21 Things You Can Do To Change Your Life Forever

Change Your Life Now - Obey the Fingers!Last night I had a dream.

It was Christmas Eve. And I was receiving presents.

At that time, all I could think of was “I don’t want these. It’s just more stuff I won’t use.”

Looking back, I can see how much I’ve changed. I almost haven’t noticed the change, because it sneaks up on you, until it’s impossible to ignore.

It’s like when you were a kid. You got taller, but you didn’t notice until you stood up against the wall with the marks.

The same holds true for life changes.

You are constantly changing, but it’s hard to notice until it pokes you in the ribs.

It’s not even a question of if you’re changing; it’s a question of in which direction are you changing.

Most people want change because they want to escape. But it doesn’t work.

It is by facing your inner demons that you heal yourself, and change your life for the better.

Below are the 21 things you can do to change your life. It’s a hefty and spicy read, so grab your beverage of choice and enjoy.

1. Take Tiny Steps

A baby learns to crawl before it can walk, and it learns to walk before it can run.

Most people expect rapid life changes. If they’re wasting their time at a soul-sucking job, they expect success and fame within six months.

I’m not saying it isn’t possible, because it is, but in most cases it’s not going to happen.

People who need life changes right away don’t realize that it’s not going to make them happy anyway.

All they want is their dream of a problem-free future. When they get there, reality sets in, and another goal is set.

And the wheel keeps turning.

So realize that there will always be problems in life. It’s not our job to eliminate them, but to do our best, take tiny steps, and see where life takes us.

2. Take Quantum Leaps

Something I’ve learned in working with people is that changes can happen in an instant. Old pains, fears, and negative emotions can vanish and be replaced by something more useful.

This may seem contradictory to what I said above, but it isn’t. It’s not either/or, it’s both/and.

We don’t live in a black and white world.

Quantum leaps are tipping points (as Malcolm Gladwell, the author likes to call them).

As you keep taking one step at a time, you will eventually reach a tipping point where your thinking shifts.

The problem is that most people never get to those shifts. They stop drilling when they are about to hit gold.

3. Accept Where You Are

When I was 18, I started playing poker professionally. I wasn’t going to work at a regular job, because there was no way I would survive doing that. I couldn’t stand it.

Poker helped me realize many things, and one of them was that if I wanted to be happy, I had to accept where I was.

Things come and go. People live and die. Your life feels good, and it feels bad. The more you accept this, the easier it is to change your life.

In fact, it seems as if life changes itself when I stop pushing so hard.

Here’s a video I recorded on being in the present moment:


4. Be Patient

I’ve been building my online business since 2009. I say building, but what I really mean is learning.

I stumbled a lot in the beginning. I made mistakes, I failed, and I gave up in frustration more times than I’d care to admit.

I began seeing results when I became absolutely determined to succeed.

It was a big lesson in patience. It doesn’t matter what’s going on. There will always be problems. But they don’t have to clutter up your whole life.

Be patient with your progress. Stay true to your heart.

You can change your life. Sometimes it just happens in its own time.

5. Forgive

We all have memories—painful memories.

What you may not realize is that the person hurting you with those memories is you.

You are the director of your mind. While the event may have happened in the past, it’s you who keeps playing them over and over again.

Reliving the past will get you nowhere. That’s why it’s essential to forgive and forget all those people in your memories.

You don’t even have to forgive. All you have to do is pay less attention to those thoughts and memories.

Once you see that the only one suffering is you, the grip tends to loosen.

6. Heal

Healing yourself goes hand in hand with point #5. When you know that you can let go of past memories, fears, and obstacles, your self-confidence grows.

Most people aren’t ready for life changes. They avoid any and all solutions, because they are comfortable where they are.

And that’s fine with me, but if you make that choice, you have no right to complain or make excuses.

You either choose to be where you are, or you choose to change your life. The choice is yours.

Healing starts with seeing that you are not your thoughts; you are the awareness behind them. Thoughts come and go, but your true nature never changes.

7. Face Your Fears

When you face your fears, possibilities open up. Even now, there are time when I’m scared.

Fears don’t disappear, they simply become less important.

And remember, this is not about comparing yourself to someone else. This is about following your inner GPS, and living the life you were meant to live.

Here’s a short video on how to stop comparing yourself to others:

8. Kill Your Excuses

Your excuses are mere illusions.

You may have excuses about why you can’t follow your passion and build an online business, but are they really true?

If you really wanted to, you could take one tiny step forward.

That’s all it takes.

One tiny step.

Then see what happens, re-assess, and take another step.

9. Take Responsibility

Since talking with more and more readers, clients, and people in general, I’ve started to notice a scary pattern.

