. What is happening in them? What are you really scared of? Become an observer of your inner space.
3. Curiosity. While curiosity may have killed the cat, it certainly won’t do you any harm when investigating your fears. Get curious about what thoughts generate your fear. Where do you feel the fear? How do you react to it? What color does it have? Be an observer of what is going on.
4. The Now. What are you lacking right now? When you center yourself in the now, you realize that everything is how it is. You naturally accept what is. Tapping into the now can be as simple as feeling your body and breath. My favorite book on the subject is Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (amazon affiliate link. I get a small share of any purchase you make at no extra cost to you). Here’s a video I made on living in the now:
5. EFT. EFT is short for Emotional Freedom Techniques. It is also sometimes referred to as tapping. You use your fingertips to tap meridian points on your body while thinking of a fear you have and it can alleviate and sometimes get rid of the fear altogether.
6. Sedona Method. Another simple system to conquer fear is the Sedona method. It consists of asking a few simple questions while focusing on your fear. It’s so simple that I dismissed it several times before taking it seriously. Bad move on my part.
7. The Work. The Work is similar to the Sedona method in that it asks questions. The Work is one of my favorite ways of dealing with fears, anxieties, and worries. There are many methods available, so pick the one that you resonate with the most.
8. Hypnosis. With hypnosis, you can program the right thoughts into your mind and eliminate negative thoughts and beliefs. This doesn’t work for everyone, but it might for you. My brother uses it to evoke positive change in his clients. Remember, this isn’t necessarily about getting rid of your fears, but learning to relate to them in a different way.
9. Gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, switch it over to what you are grateful for instead. If you’re afraid of public speaking, be grateful for the opportunity to communicate with so many people, and that they are there to genuinely listen to what you have to say. If you are outgrowing your friends, be grateful for what’s to come.
10. Journaling. Getting your fears down on paper is important, because trying to think them through doesn’t work. You get caught up in endless loops of negativity that only lead you further down the rabbit hole, and make your life miserable.
11. Talk. No-brainer advice, but how often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how others might react, or because of some other reason? Talking helps, but avoid drowning in self-pity, and choose the right person to talk to. If you have no one to talk to, try journaling (see #10 above), or find a therapist (see #12 below).
12. Therapy. If you can find a good therapist, therapy can be highly beneficial, even life-changing. Finding the right therapist for you can be hard. Listen to your heart and choose someone who resonates with you, such as an ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) therapist.
13. NLP. NLP is short for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I’ve been to a seminar with the co-founder, Richard Bandler. You learn how your mind works. NLP has helped thousands in eliminating phobias, fears, and other emotional problems, so it has its place, but only if it feels magnetic to you.
14. Life Coach. Do you have a fear of success, or a fear of failure? A good coach can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from. I’ve spoken to a few in my life and while it can be uncomfortable, it’s very helpful in getting clear about what you want and what’s stopping you.
15. Read. Reading a good book on your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. I like to read a lot of motivational and inspirational work on and around the topic I’m dealing with. And if your life is falling apart, pay attention to what books come into your life. Notice which ones call out to you.
16. Take Action. I’m an action taker, and I know that fears are just fears. They are created by my imagination to make reality seem scarier than it is. When you take action and face your fears, they become weaker, because you realize that reality isn’t nearly as bad as your imagination. This allows you to find and follow your passion.
17. Watch. Watching a movie or a documentary can be as enlightening as reading a book. Sometimes it’s nice to distract yourself from your fear. And if you really want to, you can find dozens of movies on the fear you’re dealing with.
18. Diet. Did you know that the food you eat can have a dramatic impact on how you feel? All the processed sugars, additives, sweeteners, and other chemicals in our foods have a surprisingly powerful effect in getting our body out of balance. Stick to a clean diet that suits you. Meaning, more fruits, vegetables and whole (real) foods. Just eat a bit more each day. See what happens. You may find yourself having more energy and courage.
