Wake Up Cloud » Life

When You Feel Like Giving Up

Henri — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:41:59 +0000

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I’m not good enough.

I don’t know what to do.

Everything feels overwhelming, and I’m ready to give up.

That’s what I’ve been feeling these last few days, and I know you can relate, because every human being on this planet goes through these periods of agony.

It doesn’t matter how successful you are. Success doesn’t give you immunity from humanity.

During periods like these, I want to catapult myself into bed and hide under my sheets. And it doesn’t help that the sheets smell nice and are fluffy.

One of the problems today is that people aren’t honest enough. They have no problem telling you how much money they’ve made, but when it comes to feeling like a failure, they keep their lips tight and their fingers in their pockets.

It makes it all seem like you shouldn’t feel the way you do. But the truth is that whatever you’re going through is normal.

I’ve come a long way since I started actively going after what I wanted at the age of 16, but I still have days where I wish things were easier—a lot easier.

Why Does This Happen?

I wish I knew why these periods of agony occur, but I don’t.

All I know is that they do. They almost seem like periods of cleansing, because when they are over, I feel clearer and more inspired.

It’s only when I try to fight what’s here that days can expand into weeks, but I rarely do that anymore, so I’m often through the woods in a few days.

We don’t need to know why. We just need to know how to deal with it effectively, so it doesn’t ruin our lives.

Many fellow passion seekers have thrown in the towel because they’ve misinterpreted their thoughts and feelings.

Your Thoughts, or Just Thoughts?

When I’m in the midst of the despair, I’ve learned to notice how chaotic my thoughts are.

The more I identify with my thoughts, the more I suffer.

What I’ve experienced more and more is that we are not our thoughts.

Sure, thoughts and feelings happen, but we do not have to get caught up in them.

You can check this out for yourself. Notice the thoughts that are here right now, and also notice that you are the presence which is aware of the thoughts, you are not the thoughts themselves.

Thoughts could not exist without you.

Thoughts have no power unless you focus on them. I’m not saying that you should ignore your thoughts, just that you can be more aware of what you pay attention to, and that you don’t have to get sucked up in the drama.

Just having an intellectual understanding of this won’t help you, because those are just more thoughts. What will help is when you experience it for yourself. The easiest way to do that is to be intensely present and intimate with the present moment.

Yes, even when you feel horrible, especially when you feel horrible.

This topic has been fascinating me to no end lately, so I could go on, but I’ll leave it clean and simple for now.

The Solution to the Despair

In the past, I’ve dealt with these kind of days by trying to push through them. I’ve tried forcing my way to success, whether I liked it or not.

I never even considered that I could take a break.

When I feel like giving up, I’m not productive, and I don’t make good decisions. Whatever I do just breeds more of the same.

What you do during these breaks is up to you, as long as it’s something you enjoy. I watched movies, meditated, read, and listened to some Sedona Method audio programs.

I’ve been exploring the Sedona Method a lot lately, and so far I really like it. I love diving into the world of personal development and discovering what works.

In essence, my solution is simple: I take a break, and let myself experience whatever is going on inside.

I surrender to my thoughts and feelings. Instead of trying to resist and fight them, I welcome them, and let them be as they are.

I’ve noticed that the way I feel becomes a problem when I want to change it, because that’s where the fight begins.

The way most people deal with negative feelings is by running away to food, sex, TV, drugs, alcohol, video games, or whatever your favorite thing happens to be.

I am no different, but I’m getting better at staying here and now (as if I could ever leave the now).

Life happens the way it happens. I went through a rough few days, but I’m feeling inspired and ready to take action now.

I know that these kind of days happen from time to time, so I don’t try to avoid them. Instead, I embrace them with open arms and do my best to be with them.

The ride is much smoother that way, and often what I’ve labeled as negative emotions bring lessons and gifts with them.

All I have to do is be open to them.

Not always easy, but always worth it.

What to Do When You’re Scared Out of Your Mind

Henri — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 10:11:22 +0000

When you think about going after your dreams, following your passion, and doing something you love, does it scare you?

If you’re anything like me, it scares you, a lot.

And it really freaks you out if you’re going after something that has meaning for you.

You’re afraid of failure, but what you may not realize is that if you don’t take action, you’ve already failed.

When you take action, at least you give yourself a fighting chance.

And always remember, you can’t fail if you never give up. Each mistake, each failure, and each setback makes you wiser.

Why You’re Scared (And Why It’s Good)

There are many reasons why you’re scared when it comes to going after what you want.

Here are just a few that I’ve experienced:

What will people think?
What if I fail?
What if I’m not good enough?
Where do I even begin?
What if it takes too long?

The interesting part about our fears is that they are learned behaviors, like I mentioned briefly in my article: Do You Need Talent, Money, And Connections to Make Your Dreams a Reality?

For me, this has become more apparent than ever in the last year, as I’ve worked intensively on myself and with coaching clients.

To become afraid, you have to do it in a certain way.

If you’re afraid of failure, you make internal representations (pictures or sounds) of you failing horribly and everything going down the drain.

If this sequence is disrupted, everything changes. It’s like cooking, if you mess with the ingredients, the end result changes, and it doesn’t taste the same.

This means is that you have control, because if you’re making yourself afraid, you can make yourself unafraid.