That pattern is the lack of responsibility. I see people wanting to change their life, but they aren’t willing to take responsibility.

They wait for a white knight (or black, depending on your preference) to sweep in to save the day and make change effortless and comfortable.

I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s not going to happen. When you take responsibility for the life you’ve created, you can begin to move forward.

If you’re blaming someone else for your situation, you’re stuck.

Learn to make decisions from your inner authority. Here’s a video where I share how I do this:


10. Follow Your Heart

And what would an article of mine be without me telling you to follow your heart?

If you’ve been reading my articles, you know that I keep writing about following your heart, and there’s a reason for it.

As I’ve been living my life, I’ve started listening to my heart more and more.

And when I say following and listening to your heart, I mean it in the broadest sense of the word. It can mean anything, such as following your gut, intuition, feelings, or going with the flow of life.

When you begin putting the pieces together, and taking responsibility, and healing yourself, you naturally begin to follow your heart, your inner GPS.

11. Follow Your Passion

If you drive to a gas station, and fill your car with the wrong kind of fuel, it won’t run very well, if at all.

That’s what most people are trying to do in life. They are listening to outside influences, and that’s when all the “shoulds” come in.

It’s the belief that you have to focus on money in order to build a successful business. I did this in the beginning, so I know what it’s like.

You want to do your research and know whether or not your idea is viable, but if you don’t do something you’re passionate about, your car will run out of fuel sooner or later.

It is your passion that will fuel your journey for the rest of your life.

The problem is that you may not know how to even start finding and following your passion. I had the same problem when I was starting out, but eventually things clicked.

I share my whole story and how you can find and follow your passion in Passionate Living.

And here’s a video on how I follow my heart and passion:


12. Meditate

Ever had the experience of your mind racing out of control? It almost feels like you’re going crazy, doesn’t it?

A great way to calm yourself (and your mind) down is to meditate. Even five minutes of meditation can do wonders.

Meditation has taught me to see through the dance of thought. I have thoughts. I have worries. And I have fears.

But I can observe them without getting too involved. It’s not always so simple, but knowing that I am not my thoughts is a tremendous help.

What’s important is not to just know it intellectually, but to see how you create your experience of life.

13. Express Yourself

I find writing therapeutic. It’s something I love to do. It calms me. It’s inspiring, and it infuses my life with serenity.

I highly recommend you try journaling or just writing down your thoughts after every day. If you’ve tried to solve problems in your head, you know it doesn’t work.

You can have a conversation on paper, freewrite, and solve problems easily. It has the ability to change your life completely.

A great book on freewriting is Accidental Genius by Mark Levy.

14. Kill Your Comfort Zone

If you want to change your life in the most positive sense, get comfortable with being out of your comfort zone.

When you’re learning something new, you’ll bump into the walls of your comfort zone.

Your spirit yearns for freedom. It’s when you put yourself into a little box that your spirit feels the need to rebel. You start feeling bored, and restless.

You don’t have to suddenly infuse your life with discomfort. All you have to do is dip your toes from time to time.

15. Flow

Let’s face it. You don’t know what you want.

Most people think they know what they want. They make five and ten year plans, acting as if they know all the variables of life.

I’m on board with making plans and setting goals. But I don’t rigidly stick to them. You will miss opportunities if you disregard the whispers of your heart, if you trade the present moment for the future.

You miss life.

It’s like driving with all the windows painted black except the front window. You see where you’re going, but you miss everything else.

Accept that life brings you possibilities. You don’t always know where your life will go. But go with the flow, and you will be where you need to be.

16. Focus

In order to change your life, you have to change your focus.

If you don’t take control of your mind, it will run amok. You will focus on the negative. You will imagine the worst possible scenarios.

What works for me is to focus on who is aware of the thoughts swirling in my head.

There’s an awareness there.

When I focus on it, I almost immediately relax. I see how my thoughts take me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. One day I can feel fine, and one day I can feel miserable.

The only difference is thought.

But there’s one thing most people miss when I share this: I’m not talking about changing my thoughts. I don’t try to change anything. Instead, I observe my thoughts, and let them be. I’m mindful of what’s going on.

Here’s a quick video on how I went from miserable to loving life:


17. Read

I love reading.

We live and die by stories. My life has changed several times by reading a book.

The stories you read have a profound effect on how you view the world. You can be stuck on a problem, and the solution can pop into your mind while you’re reading.

Your mind does not work sequentially. You can be reading something, then something goes click, and your life changes forever.

And as you’re reading these very words, it causes you to think, doesn’t it?

In order for you to make sense out of the funny letters you see here, you have to go inside, and make sense out of it from your own map of the world.

