What does it take to be average?
Are you average?
Do you want to be average?
Being remarkable, unique and successful is your birthright.
I am not just saying this to motivate you, but because I believe it to be true.
You don’t have to become something to do what you want. You only have to strip away the layers of fear, programming and beliefs that do not serve you.
This is done step by step, slowly.
All my life I’ve been in a rush. I wanted to get to the end. Sure, I read a lot of books that told me the journey is what’s important, but I never really understood.
I don’t even understand it now, but I have my moments, here and there. In order for you to be average and absolutely useless, you have to try. You have to follow the rules.
All of this takes a massive amount of energy. It’s easier to be yourself and speak your mind. Being your own, true weird self is easy, and it’s fun.
1. Obey the Imaginary Rules
From the time you were born, you have been taught that there are some things that are right, and some that are wrong. Who decides these things? Why are the rules as they are? What purpose do they serve and for whom?
When I was in school, I was constantly bewildered by the fact that everything I was learning would be completely useless in what I wanted to do. I was too afraid to drop out of school, because those were the rules.
In the end, it was a good learning experience and I made a lot of friends, so it wasn’t all that bad. I almost went to a university to study computer science, but I gave that up when I realized I could play poker instead.
What rules are holding you back from your dreams? Do you realize that most of the rules that you think are stopping you are completely imaginary? If you’re conscious and aware, you’re already following the law, so the only rules stopping you are the rules in your head.
2. Be Comfortable
Being comfortable is all well and good, but it usually doesn’t lead to growth, plus it’s absolutely boring and useless. I know I’ve had many phases in my life where I was what you could call comfortable for a while, but that’s not what I’m talking about here.
I’m talking about making the conscious decision of being comfortable for the rest of your life. I’m talking about avoiding going after your dreams because you’re scared. We’re all scared, and there’s nothing special about the people that get what they want in life.
They are scared just as everyone else. The difference is they acknowledge the fear and move forward. Fear is a part of our being. It’s going to be here for a long time, so it’s probably best to accept it.
3. Be Perfect
Being perfect is something you’ve been taught in school. Your teacher never saw all the words you spelled right, she zoomed right in on the ones you spelled wrong. The school system is severely flawed. It is great for pumping out drones, but for anything meaningful it’s absolutely useless.
I’ve been a huge perfectionist all my life. Luckily, I’ve started being able to let it go. It has been a huge relief to be able to do that. My writing doesn’t have to be perfect. My English accent is what it is. I can accept things and move forward.
Once you can accept the fact that making mistakes is healthy and part of success, you’ll learn much faster. You will become confident enough to try out your ideas. You will be more spontaneous. You will have more fun and you will get more done.
4. Make Easy Decisions
If you want to live an average life, you probably want to stick to the easy decisions. Hard decisions hurts the brain and make you second guess yourself. What if you make a mistake? What if everything goes wrong?
Mistakes and problems are another part of life that you probably won’t be able to avoid, no matter how much you try, so it might be better you accept them. If you’re constantly afraid of what might happen, you will be blocking your intuition and your heart.
There are many times I’ve come to a crossroads where my heart tells me to go left, while my logical mind tells me to go right. In the past I was more likely to go right, but nowadays I’m probably going left, because that’s where the adventure is.
5. Be Cynical
Being aware and able to think for yourself is all well and good, but when you cross into the territory of being cynical, that’s when you’re closing off your mind to new opportunities.
I’ve known a lot of overly cynical and negative people. It’s funny how you can say no to opportunity after opportunity and then blame life for being so hard. If you really want to do something, no one is going to deliver it to you.
No one is going to hold your hand and show you exactly what to do. You have to grab life by the balls, go out there, make mistakes, have fun and not take things so seriously (especially your own thoughts and fears). There’s no rule that says that you have to take life so seriously.
6. Be Logical
I’m all for using my brain, but when it comes to being overly logical and trying to analyze everything, count me out. I don’t like mental masturbation. I have no interest in arguments, debates and anything related.
I have no obligation to explain my viewpoint to you. Most arguments are a complete waste of time. Often both parties are in agreement, but they are arguing over irrelevant semantics. Let’s focus on what’s important instead, shall we?
I’m logical all the time. I make decisions logically, but I also use my gut feeling to feel things out. Combining both has been proven to work for me. Find your own way, but remember: trying to analyze, dissect and disassemble everything will make you insane.
7. Make Excuses
I keep hearing excuse after excuse for why someone can’t do something. Do you really want to give yourself a false sense of comfort by making excuses? Do you want to lie on your deathbed knowing that you failed to live your life to the fullest?
I know I don’t. I’m nowhere near living my life to the fullest, but every day I move forward and improve my life. I’m in no rush. As long as I’m moving in the right direction, all is well. If you want to be a perfectionist and wait for your circumstances to be just right, you’ll probably be waiting until you die.
You can’t follow your passion, because only special people can do that. You don’t have talent. You can’t write. You can’t make videos or speak, because you have an accent. You’re shy. These are all meaningless excuses for the average.
But you’re not average. You’re a conscious human being. You’re reading this article for a reason. There’s someone somewhere that wants to remind you that you can do the things you want.
We’re all unique, remarkable and awesome. It takes effort to be average. You have to conform and fit in. If you have the courage to be your true, weird self, you are already remarkable.
