Today I want to touch upon something I think is important, but all too easy to forget when you’re out to make money and cut those day-job shackles from your ankles.
I’m talking about the false symbols of success that so many worship.
The big houses, nice boats, fast cars, expensive watches, piles of money, and other goodies.
I’ve been lucky in my life, because I’ve experienced a lot of these “symbols”, which has helped me realize that they aren’t worth pursuing.
I used to think money was the be all and end all of happiness, but oh was I wrong.
You can spot false symbols of success quite easily. If you set a goal to make $100,000 a year, but only need $50,000, the goal might feel good while you’re working towards it, and even give you satisfaction when you reach it, but after a while, it just feels empty, without substance.
What matters in life are the connections we have, the value we give, and the experiences we have. Sounds cheesy, but that’s the conclusion I’ve reached.
Now, I’m far from perfect in that I only go after “pure” goals, because I get sucked into greed over and over again, and sometimes that’s exactly the nudge I need to stay on track.
Fame
I like to say that I’ve never wanted fame, but I’d be lying, because deep down I know that I like recognition.
But I also know that getting Brad Pitt-like status where I can’t go outside without being recognized would be horrible.
A small dose of recognition is normal. We all want to be seen as contributors in our community or tribe, and that’s healthy.
What’s unhealthy is the constant struggle I see towards stardom. People sacrificing everything to become famous. It may just be what they need to experience right then and there, but it still kills me inside to see someone chasing something … unreal.
Success
Success means different things to different people, but what is success really? Is it accomplishing what you truly value?
Most likely not.
It’s usually accomplishing something that someone else values, which in this case is society, parents, friends, and so on. That’s why our parents want us to become lawyers, doctors, and bankers.
Well, to be honest, mine didn’t push me towards those, but there is always some bias to take the traditional path, which is go to school, get good grades, and buy stuff that is “important.”
Getting a great job leads to an avalanche of money, which means that you can buy a nice house, a fast car, and get security.
Instead of blindly accepting the symbols of success that someone else gives to us, I think it is far more important to sit down and determine for yourself what success means to you, and what it doesn’t.
Only when we think for ourselves can we become truly free. Earning money online is all well and good, but if you aren’t careful, it can become just another job, just another 9-to-5.
The cycle repeats itself, until something changes inside of you.
Money
I was lucky to have stumbled onto online poker when I was 18. It was one of my early wake up calls.
It got me thinking about what truly made me fulfilled. It led me to start meditating more, to start questioning what is going on, and to start taking responsibility for my own life.
I had all the money I needed, but I wasn’t any happier. In fact, I worried about my future.
You can read all the books you want about happiness, but they don’t truly have an impact until you experience it for yourself.
I didn’t become enlightened through that first realization, but it helped me become aware of the fact that something wasn’t quite right.
I’ve always had an easy time falling into greed and doing things for money, but sooner or later I always snap out of it, because it doesn’t make me fulfilled.
I like making money, but I love making money when I’m helping someone or providing value just like I’m doing with this article.
What you put out, comes back to you.
Stuff
Then we have the little things, such as designer clothes, bags, shoes, new phones, gadgets, and all the rest of them.
Buying a Playstation console and playing now and then is cool, I even think it’s productive, because it’s fun to go 1-on-1 versus your friends playing FIFA or NHL, but it makes me bored after awhile, because I completely destroy everyone at those games ;).
I live next to an IKEA, which is the epitome of our consumer culture, and what amazes me time and time again is how frequently the parking lot is packed with people buying stuff they don’t need.
Buying more stuff serves as a distraction from looking inward and facing the emptiness that so many are experiencing today.
People aren’t fulfilled, a piece of them is missing, but things do not change until they reach a breaking point.
When the suffering becomes impossible to avoid and when there’s nothing left than to face it, then you either change or you break.
Wrapping Up
What I wanted to get across in this article is that it’s important that you remember what is truly important to you, even though you want to earn a living online.
