Do you ever feel like you aren’t good enough?
That you don’t know enough?
We all do.
But it affects different people in different ways.
It depends on how much power you give to the thought of “not good enough.”
Do you let the thought blackmail you, or do you let it float by?
Even famous speakers, authors and entrepreneurs don’t feel good enough all the time. They feel like frauds. They want to give up.
The mind is often afraid, but that’s okay. It doesn’t have to stop you.
So why do you feel like you aren’t good enough?
Not Good Enough – The Video
Here’s a short video that I recorded in 2015 that is still relevant.
The article continues below.
1. Expectations
Could you feel not good enough if you didn’t have expectations?
If I were writing this article without expectations, I couldn’t start wondering if you were going to like it, because that would be an expectation.
If you expect something to happen, and it doesn’t happen, you immediately go into not-good-enough mode.
To transcend your expectations, focus completely on what you’re doing now.
Let life take care of the fruits of your labor, because they are none of your business. This last sentence is inspired by a quote from the Bhagavad Gita. The full quote goes like this:
Desire for the fruits of one’s actions brings worry about possible failure. When you are preoccupied with end results, you pull yourself from the present into an imagined, usually fearful future. Then your anxiety robs your energy and, making matters worse, you lapse into inaction and laziness.
All you can do is what you can do in in this very moment.
Life unfolds the way it unfolds. If you resist, you suffer. Focus on the here and now.
2. Conditioning
We come into this world with almost no conditioning. We don’t even know how to think, because we have no concepts. Those are learned later.
As children, we explore and enjoy what is. We live completely in the present moment, which is why most people love babies (and young children).
They gaze back at you without judgment, without the cloud of thought.
Most of us have grown up with conditioning that is no longer helpful.
Conditioning is simply an accumulation of thought and feeling patterns that you’ve picked up.
If that conditioning is at odds with reality, you suffer. The suffering is life nudging you to look within, face it, and release it.
I’ve gone through my share of suffering. I’ve had times of heaven and times of hell. It hasn’t been fun, but I am immensely grateful for it.
Your conditioning can help you wake up, or it can keep you in suffering. It can tell you that you aren’t good enough, but the thought of not being good enough is not good enough.
It’s not sufficient proof.
Just because a thought appears does not make it true.
Even if another thought tries to back up the first thought, it does not matter. You don’t have to attach to that thought.
3. Thought
Last but not least, you don’t feel good enough because of the thoughts you give power to.
If a thought comes up and tells you that you’re not good enough, you can either believe it, or you can witness it with a smile (smile optional).
This doesn’t mean you will instantly feel good enough. The thought and feeling may linger, but that’s okay.
Most people believe every thought they have. It’s a vicious cycle. Unfortunately, many live their whole lives as slaves to their mind.
But it’s time to cut the power cord to your thoughts.
Just because a thought tells you that you’re not good enough does not make it so.
And right about now you may have a thought that goes, “yes, but…”
Notice that it’s just another thought trying to help the previous thought. Just let the thoughts dance.
If a thought comes up that says “But the thoughts are too strong,” notice it is yet another thought trying to pull you back into the illusion.
It’s okay if fear comes up. We are human beings. We experience everything on the spectrum of emotion.
Here’s an older video of mine that you might find interesting if you think you have to change your thoughts:
Transcending Doubt
Whenever I feel doubt creeping up, I try not to feed it by thinking about it more.
It may try to seduce me to engage, because that’s what thought does. When I have a thought of doubt, I feel doubt. But that doesn’t mean anything. It just means that I’m experiencing a thought.
If I don’t feed the thought by trying to fix it, it eventually disappears, because new thoughts come along.
Perhaps the most important message I want to give you is that you don’t have to feel good enough to be good enough.
You don’t even have to play the game of good enough or not good enough. You are the way you are.
And if you feel frisky, you can meet the not good enough thought with fully embracing that you’re not good enough, while noticing that it doesn’t change anything about this moment.
The Simple Takeaway
Not feeling good enough is not a problem.
You don’t have to fix it, or fix yourself. In fact, trying to fix it only feeds it.
Thoughts themselves hold no power. You may not feel like that’s true because you’ve given thoughts power all of your life.
To unravel this habit, begin to notice when these thoughts come in, and stay non-reactive.
This will take practice, but it is worth it.
Wishing you all the best,
Henri
P.S. If you want to dive deeper into how to follow your inner GPS, I invite you to check out my book Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life (amazon affiliate link that supports my work).
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