Do What You LoveChange is inevitable. It’s all about in what direction you’re changing.

If you’re looking for something to read, you might want to check out my books: Find Your Passion: 25 Questions You Must Ask Yourself and Do What You Love: Essays on Uncovering Your Path in Life.

Just a friendly suggestion ;)

18. Befriend the Unknown

You never know what you need. Remember point #15, going with the flow?

When you’re open to the unknown, which is a synonym for possibility, you accept that life may bring you something negative to teach you a positive lesson.

I had some horrible days when I played poker. It can murder you psychologically, especially if you’re playing it for a living like I was.

At one point I was looking up at the sky and asking “Why?”

I’m not religious. But it helped me realize what’s truly important in life. It isn’t money, or material wealth, although those things can be nice.

You just never know what life will bring, so you might as well become curious.

How will the seemingly negative turn to positive in your life? What are you learning?

19. Reclaim Your Personal Power

Stop looking to others for approval. Just like taking responsibility (#9), you have to reclaim your personal power.

You know what to do. You can feel it. You just haven’t been listening to that inner voice until now.

It’s easy to give the decision to someone else, but it’s your life. The sooner you realize that, the more fun you will have.

What do you want to do right now?

If you don’t know, then start somewhere, because action will bring clarity.

20. Accept Failure

You will make mistakes.

And you won’t even know if they are mistakes when you make them, because mistakes and failures have a tendency to transform into blessings.

You only fail if you give up, so if you never give up, you can never fail, only learn, and grow.

21. Remember Who You Are

And above all, remember that you are always more than you think you are.

You are more than your problems, more than your fears, and more than your body.

I learned this from an excellent NLP trainer called John Overdurf.

It’s only when you focus on your problems and believe them to be you that you get into trouble.

So, remember to relax, because life is way too important to take seriously ;)

Enjoy your day!
Henri

Photo Credit

Get the FREE Ebook and Discover:

  • How to turn your passion into a lifestyle business
  • The two ways to find your profitable passion
  • The biggest mistake you can make (and how to avoid it)
  • And so much more!

Comments

  1. Hey Henri,

    I wanted to comment on your point of enjoying the process.

    I was thinking about this just yesterday.

    The process (no matter what it may be) cannot be avoided and will always be there. Every single thing we do is a process in one way or another.

    There are no short cuts to the process. What’s really awesome is that if you’re diligently following the process, you’ll almost automatically pick up on many of your points such as patients, accepting failure, focus, flow, excuses, and all that. It’s really cool!

    The process can and will suck every now and then, especially when it comes to building an online business. In the beginning, you’ll run into countless road blocks, fail more than you succeed, have more downs than ups, and frustration and stress can be overwhelming.

    Then as time goes on, you stick with it long enough….you begin to realize that all of those road blocks and failures were necessary. You wouldn’t have learned the critical lessons you did had you achieved everything you wanted within your first week or month. Your appreciation wouldn’t be nearly as strong.

    You truly do learn a lot about yourself.

    Great post as usual Henri :)

  2. A good collection of points that might not be new to many of us, but that we sometimes just need to read all together to make something click. I’m sure a lot of people will feel better after reading this article, and ready to take the next step.

  3. Hi Henri, great post. A good summary of the self-development gurus’ philosophies, and well stated, with your usual relaxed style. The points on accepting where you are in life, and being realistic in allowing time for your business to grow really resonated with me. I have shared this with my womenswaytowealth group and hope it will inspire others. Thanks

  4. Hi, Henri! Thank you for the timely reminders. Reading this, I am reminded that one of the things I admire about what you’ve done with your blog is your honesty, next your introspection and third how you are willing to share your journey with those who read your blog. It’s been really helpful to me in staying positive about where I’m going even if I feel far, far away from where I want to be! :-)

    • Hey Meg!

      Thanks for the kind words.

      And you know, when you feel far away from where you want to be, doesn’t that just mean that you hold high standards for yourself?

      I don’t know about you, but that’s a good thing in my world, even though it may feel like you’re far from the destination right now.

      Keep rocking! ;)

  5. Hi Henri,
    That a very thought provoking blog. I went through and assessed my progress item by item. An excellent exercise. It highlighted areas that needed to be examined in depth and worked on. Thanks so much.
    Riley

  6. Great list!

    Your point – 2 Take quantum leaps – really fascinates me. I know it is true, but I could not find any clue to foresee these sudden shifts of reality. Sometimes it even difficult to say when the shift truly has happened. I only know when it has happened after it happened.

    Thanks for sharing!