I’m learning more and more about this myself, and it is a topic I’m hugely passionate about, because not only does it affect you and me individually, but it affects the whole planet and our future.
Does it make sense to keep consuming as we do today?
What will our future look like if we do not adapt?
I’m an optimist, so I believe that we will learn, but it will take time.
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As someone who has been down that path, I can say for me that the past several years of hardly owning any possessions (such as no car) have been the most stress-free and fulfilling. This is someone who has owned houses and a handful of expensive cars at at once.
It seems more and more people are coming to the same realizations. Good stuff, James!
There is definitely a spreading ‘awakening’ to these things you bring up, Henri.
It is not money, or fame, or stuff that makes us happy. And certainly many people have to go down the road of finding this out for themselves rather than just hearing it. That is ok, that is how we learn best. But it does seem to be happening faster and faster, more and more that people realize that there has to be MORE, there has to be DEEPER, and more fulfilling ways to be and live.
I’m also an optimist and see an incredibly interesting possibility in a world that is now living on the razor’s edge. I wish with all my heart that when the ‘tipping point’ comes, enough of us have learned these lessons and can take the world in a new direction. Where the values are NOT based on ‘more’, money, stuff, fame or greed.
Where the foundations are solidly built again on prosperity of the soul, giving and sharing instead of taking, and principles of LOVE rather than fear. A brave new world, shall we say?
Thanks for this post, Henri!
Indeed!
The only problem seems to be that everything has to be changed, and that includes the foundation of how everything works. But in the end, it’s impossible to know what sparks change and how it happens.
It’s going to be an interesting ride 😉
Excellent post, Henri. You’ve hit the nail on the head. The pursuit of gratifying our senses leads us to lives of emptiness. It also leads to a debased and shallow culture, where people spend more time consuming, comparing and judging, rather than looking inward and taking responsibility for their own happiness and growth.
It takes courage to walk away from the flock, to realise that to be truly happy is in part dependent on how much service you are to others, rather than buying the latest 3D HD TV to validate yourself as part of society.
Thanks for the blog. I look forward to your future posts.
Oh, they have 3D HD TV now? (joke)
Thanks for reading, Mahadeva! 🙂
Hey Henri,
Good post as always. You know, humanity is ALWAYS evolving. I am old enough to remember the days when having a desire to have more than what is just needed was considered a hopeful state of progress and advancement for humanity, and that wasn’t all that long ago.
And I am willing to bet that there are people in the world today who would consider it progress and advancement to have more than what is bare necessities. There has to be a balance between material and spiritual, which are really two sides of the same coin.
Anyway, I agree with you that there is a switch back towards balance in the western world, just as there is a struggle towards balance in the developing world. It all boils down to creating and maintaining balance.
Keep up the good work.
Rasheed
Minding my own business
It’s funny how we’ve gone from lack to abundance in a short time (in some parts of the world). Perhaps the next step is, like you said, to go to balance in all corners of the world.
Keep rocking, Rasheed!
Hey Henri,
I totally agree, those things in the end mean nothing if you are not really happy or at peace with yourself. I am finding though that more and more people, tones of people are awakening to this truth and are investing in THEMSELVES which should really be our numero uno investment! (hehe just read the comment where you say exactly that…well its true;)
Tess
Couldn’t agree more with you, Tessa!
Thanks for the cool thoughts my friend. Though I’ve heard it before and believe it fully, I like how you resumed it: “connections, value, experience”. A very nice summary.
I had the opposite problem as you as I understimated money’s effect on my happiness. Now I’m learning to love it – enough.
Andrew
We get what we need 🙂
Hilarious that you live next to an Ikea. Too fitting for this post! 🙂
It is a wonderful feeling to realize we need so little to be happy. I’m constantly re-learning that. Being mindful of how time is spent has been my latest goal. But shoot, you’re already on to it!
-David
Yeah, the IKEA is just sitting there, staring at me, beckoning, but I haven’t bought anything except a bed when I moved out on my own several years ago.