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I’m so grateful for parents who home schooled me, taught me entrepreneurship, etc. Yes, I still struggle a bit with the world’s pressure to conform, but I believe my parent’s allowing me to be who I wanted to be has given me an advantage. I have never desired to be like everyone else, and I pride myself in being ‘different’ and the very best I can be.
I plan to continue with my son, and hope that he turns out to be even more of a free-spirit!
Love this post, Henri.
Home schooling rocks. I was never home schooled but if done right, it’s great. Thanks Erica!
I love it. I love the title of this post and I love the misdirection :). Comfort, perfection and excuses are some of the most detrimental things in our experience. Those things literally can keep us from ever getting anywhere. I think the desire for perfection is one of the most evil thing society has programmed into us.
For me it all comes down to just taking action and getting started. You can always recalibrate later.
Cheers Srini!
“Being remarkable, unique and successful is your birthright.” Love it!
If you’re unique when you’re young, you get picked on. But that’s exactly what you need to succeed later on in life.
Yup, the whole school system is a mess. They do not encourage individuality at all.
A lot of this has struck a cord. Particularly:
“I’m all for using my brain, but when it comes to being overly logical and trying to analyze everything, count me out. I don’t like mental masturbation. I have no interest in arguments, debates and anything related.”
I find it draining engaging in these kinds of things too. I guess my brain is too analytical at the best of times, so if other people want to engage their analytical brain with mine it feels like it’s going to explode!
I feel the same way, which is why I’ve become more selective in what I get involved in, especially when it comes to getting too analytical.
Valuable insights Henri. Thank you for sharing what you’ve learned with us to help us enjoy the journey a little more and remind us of our power and potential! No excuses 🙂
You’re most welcome, Jennifer!
All of this just makes me remember the phrase “you are unique… like everyone else” 😉
I agree that being remarkable is a birth right, but I think being average is where we all start. After all, how can we all learn our lesson if we start from the top right?
Thumbs up for this post Henri. Made my day 😀
Ha, I like that phrase. I think when we’re born we’re already remarkable, somewhere along the way we start believing that we’re just average and finally we have to re-discover our uniqueness, at least that’s what has happened to me 😉
Henri,
Actually, I am way below average and an absolutely useless human being. You won’t find a loser like me anywhere on planet earth. When scientists claim to look for intelligent life, they look over my shoulder and pretend I don’t exist. Also…
Yesterday, my girlfriend took our relationship to the next level and threw me out of her attic window, after satisfying her womanly urges to shop on my credit cards.
As if this was not bad enough, there’s more to the sob story. My wealthy grandmother, on whom I depend for a weekly allowance, decided to cut me off from her will because I proved too slow to take out the trash and dump it in our neighbor’s garden. Plus, I failed to lie to her when she asked me–like all women tend to do these days–“do I really, really look fat in this micro, mini-skirt?” Ugh!
Finally, the worst chapter in my life arrived suddenly thanks to a chick I had picked up at the local tavern. She insisted on watching a “chick flick” with me, and it turned out to be “Legally Blonde #2″ starring the talentless Reese Witherspoon.
She also turned out to be a glutton, and I had to buy her buttered popcorn, a hot dog, soda, jelly beans, a kit kat bar, a cup of water with ice, and my handkerchief. She blew her nose frequently into my handkerchief, so I asked her to keep it and she told me, ‘Save your words, buddy, it wasn’t like I was planning on returning your precious handkerchief anyway.”
After the show, I asked her if she wanted to check into a motel room. She kicked me really hard in the balls and hollered:”Whaddya think I am–a bum like you? I have an apartment of my own. Scram, before I really kick you ass!”
And Srinivas Rao actually thinks his love life is in a mess and he can’t get a date.
Anyway, nice post, but I blame all my troubles on the system of formal education.
If mutton shops like that had any merit at all, I would have hammered out a solution to my life’s problems a long time ago. Anyway, cheers to you, folks!
Cool article bro, I have retweeted you, your articled is a rare find, and celebrates the ‘average’ it goes with what Slacko is all about.
your articles are very helpful, I am still reading them, thanks
Cheers
haha, I love the make excuse point! That is the thing I do best. I think I spend more time and effort making excuses than bettering myself!
Henri,
I like how you said take life by the balls which is what we should all do. Right now I’m facing some extreme challenges and I know once I make the decision that things will work out as they should or shouldn’t. It’s how I handle what does happen that makes me a better person in the end. How I learn from mistakes and keep going.
Gotta just get out there and do it. Change just a bit and feel the fear so you can live a little. This is a great post man.
Henri:
Just want to add a few more examples of coincidences which have visited my life, time and again. So many times, in fact, well….it is rather bizarre, if not spooky.
Some time ago, I read that Tony Robbins–a popular motivational guru–sometimes mentions the movie, “Rocky,” as a source of inspiration in his life. I switch on my TV in the evening…guess what? Sylvester Stallone is on the screen playing the hero.
I am thinking of a particular book by Dr.Deepak Chopra–Ageless Body, Timeless Mind–and I find that very same book lying on a table in a hair salon. And there are no other books there at all. Okay, so let’s move on, shall we?
Sometimes, I like to eat hot and spicy Indian food. I can only dream of “butter chicken,” and I suddenly get invited to a party where that dish is served.
I send an article to be published and I never hear from the editor. I wait for a few days, but I don’t see my by-line. I keep on thinking about my article, time and again. The next day, my article is published in the media. Coincidence?
A few days ago, I was thinking about a friend I have not met in a while. While going for a leisurely walk, guess who I see coming towards me? That same friend…