21 Things You Can Do To Change Your Life Forever

Change Your Life Now - Obey the Fingers!Last night I had a dream.

It was Christmas Eve. And I was receiving presents.

At that time, all I could think of was “I don’t want these. It’s just more stuff I won’t use.”

Looking back a few years, I can see how much I’ve changed. I almost haven’t noticed the change, because it sneaks up on you, until it’s impossible to ignore.

It’s like when you were a kid. You got taller, but you didn’t notice until you stood up against the wall.

The same holds true for life changes.

You are constantly changing, but it’s hard to notice until it slaps you in the face with a leather glove.

It’s not even a question of if you’re changing. It’s a question of in which direction are you changing.

Most people want change because they want to get away from something. If you’re in this group, know that it doesn’t work.

You can’t run away from yourself. Face your inner demons. Deal with them, and heal yourself.

That is how you can change your life.

Below are the 21 things you can do to change your life. It’s a hefty and spicy read, so grab your beverage of choice and enjoy.

1. Take Small Steps

A baby learns to crawl before it can walk, and it learns to walk before it can run.

Most people expect rapid life changes. If they’re wasting their time at a soul-sucking job, they expect success and fame within six months.

I’m not saying it isn’t possible, because it is, but in most cases it’s not going to happen.

People who need life changes now don’t realize that it’s not going to make them happy anyway.

All they want is their dream of a future without any problems. When they get there, reality sets in, so they set another goal.

And on it goes.

Take small steps. Enjoy the process, and have fun.

Those small steps will eventually evolve into quantum leaps.

2. Take Quantum Leaps

Something I’ve learned in working with NLP is that changes can happen in an instant. Old pains, fears, and negative emotions can vanish and be replaced by something more useful.

And this may seem contradictory to what I said above, but in reality it isn’t. It’s not either/or, it’s both/and.

We don’t live in a black and white world.

Quantum leaps are tipping points (as Malcolm Gladwell, the author likes to call them).

As you keep taking one step at a time, you will eventually reach a tipping point where everything shifts.

The problem is that most people never get to those shifts. They take a few steps, complain, whine, and give up.

They stop drilling when they are about to hit gold.

3. Accept Where You Are

When I was 18, I started playing poker professionally. I wasn’t going to work at a regular job, because there was no way I would survive doing that. I just couldn’t stand it.

Poker helped me realize many things, and one of them was that if I wanted to be happy, I had to accept where I was.

I still to this day have a hard time doing this. My mind is constantly going somewhere else.

Each day it gets better, and I’m okay with that (sometimes).

Things come and go. People live and die. Your life feels good, and it feels bad. The more you accept this, the easier it is to change your life.

4. Be Patient

I’ve been building my online business for the past five years. I say building, but what I really mean is learning the ropes.

I stumbled a lot in the beginning. I made mistakes, I failed, and I gave up in frustration more times than I’d like to admit.

I began seeing results when I became absolutely determined to succeed.

It was a big lesson in patience. It doesn’t matter what’s going on. There will always be problems. But they don’t have to clutter up your whole life.

Be patient with your progress.

You can change your life. Sometimes it just happens in its own time.

5. Forgive

We all have memories—painful memories.

What you may not realize is that the person hurting you with those memories is you.

You are the director of your mind. While the event may have happened in the past, it’s you who keeps playing them over and over again.

Reliving the past will get you nowhere. That’s why it’s essential to forgive and forget all those people in your memories.

When you do this, your life will begin to change. It takes a lot of energy to keep those memories running.

6. Heal

Healing yourself goes hand in hand with point #5. When you know that you can let go of past memories, fears, and obstacles, you become confident.

I personally use tools like NLP, EFT, and hypnotherapy on a daily basis to let go of negativity. Sometimes it feels like it’ll never end, but I keep on going.

Most people aren’t ready for life changes. All they want to do is complain. They avoid any and all solutions, because they are comfortable where they are.

And that’s fine with me, but if you make that choice, you have no right to complain or make excuses.

You either choose to be where you are, or you choose to change your life. It’s always up to you.

7. Face Your Fears

When you face your fears, possibilities open up. I still have a slew of fears waiting to be faced, but I’ve come a long way since I started.

And that brings up another important point.

This is not about comparing yourself to someone else. This is about comparing yourself to you.

How much have you learned since last year? Have you moved forward? If the answer is yes, then you’re doing well.

8. Kill Your Excuses

Your excuses are mere illusions.

You may have excuses about why you can’t follow your passion and build an online business, but are they really true?

If you really wanted to, you could make those excuses disappear, and when you do, you know what’ll happen?

That’s right.

Your life will change, once again.

9. Take Responsibility

Since talking with more and more readers, clients, and people in general, I’ve started to notice a scary pattern.

That pattern is the lack of responsibility. I see people wanting to change their life, but they aren’t willing to take responsibility.

They wait for a white knight (or black, depending on your preference) to sweep in to save the day and make change effortless and comfortable.

I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s not going to happen. When you take responsibility for the life you’ve created, you can begin to move forward.

If you’re blaming someone else for your situation, you’re stuck.