Hey Henri,
I totally agree with what you say. I just graduated from college and had my life all planned out. I kept thinking about how much money I would make at what age and what I could afford to buy with it. I had this feeling that money or possessions would fill parts of my life that were previously empty. Thankfully I’ve gotten over that mindset and am now planning to live life simply and consume only what I need. I hope more people can realize this as it would help get rid of a lot of the unhappiness and emptiness you say in the corporate world.
-Tanvir
In the corporate and personal world!
I guess we all have to realize it on our own, and it will come sooner or later.
Wow!! man.. I have to say that your articles are priceless, almost all of them. I am very happy that I have the opportunity to read your articles. They are totally true and very inspiring. thanks man and just keep it up.
Thanks Mikhail!
I agree with you for the most part, but whenever I hear people saying this sort of stuff, part of me thinks it’s just a cop-out. An excuse that people give themselves for not being wealthy, famous, or generally the best person they can be. I think some people say they don’t need these things just so they have an excuse for being lazy, average, never changing, never challenging themselves and never doing anything new.
The truth is, having a lot of money, being famous or having a lot of things isn’t bad. In fact, having these things can be great! Often times, these things come as a result of you improving yourself… and the fact that you have these things means that you have pushed yourself beyond what many people are willing to do or are capable of. That should be commended!
But I think the point you are trying to make is that striving for these things as your ultimate goal in life is probably not the best way approach your time here on planet earth. Am I right in assuming that… or no?
Hey Darren,
I checked out your blog; Peru seems horrible!
And yeah, I agree completely with what you’re saying. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these things. They only become problems when your mind is in the wrong place, so to speak.
Cheers Darren!
Money is great but if you’re working 60-80 hours a week for that money, you’re less rich than someone who makes half that but works half the hours too. In the job I’m in now, even if I doubled my salary, it’s not worth it because I have to work weekends, nights, and holidays. Having more money but no time to enjoy it isn’t what I want and I know most of your readers.
Good, smart choice, Benny. You can’t live without free time.
Hello Henri,
Happiness is the name of the game for me. For me it takes paying attention (awareness) to know which emotions I’m experiencing and why. And then accepting the reality that life can never be a life long high which is a good news bad news scenario. The good news is that if you are in a bad emotional state it will change and if the bad news is that if you are in a good emotional state that too shall pass. It’s just the nature of existence. Heightened awareness is something we should all strive for. Wish you the best.
Riley
Good and bad; two sides of the same coin.
Great thoughts, Riley!
Hey Henri!
Absolutely love this post of yours because it rings so true for me.
Stuff and Money is great sure – but not when you are a slave to it.
I cherish life experiences and the free time i have to do what i like.
But hey everyone is different 🙂
Keep up the great work man
Richard
Dear Henri,
It’s funny how close your posts have come to my way of thinking lately. I had to downsize (foreclosure and then job loss of my partner). I also recently changed my mentality on being an overnight success on the internet. This year I decided that I wanted people to find me organically and take my time creating great things and joining great minds, sponsoring great products, etc.
I did have to get a job in order to be able to accomplish all of the above, and yet, I have less stress than the average person. I go to work in the bus, I have very little furniture and I get most of my books from the local library. You know what I have learned in this time? I have more friends that what I think, that I don’t need to judge anyone else and I am hopeful that others will discover the beauty of life just like me. I also came to the conclusion that people medicate against pain with things (like you said), with food, drugs, alcohol and other methods and hopefully they will discover the beauty of a tear, of a good, long cry and of being sad, feeling pain and joy and knowing that it is ok to feel all those things. And because I don’t judge myself so harshly, I seem to have more happy days than sad in my life…and my business and my life are Ok. Thanks for your posts. I like to read your stuff.
Great post Henri, so many people out here think that success means having a huge house and driving the newest cars when in all actuality it doesn’t mean except for that that particular person likes living a high priced lavish lifestyle. It takes a total change of mindset and seeing what do we really value. I know you understand it but so many people don’t in the world.