Are you aware of all the ways you sabotage yourself?
Thoughts, fears and worries bubble to the surface.
They tell you that you aren’t good enough.
They tell you that you shouldn’t do this, or that someone is better than you.
You might as well give up to save yourself from the pain. You wouldn’t want to look like a fool, would you?
But this is all past conditioning. The worries and fears you have often come from peers, family and society.
In the end, you have to be willing to trust your heart instead of your mind.
Your mind will rebel. It will be afraid, it will want you to stop.
But if you stop, you will end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
If you keep going, you will reach a new level and enjoy a deeper sense of purpose, happiness and freedom.
What’s your choice?
I think deep down you already know.
Now, let’s take a look at the 5 tricks your mind plays on you.
1. “Why would anyone bother learning from me?”
People don’t care about if you’re new, young, old, beautiful, or whatever it is you think is stopping you.
People care about results. They want you to help them.
Yes, there will be people who criticize you, but those are not your people.
If you look at the people already doing what you want to do, you’ll discover that there are people who know less than you, and they are out there changing the world, one person at a time.
How? They believe they can.
Your success is determined by what thoughts you choose to give power to. If you have a thought that tells you that you’re not good enough, and you believe it, you’re stuck.
But what if you learned to challenge your thoughts?
What if you realized that your thoughts aren’t reality?
2. “Why would anyone hire me?”
If you’re a programmer, designer, coach, or something related, you may not be able to start off charging $200 an hour.
But if you do good work, people will want to work with you.
There are people who, again, may be less able than you, and they are making a living doing what you want to do.
And the bottom line is that if you don’t start now, when will you? Progress comes down to action. If you’re not moving forward, you’re standing still.
Now. you may need to do some free work in the beginning to build up your portfolio and get testimonials, but what happens if you don’t?
You could give up because it’s too hard and go back to your previous life, but do you really want to?
So then the only option is to let your fears be there and start taking action, because that’s the only way you’ll make progress.
3. “There are people out there that are better than me, so why bother?”
I ran into this fear when I started. I looked at big personal development bloggers and entrepreneurs, and they seemed to know so much more than I did.
On top of that, they had huge audiences.
I felt insignificant. I couldn’t see how I could make a difference. I couldn’t see why people would want to listen to me.
This held me back for several years until I got so sick of making excuses that I started anyway, and you know what happened?
I realized that my fears weren’t reality. Just because I think I can’t do something doesn’t mean I can’t.
You may want to read that again.
Just because you feel something doesn’t make it true. It doesn’t mean anything, except that you’ve decided to label a feeling something and then had a thought about what it means.
The truth is that there will always be people out there that are better than you. But that doesn’t matter, because you will resonate with different people.
How do I know?
Ask yourself: Why are you reading my blog?
Chances are because you resonate with my writing and my style. And the same thing will be true for you and your business.
But to get there, you have to start, and you have to be willing to let go of whatever stands in your way.
4. “I don’t want to ask for help, because I feel embarrassed.”
This is a huge problem that pops up in the Lifestyle Liberation Academy.
I encourage people to ask any question they want. I don’t care if you think your question is silly or stupid, because if you have a question, I want to answer it.
The feeling embarrassed comes from believing that you need to look a certain way in front of people.
We believe looking silly is bad. But is it really? And does it matter?
I think you look sillier if you don’t ask the question, because it’ll hold you back from realizing your dreams.
Think about it. Wouldn’t you feel silly if 20 years from now you looked back and regretted not following your dreams?
5. “I’m afraid to contact people that are smarter/bigger than me.”
This is a big one, and one I still struggle with today.
Here’s how I look at it: the people who reject you or aren’t interested, were never meant to help you. But in order for you to discover who is willing to help you, you have to ask.
Ask in the best way you can. After that, it’s out of your hands.
If you’re honest, you’ll be surprised at the response you’ll get. For example, if you email someone and tell them “I’m just starting out, and to be honest, I don’t know if I’m doing this right, but I’d love too … etc”
People respond to that, compared to if you’re trying to be someone you’re not.
