Every Time My Life is Falling Apart, Here’s What I Do

It all started in 2013-2014, when I went through the darkest few months of my life.

Everything seemed to be falling apart.

Life felt meaningless, pointless, and empty.

It felt like there was no reason to live.

I was fortunate to tap into what I knew to keep going.

And in this article, I’ll share not only what I knew, but what I discovered having gone through the chaos.

Let’s start with the why.

Why is My Life Falling Apart?

That’s what I asked myself when all this began. I wondered: “Why is this happening to me?”

The answer I discovered: I was letting go of old fears, worries, and insecurities, so that I could discover who I truly am.

I couldn’t do that without first letting go of the old. The new rises from the dusty ashes of the old.

But it was agonizing at times, because a part of me was dying.

What to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: 3 Proven Tips

Having practiced meditation and mindfulness allowed me to observe what was going on during this time.

My mind was in a panic, because our minds want certainty, clarity, and safety. Yet there was none to be had.

The more you watch your mind weave stories about what’s wrong, the more you avoid getting caught up in them.

What you’re feeling is not you being destroyed, but what was never essential. You are being scraped clean, so you can see what truly matters.

So what did I do during this time?

1. Relax

Relaxation seems like an obvious step, doesn’t it?

When everything is falling apart. you may not have the energy to do anything. So what is life telling you? Life is telling you to stop pushing.

You are being nudged to look inside and feel what is going on.

You don’t have to figure it out right now. You can watch your mind panic. You are not that panic. With feelings, don’t create any distance. Instead, feel them as best you can. Embrace them like an old friend who is in need of help.

To relax, I took walks, watched movies, read books, and enjoyed being alone. I didn’t have the energy to be social.

And remember to take care of your body. Give it nutrition. Drink smoothies. Eat salads. Whatever works.

There’s no need to push. You’ll have plenty of energy after this passes.

(I still worked during this time, but I did my best to relax.)

2. Face the Darkness

You can welcome even the seemingly darkest feeling you have.

What makes this scary is your mind labeling it as scary. It’s a thought. It’s a sensation in your body. Nothing more.

As my life was seemingly falling apart, my mind would tell me things like:

Life is hopeless
There’s no point in living
This will never end
You have to keep pushing
You will end up homeless

The stories went on and on. What did was to imagine the worst case scenario, and I felt it fully. I welcomed it.

I smiled at the fear, because it was a movie in my mind. I could recoil, or I could embrace. I chose to embrace.

I refused to act from fear, because acting out of fear leads to more fear.

Even thinking that life is falling apart is a thought-based story based on conditioning, memory, personality, and knowledge.

You don’t know if this is good or bad. You don’t know what’s coming. Your mind certainly can’t predict the future, otherwise you’d be Gandalf.

So if your mind cannot foretell the future, why do you believe its stories about what’s coming?

This is a time of decoupling from your thoughts.

While my mind was giving me reasons to freak out, I welcomed it all. I was mindful of what was going on, but I didn’t have to react. I still got caught from time to time. But I did my best.

This may feel like the end of the world, but it isn’t. This is a rebirth.

3. Follow Your Heart

Even in the thick of this, you can follow what feels magnetic.

If you’re in the midst of your world falling apart, your mind is probably going: “Yeah, right, Henri. That’s easy for you to say.”

But notice that that’s your mind again, trying to give you a reason for why you can’t follow your heart.

Challenge your thoughts. Sit down, or lie down, and welcome what is going on. Feel your anguish fully. Thoughts and stories are trying to distract from the sensations in the body.

The more you do this, the more you begin to connect to your heart, and your inner wisdom.

(If you want to dive deeper into following your heart, you can always check out my book, Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life.)

You have what you need. But you have to be willing to welcome what is standing in the way.

Welcome the thoughts that say that this shouldn’t be happening, something is wrong, or that you’re broken.

An Uplifting Summary

When you feel like your life is falling apart, it can seem like it will never stop, but it will.

This is a transition, and in every transition there is chaos.

This can be labeled as bad, or it can be labeled as an opportunity for change. You can turn away from the feelings that are asking to be felt, or you can become curious.

Don’t you ever wonder what is truly going on? Why is there so much resistance to a feeling, to sensations in the body?

What would happen if you felt them even though it seems scary?

Give it a try.

You will be surprised at what you find.

All the best,
Henri