Life is filled with an endless amount of paradoxes. You have to set goals and plan, but getting too attached to your goals is counterproductive.
Your goals can motivate you, but if you focus too much on getting somewhere, you’ll end up frustrated and wondering why you aren’t already there.
Remember when you were a kid and you were going on a long trip with your parents, so you kept asking ‘are we there yet?’
The same mentality applied to life will make you miserable and frustrated. The constant need to get somewhere is an unhealthy habit that can be hard to shake off.
The solution is to change your perspective and approach. If you’re starting a business online or offline for the sake of making bank fast, chances are you’re not going to be happy because you’re going to be thinking about the end result, all the time.
Being able to release the end result requires you to be proactive. It requires you to be okay with nothing happening within the first few years.
On this blog, I can focus on helping, producing content and products that help people, but I’m not tied down by end results, such as getting to certain amount of traffic or making a certain amount of money.
I can enjoy the journey, because I have some income coming in that supports my rent and food habit. I still have a goal and a plan, but my attachment to results is reduced because of the lowered need to make something happen.
Being able to release the end result has made a big difference in my own level of happiness. Frustration and impatience knocks at my door constantly, but that’s okay. I realize that I am not perfect and that these things will happen.
{ 8 comments }
Hey Henri,
You bring up a really good point. Although we all want something, constantly looking at what we currently have and being frustrated at the lack of progress never helps. It’s taken me a while to find a nice balance between being able to want what I want but still release my desire to force it. Being playful is my approach now!
Take care,
Ben
Hi Henri, I think it’s a balancing act. It’s important to have goals and a sense of where you’re headed and why you’re headed there – otherwise you’re just drifting. But it’s equally important to make the most of the present and enjoy the moment. The journey is as important as the destination.
Henri,
Well said and very timely. I’ve been listening again to the Abraham Hicks recordings that I have and they give this great example of a GPS system and how it’s just like setting goals. But the problem is that we keep turning back when we get frustrated. So, they say let’s say you are driving to San Diego from Phoenix, well for 400 miles you are not in San Diego. IN fact for the majority of the journey you are not where you want to be. THe problem with us is we get caught up in the fact that we’re not there at (1000 subscribers, awesome relationships, $5000.00/month, etc, etc). When we get attached it’s like turning the car back around and starting all over again.
That’s an excellent analogy. It’s much easier to keep going if you’re passionate about what you’re doing and every single detail of your journey makes you happy.
Henri,
Great post, I totally agree! If we enjoy the process, keeping detached from the immediate result, we will experience a happy life.
All the best!
Boris
Hi Henri,
I fall into this trap all the time and it’s a constant battle to remind myself to enjoy the journey along the way to the final crossing off of a goal. We can become so focussed on the end result that it takes away from the lessons we can learn along the way, if only we paid attention more. Isn’t it funny how the trip to some place feels like it doesn’t take long, and yet the return journey feels like we will never arrive back at our destination?
This is a great reminder to slow down, enjoy the journey and not to invest so much in the final results. They tend to be somewhat anti-climatic anyways.
Karen
Hi Henry. Greetings from London! I had to comment on this post…For any of you who have started your own businesses, isn’t it amazing how you can be fixated on what turns out to be the wrong things at the beginning? I spent huge amounts of time and money working with a designer for a business card I threw in the bin, for instance (all 1,000 of them!). It didn’t end up reflecting what my business had evolved into. You are so right that having laser-beam focus on the proverbial finish line blurs our ability to see interesting diversions along the way, things that may turn out to be wonderful, wise experiences. If we let go of the result, we can better shape and participate in the journey. Maybe the ‘result’ or the ‘destination’ turns out somewhere else completely, somewhere way better than you initially fathomed. Great, great post!
Yeah. I quite agree. it is all about delaying gratification. Nothing worth building is worth building for money only.
As long as we realize that Thoughts plus time become words and words plus much longer time become deeds, we have no problems.
A vision board also helps a lot. It’s only in fairyland that wishes come true instantly. Here on earth, there is a phrase called “…in the process of time”
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