It all started in 2014, when I went through the darkest few months of my life.
Everything seemed to be falling apart.
My life felt meaningless, pointless, and empty.
It felt like there was no reason to live.
But I was lucky. I was able to stay positive because of what I knew.
And in this article, I’ll share not only what I knew, but what I discovered having gone through the chaos.
Let’s start with the why.
Why is My Life Falling Apart?
That’s what I asked myself when all this began. I wondered: “Why is this happening to me?”
In other words, I was building confidence in following my heart, and my purpose.
I couldn’t do that without first letting go of the old. The new arises through the dusty ashes of the old.
But it was agonizing at times, because a part of me was dying.
What to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: 3 Proven Tips
However, just because a part of me was dying didn’t mean that I was dying.
I’ve been meditating for quite a while, so I was able to observe what was going on.
My mind was in a panic, because our minds want certainty, clarity, and safety. Yet there was none to be had.
The more you watch your mind weave stories about what’s wrong, the more you avoid getting caught up in it.
What you’re feeling is not you being destroyed, but what was never essential. You are being scraped clean, so you can see what truly matters in your life.
So what did I do during this time? Here are 3 things I found helpful.
It kind of seems obvious to relax, doesn’t it?
Everything is falling apart. You may not have the energy to do anything. So what is life telling you? Life is telling you to stop pushing so hard.
You are being nudged to look inside, to look at the spiritual side of your life once again.
This too will pass.
You don’t have to figure it out right now. You can watch your mind panic. You are not that panic. You are the observer of your experience.
You decide how you want to relate to your life “falling apart.”
Take time for yourself. Do the best you can with what you have.
What I did was take walks, watch movies, and read books. I enjoyed being alone more than usual. I didn’t have the energy to be social.
And remember to take care of your body. Give it nutrition. Drink smoothies. Eat salads. Whatever you enjoy.
There’s no need to push. You’ll have plenty of energy after this passes.
(I still worked during this time, but I did my best to relax.)
2. Face the Darkness
You can welcome even the seemingly darkest feeling you have.
What makes this scary is your mind labeling it as scary. It’s a thought. It’s a sensation in your body. Nothing more. It doesn’t mean anything until you decide what it means.
As my life was seemingly falling apart, my mind would tell me things like:
- Life is hopeless
- There’s no point in living
- This will never end
- You have to keep pushing
- You will end up homeless
The stories went on and on. What I did was face my worst fear. I imagined the worst case scenario, and I felt it fully. I welcomed it.
I smiled at the fear, because it was a movie in my mind. I could recoil, or I could embrace. I chose to embrace.
I refused to act from fear, because acting out of fear leads to more fear.
Even thinking that your life is falling apart is your mind weaving a story based on what it thinks is happening in your life.
You don’t know if this is good or bad. You don’t know what’s coming. Your mind certainly can’t predict the future, otherwise you’d be Gandalf.
So if your mind cannot foretell the future, why do you believe its stories about what’s coming?
This is a time of decoupling from your mind.
While my mind was giving me reasons to freak out, I welcomed it all. I was mindful of what was going on, but I didn’t have to react. Not all of the time. I’m still human. I still got caught from time to time. But I did my best.
The more I did this, the more I saw that I was not my feelings or thoughts. I was the experiencer of them.
I am in this bodysuit watching life from my unique perspective. It’s not personal. Many are going through what you’re going through.
It feels like the end of the world, but it isn’t. It may be the end of a chapter, but not the end of the book.
3. Follow Your Heart
Even in the thick of this, you can follow what feels magnetic.
If you’re in the midst of your world falling apart, your mind is probably going: “Yeah, right, Henri. That’s easy for you to say.”
But notice that that’s your mind again, trying to give you a reason for why you can’t follow your heart.
Challenge your thoughts. Sit down, or lie down, and welcome what is going on. Feel your anguish fully. Watch it all.
The more you do this, the more you begin to connect to your heart, and your inner wisdom.
(If you want to dive deeper into following your heart, you can always check out my book, Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life.)
You have what you need inside of you. The help you seek is already within.
But you have to be willing to welcome what is blocking it.
That’s your mind doing its dance.
An Uplifting Summary
When you feel like your life is falling apart, it can seem like it will never stop, but it will.
This is a transition, and in every transition there is chaos.
You can decide how you want to relate to this change. You can label it as bad, and you’ll get to experience resistance and fear.
Or you can watch it with curiosity. What’s going to come next?
Who are you?
Who are you becoming?
If it feels like you’re dying, that’s your mind telling you that. What’s dying is your old self, your ego.
You don’t have to believe everything your mind says.
Bring your attention to your heart, and notice what feels magnetic.
You’ll be just fine.
All the coolest,