You have to keep going until you succeed.
Never stop. Never give up.
The Bottom Line
You will have a lot of ideas and fears pop up on this journey.
As you keep going, you will learn to let them be. In the beginning, they will seem like godlike monsters that cannot be conquered.
This happened to me. But as I kept going, I stopped taking my fears so seriously. I discovered that they could only stop me if I gave them power.
You already know deep down what you need to do.
You need to take action.
But something is stopping you, isn’t it?
When you’re ready to take action anyway, that’s when your life will change.
And if you want a group of friendly people to help you on that journey, a bunch of in-depth training and unlimited access to yours truly, you may want to check out the Lifestyle Liberation Academy.
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Stuart Young says
So true in so many ways Henri. I have suffered from all of these and more. As an inspiration to other readers let me illustrate point 5 above. When I was writing my book I wanted to use some strategies and processes that I’d learnt from big gurus or teachers like Hale Dwoskin, Brian Tracy, Dan Sullivan, Frank Kern and John Assaraf – so I thought I’d ask them direct. I ended up asking about 25 of them if I could feature their process in my book. After many polite emails reminding them of my original request I had a dozen say yes! Little ‘ole me – got a dozen of the world’s biggest thought leaders to appear in my book. If I can do it – so can YOU. 🙂
Great example, Stu!
It just goes to show you have to be willing to take action despite the fears and worries that pop up in your head.
Stuart Young says
We have to ask ourselves what have we got to lose. The worst that could happen is that they said No. Some of them did – no harm done. 🙂
Nicolas Daudin says
Great post as usual! The mind is indeed very tricky but once you start knowing how it works, you can actually turn it out as a catalyst for you, not a stopper. But this requires looking at yourself, self-analysis and self-observation. It takes time but the benefits are huge.
Absolutamente, Nicolas 🙂
Yeah I’ve had trouble with thinking that I’m not good enough or feeling stupid in front of people who may know more.
But we’re always learning from each other on this journey so if no one asks questions because of how they feel, no one moves forward.
Right on you are, Eric!
Mark Bliss says
Totally agree with all that you say. If we all understood that a thought was just that, a thought, which may or may not be true, we would re-align all our thoughts to work for us rather than against us, but this takes conscious awareness to initially change a habit a create a new belief. There is only one thing worth going after in life, and that is something you are passionate about. That’s why you are passionate about it.
If you are excited about sharing something, it means there’s someone on the other end waiting for you to share.
Good post Henri
Although I do believe thoughts are reality – but a reality which we have the power to change, ignore, dwell upon or take action on.
I’m currently creating new thoughts to replace the old. There is a battle taking place between and old habitual, defeatist pessimistic mindset – which claim to protect us from failure – but are actually the chains to our own mediocrity.
By reading blogs such as this destroys the validity of such thoughts. There is a better path. We can use our own imagination and seek out people like yourself who show proof that great things can be achieved when you believe in yourself and follow your passion with dedication and, dare I say courage.
The fact I even left a comment testifies that this new mindset is working – in the past i may well have skimmed the post, made several excuses for not being able to follow my dreams and went to bed:)
Keep up the good work
Yes. It all takes time, Jamie.
And you’re right, there’s no need to dismiss thoughts completely, but I like the more polarized approach when I’m writing to make a point. Sometimes you have to go to the extremes before you can return to the center.
Shawn Ryan says
This is such a great article! It is easy to get caught up thinking that you are insignificant and how hard it is to be successful in our society today with so many people. When I am questioning myself or my abilities, I remind myself that the people that I think are better than me are just people too and they had to go through the same types of things that I am going through to get where they are. If they did it, I can do it too. And I will do it in my own unique way that will resonate differently with people like you mentioned.
Thank you for the inspiring post!
Exactly. You are inspired to share because there are people on the receiving end who need what you have to say. So go out and share it and let life figure the rest out.
Since 2009 I have started reading, studying,buying and up to now I haven’t take action, I am afraid because of my English. I do not even write my comment from the articles that I have read, but what you have been telling, give me the courage to speak out.