3 Powerful Steps to Dealing with Sadness

Everyone goes through periods of sadness.

Sadness is natural, yet most of us run away from our feelings.

When we run away, we fail to uncover the hidden treasures within.

Why? Because sadness has something to teach us.

Sadness is here to nudge us to look within, to release yourself from the mental shackles that never existed.

Let’s look at how you can do that, shall we?

The Video

The first step is to watch the video below, where I share what I’ve discovered to work.

This video is from 2015, yet it is still completely relevant, and gives a different angle on this topic from the past version of me.

The article continues below the video.

1. What Are You Sad About?

The first step is to look at what you’re sad about.

There is always a triggering event, because something has to trigger you to interpret life with a shade of sadness.

Now notice that your mind wants to go into stories about what’s wrong and what should be happening instead.

These stories are a distraction from the feeling in your body.

Even the label ‘sadness’ is a way to distance yourself from feeling. When you let go of that label and go directly to the sensations, what is there?

Notice the movement, the aliveness.

Can you feel these sensations, just for a moment?

Take some time for yourself. Find a place to sit or lie down, and just become curious about what these sensations feel like.

2. How Are You Creating Your Sadness?

Now let’s go into the thought world.

Once you know the triggering event, look at how you’re interpreting it. In other words: How is sadness created?

You may not be aware of what it is, which is why we want to explore what’s going on. So how do you see how you’re creating your sadness? You make two columns.

In one column, write what happened.

In the other, write the meaning you gave it, or the thoughts that led to feeling sad.

Separate the event and your interpretation.

3. What Other Possibilities Exist?

Now, look at the column where you wrote down the meaning you gave the event or trigger.

Take that meaning and think of alternatives.

What other meanings could you have given what happened?

How would an older, wiser you, see the event?

How would someone you look up to interpret things?

Let’s say you’re sad because no one is buying the book you spent so much time writing.

The meaning you’re giving that event might be that you’re not good enough and that you might as well give up.

Another alternative could be that you just haven’t found the right people yet. Another one would be that you’re still learning, and that you’ve only begun your journey.

I could go on and on.

Write down at least five alternative interpretations. The more you write, the more you will realize that your interpretation is just one of many.

Takeaway

There’s no right way of doing this.

What this comes down to is being curious about how experience is created. Investigate how thoughts seem to feel like they know something when they really don’t.

Explore the sensations that are beneath the labels, and discover that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

And remember, this is not another thing for you to try and get right.

Mess this up completely, experiment, and enjoy it.

All the best,
Henri