19. Positivity. Whenever fear strikes, flip it over. Instead of thinking of something bad that can happen, think of something positive. What’s a positive outcome to your fear? If you’re thinking about public speaking, imagine yourself being successful instead of failing horribly. This is very similar to #9, but with a small twist.
20. Perspective. Learning to deal with fear is all about putting your negative thoughts in perspective. We tend to focus too much on the negative, so by looking at all the options, you often realize that you’re making a big deal of nothing. There are so many things that could happen that it’s impossible for your mind to predict the future. We aren’t psychics.
21. Surrender. Surrendering to what is is powerful, because as long as we try to change what is, we are in war with reality. Sure, our mind may tell us that we can’t surrender. We may be afraid, but what I’ve found is that when I surrender, I find peace. I’m not giving up on life. I’m simply stopping the incessant thinking and trying to control that which cannot be controlled. There’s a subtle difference. You can still change your life, but it comes from a different place.
Here’s a video of mine on this topic:
22. Your Story. We all tell ourselves a story about our fear. If I’m afraid that no one will like my writing, I tell myself a story (in my head) about how I’ll fail horribly, people will laugh at me, or even worse, no one will read what I have to say. What’s your story?
23. Release Control. We want to learn how to control fear. We want predictability, even though it’s impossible to get. Where we don’t have control, we experience fear. But is it possible to ever have control? Even if you can swim, you can drown. A professional guitar player can still make mistakes and ruin a gig. Give up the illusion of control, and you’re free to focus on what matters. Sometimes nothing seems to be happening in life, but we can’t see everything that’s going on. There are times when we have to release control and trust life. We do what we can with what we have, but then we relax.
24. Help. Be kind to others. If you’re shy, focus on helping people instead of being self-conscious about how you look or sound when you talk. Flip it to other people and make yourself feel good. This is similar to #16.
25. Meaning. I believe we all go through things for a reason. That includes the fears we have. It also includes overcoming fear and learning the lessons that come out of it. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but when I look back at the challenges and fears in my life, I see that more often than not, they delivered exactly the message I needed at that time. This includes things like spiritual depression and the dark night of the soul.
26. Model. I’m not talking about modeling clothes here. I’m talking about finding someone who had the fear you have, but managed to transcend it. Get in touch with them, ask them how they did it, and see if it works for you.
27. Pray. Consider praying for guidance on how to start overcoming your specific fear. Prayer is similar to meditation. In the end, it doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as it works for you.
28. WTWTCH. What’s the worst that could happen? If you’re afraid of public speaking, imagine yourself on a stage with everyone laughing at you. How do you feel afterward? You’re still alive, aren’t you? Life goes on. Even if that happens, you can keep moving forward, succeed, and share the story of how you stumbled and succeeded anyway.
29. Yoga. Energy can get trapped in your body. When you do Yoga and breathe, that energy can be released. Sometimes you release parts of your fears, or you might even find that you’ve dropped a few fears without even noticing after a few months of Yoga.
30. Ask. Your feelings are there to tell you something, ask what the purpose of them is. Ask your heart, God, the universe, or whatever you feel comfortable with. What are your fears trying to tell you? What is the message they are trying to convey? If you don’t feel like doing anything, ask if you’re trying to avoid something, and listen.
31. Understand Failure. When you realize that failure is not the end of the world, you become free. Failure is just a stepping stone to success. Most of our fears are fear of failure, shame, or somehow not living up to the standards society has put up for us.
32. Explore Your Roots. What is the root of your fear? This may require some meditation. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started. If you’re afraid of public failure for example, when did it first appear? Were you shamed in public when you were younger? What happened?
33. Breathe. Your breath can set you free. It can anchor you in the now and help you vanquish and overcome your most pervasive fears. I saved it for last, because it’s one of the simplest and most powerful ways of overcoming fear.
And Please Remember
Whatever fears you’re facing, remember that the only thing that matters is that you listen to yourself, and your inner GPS.
