What can I say, it’s an extremely delicate and tricky situation. Anything involving human relationships and feelings isn’t easy.

I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s all I feel comfortable saying: You have to figure out a way to do what’s best for both of you, and sometimes people just don’t react in the best way when they lose someone they like.

I completely relate to the feelings. It’s not easy, but then again, life isn’t easy, it’s fascinating. It’s a mystery to be lived, like savoring a good novel. Go with the flow and notice what happens and what interesting events are around the corner.

You just never know!

p.s. this site is awesome.

Sounds like you’re making decisions from a really good place. It’s funny because a few times I’ve drifted away from a few of my friends, but the friendship got back on track again after awhile.

I don’t like parties either, unless they are relaxed and mellow. Keep doing what feels best, Kelli, because that is all you can do!

And thanks for leaving such a kick-ass comment

I came across your post while browsing the Internet, and it just struck me as very relevant to my own life and you have written some very thought-provoking and meaningful words here.

I have been struggling with a similar situation over the past year. I feel that I’ve grown and evolved in my own life. I do not feel that the party scene is fulfilling. I question if it really ever was fulfilling or just something to pass the time. Some friends, however, are still stuck there and It just does not interest me.

Another factor in growing apart is that a year ago I moved in with my boyfriend, about a 49 minute drive from most of the friends I hung out with through my college years. I’ve tried inviting them by me but they rarely show up, and then complain when I say no to invitations in the city by them. Correct me if I am wrong but I believe friendship to be a two way street, and if you cannot meet halfway then maybe you’re just growing apart and giving up.

I feel that ever since I have found the one guy in my life that I truly love and care for and want to spend the rest of my life with, my friends have treated me differently and they blame him for my.not being around, but that is truly not the case. It is my own decision to separate myself because I have different goals and ideals than I did at the age of 21. My idea of fun consists of a nice dinner at hone, a glass of wine and spending time with those I love.

I have tried my best to invite friends out to activities I enjoy but they turn me down. So now I am at the point where I just want to move forward in life and if I make new friends along the way, so be it. If old friends reappear and we have things in common again that is fine too. I just don’t want to live my life stuck in the past on some hope that things will go back to what they used to be. Evolving requires a recognition that things change, people change, and in order to move forward and be happy with your own life you have to come to terms with that on your own time.

I wouldn’t use the word toxic, but if someone wants to meet up with you and you don’t want to, just say no. Keeping it simple always works for me

I am being a bit of a chicken and still meeting up with them now and then. However I never make arrangements and I am forever biting my lip. How did you all “break up” with them?

If we keep a connection with them perhaps we can be a part of helping them in their growth. Who knows perhaps they will help us in our growth. Do we have so much ego to believe that we are truly growing faster than our friends? We may be growing at a different pace that others and in different directions but how can we know if we don’t keep a tiny thread of connection with them.

Lee