This post is part of the Lessons Learned From My First Year of Blogging Series.
Making real, authentic, and powerful connections is very high on my list, and I’m guessing on yours, too, right?
I’m your typical introvert, so I tend to have fewer friends, but deeper connections.
When I first started blogging in December ’09, I had no idea how big of an impact blogging would have on my life.
I just wanted to write and share what I knew, but as with anything, when you take action, surprising events occur.
I also realized that the older my blog became, and the more articles I wrote, the more of an impact I had on the world, because more and more people found my content.
This has lead to new relationships, business partnerships, trips, and information I wouldn’t had access to otherwise.
Why Age Matters
The longer you blog, the more people that come in touch with your work, and the more people take you seriously.
You see, most bloggers disappear within 6-12 months. They are enthusiastic right off the bat, but once it dawns on them that this takes hard work, they disappear.
I’m more likely to take an old blogger seriously than a new one. With the new blogger, I have no idea if they are still going to be around a year from now.
I can only assume that most other online entrepreneurs are the same way. They want to see you prove that you are in this game for the long-haul.
You have to believe that you will be successful. It’s not someone’s to give; it’s yours to take.
One year in anything is a very short amount of time. I want everything to go faster, like everyone else, but the true rewards happen with time.
I’m starting to get a glimpse of what is to come if I keep going, and I have to say: I like what I see.
Information, Ideas, And Leverage
I’m not a fan of networking for the sake of networking. It’s not something I’m interested in at this point in time.
Right now I enjoy getting in touch with interesting people that I wouldn’t mind having a coffee with.
I just can’t talk to people if I’m trying to get something from them, especially if they don’t have the same values as me.
I’ve learned to live as honestly as possible. It means saying no a lot, but it also means that I am happier and better off because of it.
As a beginner, I didn’t have many connections, and I didn’t know how to create them, even though all it took was to email someone and start talking.
Instead, I joined a membership program, where I instantly had access to someone who knew their stuff, step-by-step instructions, and a community.
You can find a lot for free online, but I still recommend that all beginners get themselves into a membership program.
It will supercharge your progress, guaranteed.
How to Get Connected
What works for me in connecting with others is to be brief and to the point, at least initially 
.
Avoid asking someone questions that you can find the answers to online. You are wasting their time. An example of this would be when someone asks me about how to set-up a blog, or how to write a blog post.
I’m happy to help, but when I get an email like that, I know that the person is probably not going to take action, because they didn’t even bother to Google the answer.
I can only imagine that other bloggers feel the same.
Whenever I meet someone new, or get in touch with someone, I do my best to be myself, because if someone can’t accept who I am, then I don’t want to be around them. We are just not going to get along.
I use rejection as a filter.
I see many trying to conform or change who they are just to get attention from someone more “successful.”
Please don’t do that. You will be much happier when you can be yourself and find people that connect with that.
I reach out to people mainly through Twitter and email. But it also depends on what medium they use.
It’s not rocket science.
The Wrap
This first year has been a pleasant surprise. I have a feeling that the second year will be even more so.
I hesitated for several years before starting the Wake Up Cloud, because I was afraid that I didn’t have anything to say or share.
When I realized that being a genius wasn’t a prerequisite for writing a blog, I breathed a sigh of relief, and thanked myself for having courage enough to begin.
Often action is more important than intelligence. You can have all the ideas you want, but if you do not act, nothing will come of them.
As I wrote this post, I had my doubts about my writing, and I could’ve gone on for hours trying to perfect it, but I didnt.
The stars will never align. The time to act is now!
{ 20 comments }
Great post Henri. This is such an important point for bloggers to realize. Instead of worrying about traffic, worry about getting to know people. Get to know your peer bloggers. Get to know your readers. Blogging gets better and better the more people you connect with.
Right on!
Hey Henri!
Best wishes for the new year!
Cool idea for a new series or articles on your blog! I agree with you that many new bloggers disappear. I’ve exchanged many emails with bloggers who seemed so enthusiastic and passionate, but they’ve lost interest already while I’m still going strong.
Have an awesome week!
Diggy
You, too, Diggy!