10. Follow Your Heart

And what would an article of mine be without me telling you to follow your heart?

If you’ve been reading my articles, you know that I keep writing about following your heart, and there’s a reason it keeps popping up.

As I’ve been living my life, I’ve started listening to my heart more and more.

And when I say following and listening to your heart, I mean it in the broadest sense of the word. It can mean anything, such as following your gut, intuition, feelings, or going with the flow of life.

When you begin putting the pieces together, and taking responsibility, and healing yourself, you will naturally begin to follow your heart.

11. Follow Your Passion

If you drive up to a gas station, fill your car with the wrong kind of fuel, it won’t run very well, if at all.

That’s what most people are trying to do in life. They are listening to outside influences, and that’s when all the “shoulds” come in.

It’s the belief that you have to focus on money in order to build a successful online business. I did this in the beginning, so I know what it’s like.

You want to do your research and know that there’s potential, but if you don’t do something you’re passionate about, your car will run out of fuel sooner or later.

It is your passion that will fuel your journey for the rest of your life.

The problem is that you may not know how to even start finding and following your passion. I had the same problem when I was starting out, but eventually things clicked.

I share my whole story and how you can find and follow your passion in Passionate Living.

12. Meditate

Ever had the experience of your mind racing out of control? It almost feels like you’re going crazy, doesn’t it?

A great way to calm yourself (and your mind) down is to meditate. Even five minutes of meditation can do wonders.

Did you know that a feeling can only stay in your body for about 90 seconds (chemically)? If it stays longer, you are doing something to maintain it.

You have to throw wood in the fire to keep it going.

Meditation is a great way to break that spell. So is exercise. So is eating. So is sex.

But I think one of the healthiest ways is to meditate and notice what’s going on ;).

13. Express Yourself

I find writing extremely therapeutic. It’s something I love to do. It calms me. It’s inspiring, and it infuses my life with serenity.

I highly recommend you take up journaling or just writing down your thoughts after every day. If you’ve tried to solve problems in your head, you know it doesn’t work. Your mind is too scattered for that.

You can have a conversation on paper, freewrite, and solve problems easily. It has the ability to change your life completely.

A great book on freewriting is Accidental Genius by Mark Levy. I highly recommend it.

14. Comfort Zone Kill

If you want to change your life in the most positive sense, get comfortable with being out of your comfort zone.

When you’re learning something new, you will bump into the walls of your comfort zone.

Your spirit wants to be free. It’s when you put yourself into a little box that it feels the need to rebel. You will start feeling bored, and restless.

You don’t have to suddenly infuse your life with discomfort. All you have to do is dip your toes from time to time.

15. Flow

Let’s face it. You don’t know what you want.

Sound harsh? Let me explain.

Most people think they know what they want. They make five and ten year plans, acting as if nothing will change during that time.

I’m on board with making plans and setting goals. But I don’t like rigidly sticking to them. You will miss opportunities if you do this.

In fact, you will miss life.

It’s like driving with all the windows painted black except the front window. You see where you’re going, but you miss everything else.

Accept that life brings you possibilities. You don’t always know where your life will go. If you go with the flow, it will take you where you need to be.

16. Focus

In order to change your life, you have to change your focus.

If you don’t take control of your mind, it will run amok. You will focus on the negative. You will imagine the worst possible scenario.

So, how do you focus?

You take it step-by-step. Meditate five minutes a day. Take a walk and notice how your body feels. Relax and stop stressing.

And when you do that, the way will open up.

17. Read

I love reading.

We live and die by stories. My life has changed several times by simply reading a book. I really need to compile a list of my favorite books into a post. Oh well, another time!

The stories you read have a profound effect on how you view the world. You can be stuck on a problem, and the solution can pop into your mind while you’re reading something completely unrelated.

Your mind does not work sequentially. You can be reading something, then something goes click, and your life changes forever.

And as you’re reading these very words, it causes you to think, doesn’t it?

In order for you to make sense out of the funny letters you see here, you have to go inside, and make sense out of it from your own map of the world.

Change is inevitable. It’s all about in what direction you’re changing.

If you’re looking for something to read, you might want to check out my book: Find Your Passion: 25 Questions You Must Ask Yourself.

Just a friendly suggestion ;)

18. Befriend the Unknown

You never know what you need. Remember point #15, going with the flow?

When you’re open to the unknown, which really is possibility, you accept that life may bring you something negative to teach you a positive lesson.

I’ve had some pretty horrible days when I played poker. It can murder you psychologically, especially if you’re playing it for a living like I was.

At one point I was looking up at the sky and asking “Why?”

And I’m not at all religious. But it helped me realize what’s truly important in life. It isn’t money, or material wealth, although those things can be nice.

You just never know what life will bring, so you might as well become curious.

How will the seemingly negative turn to positive in your life? What are they teaching you?

19. Reclaim Your Personal Power

Stop looking for others for approval. Just like taking responsibility (#9), you have to reclaim your personal power.

You know what to do. You can feel it. You just haven’t been listening to that inner voice til’ now.

