Everyone goes through periods of sadness.
Sadness is natural, yet most of us run away from our feelings.
When we run away, we fail to uncover the hidden treasures within.
Why? Because sadness has something to teach us.
It’s here to nudge us to look within, to release yourself from the mental shackles that never existed.
Let’s look at how you can do that, shall we?
The first step is to watch the video below, where I share what I’ve discovered to work.
The video and article complement each other.
So remember to keep reading after you’re done watching the video.
And remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel, because not every video ends up on this blog.
3 Steps to Dealing with Sadness
When you explore your sadness, do it on paper.
Otherwise you risk getting stuck in the labyrinthine nature of your mind.
So grab a pen and a piece of paper, and let’s get started.
1. What Specifically Are You Sad About?
The first step is to look at what you’re sad about.
There is always a triggering event, because something has to trigger you to interpret life with a shade of sadness.
Feelings follow thoughts, so if there is sadness, there is a belief or thought behind it. You may not be conscious of it/them, but they are there.
That is why two people can assign two different meanings to the same circumstance.
So the first step is to uncover what you’re sad about. Dive into specifics and discover what’s truly going on.
For example, you’re never just sad. You’re sad because of something. What happened? Where? How?
2. How Are You Creating Your Sadness?
Once you know the triggering event, look at how you’re interpreting it.
In other words: How are you making yourself sad?
You may not be aware of what it is. It may be unconscious, which is why we want to explore what’s going on.
Becoming conscious of the unconscious is the goal. When that happens—and you begin catching yourself as thoughts of sadness come in—things begin to change.
So how do you see how you’re creating your sadness? You make two columns.
In one column, write what happened. In the other, write the meaning you gave it, or the thoughts that led to feeling sad.
Separate the event and your interpretation.
In other words, separate internal and external.
3. What Other Possibilities Exist?
Now, look at the column where you wrote down the meaning you gave the event or trigger.
Take that meaning and think of alternatives.
What other meanings could you have given what happened?
How would an older, wiser you, see the event?
How would someone you look up to interpret things?
Let’s say you’re sad because no one is buying the book you spent so much time writing.
The meaning you’re giving that event might be that you’re not good enough and that you might as well give up.
Another alternative could be that you just haven’t found the right people yet. Another one would be that you’re still learning, and that you’ve only begun your journey.
I could go on and on.
Write down at least five alternative interpretations. The more you write, the more you will realize that your interpretation is just one of many.
One Important Thing
Remember, this isn’t about getting rid of sadness, but about gaining clarity.
This exercise is meant to show you how we create our experience.
You may not even be aware that you’re thinking sad thoughts. They may be so automatic that you just suddenly feel sad.
So the focus here shouldn’t be on the exercise. Instead, it’s about seeing that you don’t have to believe every thought you have.
You don’t have to be afraid of your experience.
There’s no right way of doing this. Remember that.
I go with the flow when I do these kinds of exercises. I skip steps. I invent new ones.
This is not another thing for you to get right. This is a thing to mess up completely, and enjoy it.
The only mistake you can make is to run away.
So experiment. Dive in. See what happens.
All the coolest,