It’s a part of the game. Low entry, high dropout rate.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us, Henri. I started my blog in January last year, but I’ve committed to writing posts regularly since October. So, I guess I’d rather qualify as a 3 month old blogger. I’ll persist and aim to make great connections with amazing people as you’ve reminded me in this post though. Thank you for the reminder!
Cheers,
Masa
Nice work, Masa!
As an introvert myself, I can definitely relate to having fewer friends. I just need to get out of the box and summon the courage to email other bloggers.
But I always think they’re getting hundreds of emails per day, but I need to not be thinking that way. I know this is an important step, thanks for the article Henri.
Some people are getting a lot of email, but most aren’t. Besides, it never hurts to try
Hey Henri,
Thank you for all the value information that you provided on this post! Another thing that we have to do is get out of comfort zone to send that email, but as you mentioned in the post, we have to present ourselves as someone people want to connect with. I will definitely try keeping it short when asking for help, that’s my main take way!
Regards
Jason
Thank you for reading, Jason!
Sometimes the best email you can send to someone is to thank them (if you mean it) for what they are doing.
Don’t ask for anything, just give.
Henri,
How has blogging has affected to your self-confidence? I’m interested to know this, since I believe that it has a potential of boosting it quite a bit (when you create products, podcasts, coaching, guest posting, connecting with others …), especially if you are willing to stretch your comfort zone.
Cheers,
Timo
Hey Timo!
Great question. My confidence has definitely gone up since I started, because of what you said (products, guest posting, interviews etc…).
I’m going to expand on this in the Personal Development post in this series.
Henri, man, you have learned some wise lessons. I would add to your “age matters” bullet point that it helps to have a solid, consistency to your blog and to your updates. I made the mistake early on by not having a specific niche narrowed down. The problem was that I was all over the place. It was this sort-of “jack of all trades/master of none” approach. It didn’t get me much traffic. it wasn’t until I changed it to a specific niche (personal dev) that I began to get more results. Surprisingly fast.
Thanks for all you do mate. Good material.
Henri….wonderful post as always! I look at what you have done over the last couple of years and it is inspiring. I know you hear that alot but one truly never knows how they will impact others’ lives. I know that for me, the large packet of information in Only72 that I got on that special deal was huge because it had Article Marketing Traffic Booster in it. After reading it I was able to make a decision on some projects I had going.
But for me, the bigger impact is that the book has allowed me to re-focus and keep that focus some 90 days later. And 90 days in the internet world can be a long time but also a very short time
Lets rock 2011!!
There are so many points in this post that REALLY hit home with me:
-I too am an introvert and tend to crave deeper connections
-If someone can’t accept who I am, then I don’t want to be around them
-I’ve been using rejection as a filter (without even realizing it)
-I’m so much happier now that I refuse to act like someone I’m not
-I could spend months editing a single blog post, but I have to force myself to push the publish button
Thanks so much for pointing these things out. I felt a connection to this post right away – you’re a great writer.
Thank your for your blog Henri. You planted a seed, and I hope my blog will grow. At least I try, and learn. And that’s what really matters in the end.
How to connect online! This will be a big thing. I believe that the Social Media has the power to change sourcing of talent, resources. We all compete globally. If what I do in my job is “follow a recipe”, I will be outsourced to India. If what I do requires thinking and doubt and uncertainty and relationships with people and trust, then I am going to prosper. If what I do can be scaled and is valuable globally, I am going to be rich and I will thrive.
Social media, blogs, web video I believe can allow the establishment of deep, trusting relationships without the need to ever physically meet the other person and look them in the eyes. Reputation is moving online. But we don’t yet know the art of building trusted online (only) relationships… or do we?
I look forward to many more years of your blogging
Great article – You’re so right! Most bloggers are psyched in the first year, but fall off after! Glad you realized how valuable your input, philosophy and content really is! Just found you via Warrior Forum, great blog.
Agreed! Thanks for stopping by, Ryan!
Hi Henri,
I like your take on action. The right time is always now. It too easy to find an excuse or rationalize why you deferred action, but it’s not the habit of those who wish to accomplish something: it’s the habit of those who are going to play life small.
Riley
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