Asking the right questions can transform your life.
The questions you ask yourself and others often determine the responses you get. Ask your mind why you’re such a failure and you will receive an answer.
Shifting your questions to being more results oriented and dare I say—positive, will change your life.
I’m sure if you think back to the interactions you’ve had and the observations you’ve made, you’ll notice that different people ask different kinds of questions.
People that are already living the life they want didn’t get there by asking themselves why they’re so horrible.
They instead asked how they could achieve what they want. As with any growth-related activity, you will run into plenty of nay-sayers and people that try to limit your personal development.
When these people start showing up at your doorstep, look at it as a sign that you’re doing something right. They are there to tell you that your growth is making them uncomfortable.
At this point all you have to do is keep going.
There’s another kind of nay-sayer that you’re probably familiar with, and that is the one you have inside your head. The one telling you that nothing ever works for you.
We all have that voice inside of our heads. What I’ve found to work quite well is to mess with it. You did know that you could do that, didn’t you? After all, it is your mind.
The next time you hear that voice in your head, try changing its voice, location, volume and even picture if you’re aware of it. You can do anything you want. You can even ignore it. The voice is a thought. Nothing more, nothing less. Thoughts are ever-changing, so if you leave it be, a new thought will take its place.
That voice in your head responds to questions as well. Ask any question and it has to answer it. “What would it sound like if that negative voice in my head sounded like Sylvester the cat?”
Interesting, isn’t it? The options are limitless.
7 Ways to Use Questions
1. Law of Attraction. In my experience, we attract the life we think we deserve. This is because thoughts become actions. Actions become habits. Habits become your destiny. If you believe thoughts that you’re not good enough, you won’t try to reach for your dreams. But if you ask: What tiny step could I take toward doing what I love? That changes everything.
2. Changing your mood. How often do you feel like you’re stuck with a feeling? If you’re like most people, it’s pretty often. The good news is that moods come and go. I might wake up feeling down, but I don’t have to take is so seriously. Moods are made up of thoughts. We feel our thoughts. What do we know about thoughts? We know that they change. I don’t have to do anything about my moods, but I could ask: What if things are exactly as they should be? What is it that I’m not seeing that could help me?
3. Visualizing. How often do you get stuck when you visualize? It’s almost like the software in your brain malfunctions (Microsoft Windows, is that you?). Asking questions to guide your mind will help eliminate this stuckness. Most people don’t believe they can even visualize properly. Realize that we’re all different. You may feel your visualizations. Some may hear them. A question to help you explore this might be: What piece of wisdom do I need to see right now?
4. Enhancing feelings. When you’ve felt a change, bask in the feeling and let it build. Get curious about how your body feels. If you really want to take it to the next level, ask yourself this simple question “how would I feel like if this feeling was 10 times stronger?” You can exchange 10 with any number you want. Experiment and find your magic number. I like to start at two and keep multiplying until I feel too good to care.
5. Solving problems. When we spent a year in Spain, and when we moved there, there have been a lot of things that needed taking care of. It was like a mini-problem circus was in town. By asking questions like “how can I solve this effectively?” and “can I do anything about this now?” I was able to remain somewhat relaxed while solving all the incoming tasks.
6. Being creative. Have you ever experienced writer’s block or just feeling creatively stuck? We’ve all been there. An easy way to snap out of it is to ask the right questions. When I’m writing an article, I have a few questions I like to ask myself. It’s easy to overlook the basics of a subject that you’re familiar with, so ask yourself what you’re writing about, what are the common problems, how can it be used practically (if it is that kind of article) and what are your experiences, just to name a few off the top of my head.
7. Staying focused. There are several ways you can approach increasing your focus with questions. You can go with a question like “What if I didn’t have to feel focused in order to get this done?” or you could use something along the lines of “How would I act if I was focused?” Different people will react to different questions, so trust yourself and experiment. I am just throwing out examples, so do not think that they are the only questions that work. I constantly change the questions I ask myself depending on how I feel. The more you do this, the better you’ll get.
How to Start
Once you’ve gotten used to asking yourself questions and noticing the change in your body, you won’t need the crutches that I am about to give you. Nowadays when I ask myself a question, I feel the change instantly in almost every case.
As you read these tips, implement them and get used to them. That way you’ll actually use them. Try them out now, so you have them memorized and can play with them later today without needing to reference back to this article.
Close your eyes. Switch your focus inward and take a few deep breaths to relax. At this point you could go longer and just keep focusing on your breath for a few minutes to really get in tune with how you’re feeling. There are no rules, so make everything up as you go, that’s what I do.
Feel your current feeling. When you’re relaxed you will be able to actually feel what you’re feeling. Often we’re blocking our feelings, because we’re so used to resisting what is. Most people feel bad all day long, so they want nothing to do with their feelings. Notice what you’re feeling, even if it is bad and let it be there.
Ask the question. If you’re feeling worried about something, you can always reverse it by asking a question that will lead your mind in another direction. It’s completely up to you where you want to go from here. If you feel worried, you could ask: “What would it feel like to accept the feeling of worry completely?”
Feel the change. When you’ve asked a question, you’ll notice a change in your body. It may be gradual in the beginning, because you have to warm up your mind to the fact that you’re actually using your feelings now, but it’ll be there. As you keep playing with this process more, you will become more powerful.
Have you ever wondered why good feelings seem to pass faster than negative ones? The human brain doesn’t value good feelings (as much), because they don’t have any problems to solve.
Negative feelings however are problems that need to be solved. If you have a huge pile of bills, your mind will naturally want to think of ways that you can get rid of them. Many people drive themselves insane by indulging their mind in this behavior. You could worry about it. You could listen to the inner critic.
Remember, there’s no need to keep problems in your head if you can’t take action on them. We have to re-program our minds to appreciate good feelings. Whenever you create a good feeling or stumble upon one, bask in it, enhance it and enjoy. It’s like taking drugs, but without the adverse side-effects.
And if nothing else works, remember that you can always relax. Your mind will return to center. New thoughts will emerge.
Wisdom will help you move forward.
All the best,