Do you ever feel like a fraud?
Or just plain not good enough to do what you love?
We all do.
But it affects different people in different ways.
It depends on how much power you give to the thought of “not good enough.”
Do you let the thought blackmail you, or do you let it float by?
Even famous speakers, authors and entrepreneurs don’t feel good enough all the time. They feel like frauds. They want to give up.
The mind will always be afraid, but that’s okay. It doesn’t have to stop you.
So why do you feel like you aren’t good enough?
Not Good Enough — The Video
Here’s a short video I recorded on my experience with not being good enough, and how I deal with it.
When you’re done watching the video, keep reading the article, because they both compliment each other.
And remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel for more videos like this, because I don’t post every video here on the blog.
Could you feel not good enough if you didn’t have expectations?
If I were writing this article without expectations, I couldn’t start wondering if you were going to like it, because that would be an expectation.
If you expect something to happen, and it doesn’t happen, you immediately go into not-good-enough mode.
To transcend your expectations, focus completely on what you’re doing now.
Let life take care of the fruits of your labor, because they are none of your business. This last sentence is inspired by a quote from the Bhagavad Gita. The full quote goes like this:
Desire for the fruits of one’s actions brings worry about possible failure. When you are preoccupied with end results, you pull yourself from the present into an imagined, usually fearful future. Then your anxiety robs your energy and, making matters worse, you lapse into inaction and laziness.
All you can do is what you can do in in this very moment.
Life unfolds the way it unfolds. If you resist, you suffer. Focus on the here and now.
We come into this world with no conditioning. We don’t even know how to think, because we have no concepts. Those are learned later.
As children, we explore and enjoy what is. We live completely in the present moment, which is why most people love babies (and young children).
They gaze back at you without judgment, without the cloud of thought.
Conditioning is simply an accumulation of thoughts that you’ve picked up from outside of yourself.
If that conditioning is at odds with reality, you suffer.
I’ve gone through my share of suffering. I’ve had times of heaven and times of hell. It hasn’t been fun, but it has all taken me to the place where I am now.
Your conditioning can help you wake up, or it can keep you in suffering. It can tell you that you aren’t good enough, but the thought of not being good enough is not good enough.
It’s not sufficient proof.
Just because a thought appears does not make it true.
Even if another thought tries to back up the first thought, it does not matter. You don’t have to attach to that thought.
Last but not least, you don’t feel good enough because of the thoughts you give power to.
If a thought comes up and tells you that you’re not good enough, you can either believe it, or you can witness it with a smile (smile optional).
This doesn’t mean you will instantly feel good enough. The thought and feeling may linger, but that’s okay.
Most people believe every thought they have. It’s a vicious cycle. Unfortunately, many live their whole lives as slaves to their mind.
But it’s time to cut the power cord to your thoughts.
Just because a thought tells you that you’re not good enough does not make it so.
And right about now you may have a thought that goes, “yes, but…”
Notice that it’s just another thought trying to help the previous thought. Just let the thoughts dance without your supervision.
It’s okay if fear comes up. We are human beings. We experience everything on the spectrum of emotions.
You don’t have to change your thoughts, or fix your feelings. There is nothing wrong.
Once you let it all be, interesting things begin to happen.
If you want more on this, here’s a short video:
Whenever I feel doubt creeping up, I try not to feed it by thinking about it more.
It may try to seduce me to engage, because that’s what thought does. When I have a thought of doubt, I feel doubt. But that doesn’t mean anything. It just means that I’m experiencing a thought.
If I don’t feed the thought by trying to fix it, it eventually disappears, because new thoughts come along.
Perhaps the most important message I want to give you is that you don’t have to feel good enough to be good enough.
Deep down you are already good enough. Nothing can change that.
Remember, you feel your thoughts. You don’t feel circumstances.
There are days when I don’t feel good enough, and there are days when I feel on top of the world. That’s how life works. We go up and down the roller coaster of our own life.
There’s nothing you have to do about it, except enjoy the ride.
The Simple Takeaway
Not feeling good enough is not a problem.
You don’t have to fix it, or fix yourself. In fact, trying to fix it only feeds it, unless you feel drawn to do it.
If I’m feeling particularly anxious, I might take the day off. I used to try and figure it out, but I’ve realized that there’s nothing I have to do.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling anxiety, fear, or whatever is going on.
And as I relax, my inner GPS shines through that much more, because there’s less noise in my head.
So, you don’t have to “become” good enough to do what you love. There is no obstacle that needs to be eliminated.
Instead, notice what interests you, and follow the breadcrumbs.
After a while, it’s as if life lives you. Everything is okay, and life simply unfolds.
P.S. If you want to dive deeper into how to follow your inner GPS, I invite you to check out my book Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life