Here’s a super short video of me sharing one of the most important things I’ve learned in my life:
The Wrap Up
While I think overcoming fear is a learned skill, I also believe that it takes time. If you find yourself rushing, take it easy.
It isn’t necessarily about getting rid of your fears, because resisting your fears only makes them bigger.
You will transcend your fear(s) when the time is right. By reading this article, you’ve already taken the first step, and you’ve put the wheels in motion.
The next step is taking action and using one of the 33 tips above.
Trust your heart and always do what resonates with you.
P.S. Would you be interested in discovering how to follow your heart? Then I invite you to take a look at my book: Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life (affiliate link. I receive a small share of any purchase you make at no cost to you. Thank you in advance!).
Shannon Short says
Fear is such a huge life sucker. Once I figured out fear, at about 24 yo, everything changed for me. The book that got me started — “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Dr. Susan Jeffers. It helped me, especially, identify my fear of embarrassment. Who knew? Knowing and understanding our fears doesn’t necessarily mean we always easily brush them away, but it does mean that we get to choose how we let them impact us. And that gives a new freedom that wasn’t there before. So I say, “Go and conquer!”
Thanks for the great article, Henri. Have a great day!
Great tips Henri!
The one that has always helped me the most is positivity. You really can’t fail when you’re always seeking the positive outcome, even though the voice inside your head tells you otherwise. Gotta learn to turn that voice off and just go for it!
All great changes happen through positive thinking. 🙂
Timo Kiander says
That four letter word that haunts us – fear.
This was a great list of ways to get rid of fear.
Taking action is definitely one of the most effective ones – although I can very well understand why it is not that easy sometimes. You are paralyzed to take action.
Thanks for these tips Henri, the points that particularly resonated with me are 10, 15, 20, 27, 28 (never heard of that before!) and 31.
Another solid article as always here.
I know when I have negative thoughts in my head I usually just tell myself that if I don’t take action now, I’ll come back to the same spot with the same thoughts and never get further along on the road of life meant for me.
Not always easy but always necessary to help.
Powerful stuff and you’ve really listed a lot here Henri. Always a pleasure to read.
Thanks for this list. I’ve been looking for something like this so I can learn more about how to control my thoughts. I sometimes that with all the messages we get from society, culture, marketers, etc. many of us lose control of our own minds.
I’m going to go through many of your recommendations and see what works for me.
“Identify. Get specific about what exactly you’re afraid of. Look at the pictures you have in your head about the situation. What is happening in them? What are you really scared of? Become an observer of your inner space”. this really gives me a picture of nothing is impossible because the word itself says “im possible”
M. A. Tohami says
What a wonderful list! “Fear cannot take what you do not give it.” – Christopher Coan. Don’t feed your fear and it will fade away. I recommend a book called “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. She shares a very nice concept about the common source of all our fears and how to overcome it.
Some of these were *exactly* what I needed to read today. Thank you Henri – you made a difference!
I’m thrilled. And thank you for letting me know, Terri!
craig beattie says
Hi , I first felt fear at the age of six when a girl asked me to sit next to her. I am a recovering addict , clean for 30 months, i used drink and drugs to help with the fear. It helped at first and was fun, wasnt long until it got painful . Had a few pschotic episodes where i thought the world was coming to an end , and everyone was crazy, i had to save the world. That was extreme fear, didnt stop me from using. I use some of your steps, like the gratitiude, it cancels out my negattive thoughts and does not give it any power. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the progress in its prescence. I also like your step to surrender, i must not control otherwise it gets worse. Fear wants to isolate me , and then has power to attack. Grateful recovering addict
Sounds like you’ve gone through a lot but ultimately learned how to overcome fear. I completely agree with you on courage.
Keep rocking dude!
Great list. I like #28 WTWTCH. Really cool.
I recently read the book Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard. He also writes about fear, I highly recommend it.
Keep on rocking!