  7. Hi Henri:
    Thanks for this post. I’m glad I had the patience to wait for it and then to read it all the way through (point #4).
    I heard a nice idea once about #9 Take Responsibility: it may true that your mother (insert any other relationship) made you what you are today, but you are the one keeping you there.
    Shlomo

  8. Hi Henri,
    I just signed up to receive your articles via e-mail. I have to say they have re-inspired me and helped me to get out of my “I’m so not appreciating the process of life right now” thoughts. : ) Thank-you so much for sharing!

  9. Pawan Purohit says:

    Hi,
    I just read this. It’s really good. I felt very positive by reading your post. You know, I can’t speak english. I set for me a time period that within this time period (one month) I will learn. I learnt one and two days very curiously.. Now I stopped learning english. I want to be a big person.. Everytime within a second I get positive and within a second I get negative. Can’t control on my mind. Well thanks for your good post.
    Pawan Purohit

  10. Glynis Jolly says:

    I like what you wrote about what you call Quantum leaps. I guess some think that you can just keep on going the way you are without any change and get what you want. Sometimes you just have to have faith in fate.

  11. Archan Mehta says:

    Henri,

    The key is to persevere despite odds. Even if you fall down, pick yourself up and get back in the game. Setbacks will come and go, but it is how you deal with roadblocks that counts. It can be a true test of character to look at problems as opportunities for personal growth and professional development. Thank you for a brilliant post, as usual, and this timely reminder. Cheers.

  12. Carolyn Saulpaw says:

    I have reread this post about 5 times now. I really love it. Funny thing is I just wrote an article called “How to Flow” on my site. Your style is so honest and powerful. I love your site Henri.
    Thanks,
    Carolyn

  13. I love this list! These are wonderful things for everyone to keep in mind. Thanks for the post!

  14. Amazing!I am so glad I stumbled on your site.I would like to see that list of books you read. =)

  15. Very well written. Precise and to the point. Wish you luck in everything.

  16. Usually I like short blog posts to keep me perked up through the day, but I found myself continuing to read your post through its entirety. Everything you said was relevant, no fluff. Thank you for taking the time to share all your thoughts-most helpful!

  17. “You are the director of your mind”. Perfectly put.

  18. If there were more Henri Junttilas in this world, it would be a far, far better place.

  19. I would add: accept that some change takes time. Be willing to put in the work, make a solid plan, and stick to it long enough to see results.

  20. I love your work/inspiration Henri. I like that you have a philosophy that helps us to keep the balance between work and having a personal happy life! Thank you!

  21. Sebastian Aiden Daniels says:

    This is a fantastic list. Taking baby steps is so important. I use to expect instant success and when it didn’t come, it was like a sledge hammer to the face. I learned though and grew immensely from the experience and understand that you just need to take things one day at a time.

    Accepting failure has also been important. The things I have failed at have actually taught me more about myself than the things I have succeeded at. It is an important lesson to embrace failure as part of the learning process.

  22. Hi Henry, what a great article! I need to keep this one handy because there are so many great reminders in there…I’m on the edge of starting something new, a new direction, and when I look at others that are doing the same thing I’m comparing and making myself too scared to take that next step because I’m at the very beginning and have no idea what I’m doing! So, I’m gonna STOP comparing and take a baby step, and another baby step, and another…and if it takes 12 months that’s fine, if it takes 2years that’s fine too…but I’ll be going in the right direction instead of staying where I am and miserable!

    I’d also like to comment on the changes I now see in you :-). I’ve been following you for a couple of years now, and when I look at your videos and the quality of what you are presenting, I can see how far YOU have come – you’re a role model for us all – thank you Henry and keep up the great work!

    • Hey Paula,

      It’s been great having you as a reader all these years.

      In the end, it takes the time it takes. That has been one of my big realizations. I can only do my thing, and follow my heart, and the rest is out of my hands.

      Thanks again Paula!

  23. This is such a lovely blog post. So many valid points for me! Especially the baby steps. I tend to set a goal so huge that I try and leap to it and fall at the first hurdle. Now I am learning to chunk it down into little steps so that each day I inch closer. It is do-able, acheivable and far less stressful that way. Thank you for your words of great wisdom Henri

Speak Your Mind

*

Here's How You Can Turn Your Passion into a Thriving Business

Sign-up to the FREE Wake Up Cloud newsletter, and grab my special report (MP3 audio included), where you'll learn:

  • How to discover your passion in 10 minutes or less, even if you haven't had any luck in the past
  • Why just "following your passion doesn't work (and what does)
  • How your fears trick you into submission, which keeps you stuck, frustrated and unhappy (and a simple mindset tweak that will set you free)
  • How to figure out exactly what people want (so you can make a living doing what you love)

Simply put in your email below, and we'll get started.