It’s easy to give the decision to someone else, but it’s your life. The sooner you realize that, the more fun you will have.

What do you want to do right now?

If you don’t know, then start somewhere, because action will bring clarity.

20. Accept Failure

You will make mistakes.

And you won’t even know if they are mistakes when you make them, because mistakes and failures are skipping stones to success.

You only fail if you give up, so if you never give up, you can never fail, only learn, and grow.

21. You Are Always More

And above all, remember that you are always more than you think you are.

You are more than your problems, more than your fears, and more than your body.

I learned this from an excellent NLP trainer called John Overdurf.

It’s only when you focus on your problems and believe them to be you that you get into trouble.

So, remember to relax, because life is way too important to take seriously ;)

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Comments

  1. Hey Henri,

    I wanted to comment on your point of enjoying the process.

    I was thinking about this just yesterday.

    The process (no matter what it may be) cannot be avoided and will always be there. Every single thing we do is a process in one way or another.

    There are no short cuts to the process. What’s really awesome is that if you’re diligently following the process, you’ll almost automatically pick up on many of your points such as patients, accepting failure, focus, flow, excuses, and all that. It’s really cool!

    The process can and will suck every now and then, especially when it comes to building an online business. In the beginning, you’ll run into countless road blocks, fail more than you succeed, have more downs than ups, and frustration and stress can be overwhelming.

    Then as time goes on, you stick with it long enough….you begin to realize that all of those road blocks and failures were necessary. You wouldn’t have learned the critical lessons you did had you achieved everything you wanted within your first week or month. Your appreciation wouldn’t be nearly as strong.

    You truly do learn a lot about yourself.

    Great post as usual Henri :)

  2. A good collection of points that might not be new to many of us, but that we sometimes just need to read all together to make something click. I’m sure a lot of people will feel better after reading this article, and ready to take the next step.

  3. Hi Henri, great post. A good summary of the self-development gurus’ philosophies, and well stated, with your usual relaxed style. The points on accepting where you are in life, and being realistic in allowing time for your business to grow really resonated with me. I have shared this with my womenswaytowealth group and hope it will inspire others. Thanks

  4. Hi, Henri! Thank you for the timely reminders. Reading this, I am reminded that one of the things I admire about what you’ve done with your blog is your honesty, next your introspection and third how you are willing to share your journey with those who read your blog. It’s been really helpful to me in staying positive about where I’m going even if I feel far, far away from where I want to be! :-)

    • Hey Meg!

      Thanks for the kind words.

      And you know, when you feel far away from where you want to be, doesn’t that just mean that you hold high standards for yourself?

      I don’t know about you, but that’s a good thing in my world, even though it may feel like you’re far from the destination right now.

      Keep rocking! ;)

  5. Hi Henri,
    That a very thought provoking blog. I went through and assessed my progress item by item. An excellent exercise. It highlighted areas that needed to be examined in depth and worked on. Thanks so much.
    Riley

  6. Great list!

    Your point – 2 Take quantum leaps – really fascinates me. I know it is true, but I could not find any clue to foresee these sudden shifts of reality. Sometimes it even difficult to say when the shift truly has happened. I only know when it has happened after it happened.

    Thanks for sharing!

  7. Hi Henri:
    Thanks for this post. I’m glad I had the patience to wait for it and then to read it all the way through (point #4).
    I heard a nice idea once about #9 Take Responsibility: it may true that your mother (insert any other relationship) made you what you are today, but you are the one keeping you there.
    Shlomo

  8. Hi Henri,
    I just signed up to receive your articles via e-mail. I have to say they have re-inspired me and helped me to get out of my “I’m so not appreciating the process of life right now” thoughts. : ) Thank-you so much for sharing!

  9. Pawan Purohit says:

    Hi,
    I just read this. It’s really good. I felt very positive by reading your post. You know, I can’t speak english. I set for me a time period that within this time period (one month) I will learn. I learnt one and two days very curiously.. Now I stopped learning english. I want to be a big person.. Everytime within a second I get positive and within a second I get negative. Can’t control on my mind. Well thanks for your good post.
    Pawan Purohit

  10. Glynis Jolly says:

    I like what you wrote about what you call Quantum leaps. I guess some think that you can just keep on going the way you are without any change and get what you want. Sometimes you just have to have faith in fate.

  11. Archan Mehta says:

    Henri,

    The key is to persevere despite odds. Even if you fall down, pick yourself up and get back in the game. Setbacks will come and go, but it is how you deal with roadblocks that counts. It can be a true test of character to look at problems as opportunities for personal growth and professional development. Thank you for a brilliant post, as usual, and this timely reminder. Cheers.

  12. Carolyn Saulpaw says:

    I have reread this post about 5 times now. I really love it. Funny thing is I just wrote an article called “How to Flow” on my site. Your style is so honest and powerful. I love your site Henri.
    Thanks,
    Carolyn

  13. I love this list! These are wonderful things for everyone to keep in mind. Thanks for the post!

  14. Amazing!I am so glad I stumbled on your site.I would like to see that list of books you read. =)

  15. Very well written. Precise and to the point. Wish you luck in everything.