Fear is caused by a belief or beliefs you hold that becoming frightened is the best way or only way you will take care of yourself in a risky or dangerous situation.Ask yourself, What am I afraid might happen if I and not scared/frightened of____________? A common answer is,”I might not do anything to take care of myself”.Another common answer is “it would mean I didn’t care”.These are the faulty beliefs you need to eliminate/change to the more truthful belief.
Wayne Schoeneberg says
One day a friend of mine called me the most fearless person he knew. I laughed and told him that I had the same fears as everyone else. He said, “Well you seem to live beyond fear.” That phrase stuck with me. We all have fears. They are natural. The methods you suggest above are all very valid ways of dealing with those things we cannot accept. Fear impacts our performance, productivity and personal satisfaction. But it is a choice. We do not have to accept fear in our lives.
Vivek mishra says
Wow I just needed such article to know about solutions regarding my fear….I am feeling so content after this article….thank you soooo muchhh..
Thank you so much. i really like that one about gratitude. I will use to overcome my fear on public speaking.
Thank you so much. I’ve so much fear, for the last few months I’ve been feeling that I’ll die soon and it never happened to me before. I spend my day in bed worrying all day and I can’t make my own decisions. I’m freaked out, I feel like my life is over and I feel too weak to take an action. I’m sorry about writing my negative thoughts here.
Quite a few people seem to be feeling this way. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Find time to relax and do things you enjoy. Take a walk, watch a movie, read a book, or just sit in nature. This too shall pass 🙂
Hello Kate , Trust me I have been in what you facing and recently had a relapse but not as bad as this phase but one thing is for sure we all have different fears that drags our energies .. We just have to charge of our minds and put in different affirmations.. Do what you use to love , See a professional that can walk you through it that isn’t a family member or friend .. Also these steps mentioned will go a long way … Be it as it may I just want to let you know you aren’t alone .. You can leave a message and we can help each other conquer our fears .
I have been stayed locked up in my room all night and most of the day, because I am scared of a lot of things and I don’t know how to overcome these things and all of my fears, but reading this today, I think may have helped me take more control of what i’m affaid of. I have tried a few things such as listing to music and reorganizing things, but they didn’t help all that much, but I have been going for early morning runs and writing down my thoughts. Those are the things that have really helped. Thank you! You have truly been a great help.
So happy to hear that. Keep on rocking, Meghan 🙂
Thanks Henri for the article. I have a fear of public speaking and lack of self confidence in most of the things I do. But from today I think I have something to deal with in my life.
Keep rocking sir. This article will help most of us.
this was such a beautiful article! Loved it <3
Thank you so much for the great article. I was in search of techniques to overcome my fear of being alone. This fear laid dormant until I found a person that I really loved. When I suspected they were cheating, my fears came alive. Its taken over my life and I am a very strong woman. Your article as well as the other comments and book recommendations, has given me hope to conquer this monster. Thank you again.
anesh Jaganath says
I am really scared and frighten so much with fear.. I feel as my life has come into full stops.. How can I get rid of fear like I’m going to freak out and even have a nervous break down
Don’t try to get rid of it. Welcome it. Embrace it. It holds no power over who you truly are. You may also want to look at this video of mine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP7y3MgQ_GQ
You’ll get through this. Do your best to relax 🙂
Naftali chirchir says
Among the challenges facing the world today is paralyses talents and gifts, there are many more things that we could be enjoying today as a people if many more people would have been delivered from this demon called fear! Thank you for sharing this post, it will help us especially the youths get out and be all we can be!
Jean Madsen says
Really love your article! I’ve been thinking along these lines – especially living in the moment, letting go of control and gaining perspective. I appreciate that I ran across your wisdom as it resonates heavily with my current situation of looking for another job. If I just let things happen and surrender, I feel a great relief. My fear has to do with not having money to pay for my house. Very common, yet emotional.
Thanks for your help! It’s really nice of you to be concerned about issues like these.
P.s. I don’t write comments, but I did it now because you deserve it.
Appreciate it, Mary 🙂