3 Quick Tips for Dealing with the Fear

With all that said, let’s bring this all down to earth and look at what you can do.

I use the below tips in my own life, and they work beautifully for me. Take whatever resonates with you.

Many claim that nothing works for them, but what I’ve found is that they aren’t willing to try. They aren’t willing to take action. They love their “stuff” too much to let go and grow.

1. Write

When you try to think through your problems, you end up in thought loops, which is why I recommend you write everything down.

Take a blank sheet of paper (or open your favorite word processor) and let everything out. And by everything, I mean everything.

Write down every petty thought, complaint, and excuse that pops out. The purpose of this is to clear your mind.

When I do this for 30 minutes, my mind becomes clear, and new ways of seeing things emerge.

2. Release

If you want to truly make changes in your life, learn healing modalities like EFT or NLP. I especially recommend the YouTube channel for FasterEFT. It’s weird, but it works.

I often tell people exactly what they can do to let go of old emotions, but they want a quick-fix and they aren’t ready to hear it. Are you?

The truth of the matter is that you can change, even if you believe you can’t. You can feel better. I know, because I have done it, and I have helped others do it as well.

3. Work

Last, but definitely not least is to work with someone. It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as you trust them, and they know how to help.

There are many healing modalities available. Try as many as you can and see which one works for you.

We don’t receive the user’s manual for the brain when we’re in school, so we have to figure it out for ourselves. The sad part is that most people don’t, and they believe that what they think, feel, and do is unchangeable.

But it can be changed.

Step Into Your Future

Imagine for a second that it’s 20 years from now, and you look back at your life. What you’ll notice is that it’s not the fears that you remember, but what actions you took.

You don’t even remember other people’s opinions, because you only remember what is important.

Are you going to let your obstacles hold you back, or are you going to take action?

The fact is that you don’t know what will happen. You don’t know what your failures, mistakes, and setbacks will teach you in the long-run.

I’ve discovered that the worst moments in my life were my greatest teachers, and they made me who I am today.

Life isn’t easy, but you always have the power to decide how you will deal with it.

If you let your fears control your life, it will lead to settling for less, and when you settle for less, you will be miserable, because deep inside you know that you are so much more than your fears.

That is what you should really be scared about.

But you don’t have to go through all that. You can make the decision to take action right now.

Image by Lali

Do You Need Talent, Money, And Connections to Build Your Own Business?

Henri — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 13:17:12 +0000

Do you sometimes wish you could forget about your dreams of building your own business and living the life of your dreams?

Does it seem easier to forget it all rather than to dive into the unknown?

There are people all around us living location independent lives and doing work they love.

For a long time, I looked around and I wondered why the grass always looked greener on the other side. A common mistake people make until they realize that it’s not true.

This perspective kept me caged for years. I didn’t feel good about myself, because there was always someone better than me. But was there really, or did my thinking make it so?

I often feel, even to this day, that I don’t have enough connections, talent, or money. But I’ve become aware of the fact that it doesn’t really matter.

Now, why do I say that?

Let’s stop and think about it for a moment, shall we?

What happens when you think that you don’t have what you need to build an online business around your passions?

You feel helpless and hopeless.

And you still want to build a business, right?

… So basically your main options are to feel bad, or take action anyway and figure the rest out as you go along.

I opted for the latter road, and it worked. I don’t focus on influential connections, talent, or money, and I do just fine.

This doesn’t mean I don’t make influential connections, it just means I don’t try to force them.

If I stop and let my fears take over, I know that I’ll regret it, so I don’t.

But I didn’t always have this courage to move forward. I was once a beginner and I still feel like one from time to time.

It’s not about perfection, it’s about progress.

Why Do You Think You Need Talent, Money, And Connections?

When I grew up, the people around me kept putting down successful people.

I was told that the rich and successful were lucky, had talent, connections, or a lot of money. At a young age, it seemed like I could never become truly successful, because I didn’t have any of those things, or I thought I didn’t.

People told me that it was okay to settle for mediocrity, because not everyone could have what they wanted. I believed that for a long time.

You have to be careful with what you take in, because people will try to hypnotize you all day long without even knowing about it.

They have good intentions, but they are not aware of the damage they are doing. Their truth is often a distortion of reality and may not even apply to you.

For example, where did you pick up the fact that you need something you don’t have in order to do what you want?

Think about it for a second. How have you been perceiving this to be true?

Haven’t you seen people succeed without talent, money, and connections? I’m sure you have, yet something funny happens when you have a belief like this, you delete everything that doesn’t fit.

If you want to build a business and live a passionate life, you can. I’m here to tell you (and show you) that it is possible.

All you have to do is decide to take action and ignore the naysayers (that includes saying no to your own excuses).

If someone tells you that you can’t succeed, they’re lying, because they don’t have a crystal ball.

If they do, tell them Henri wants one, okay?

How to Build a Business Around Your Passions

I’ve never liked making connections just for the sake of having connections, nor do I think I ever will. Hanging out with like-minded people is another matter altogether.

I used to like hoarding money, and I’m still scared that the well will run dry, but I’m more relaxed. So what if it runs out? If it does, I’ll deal with it then.

In the meanwhile, I’m going to focus on making my lifestyle business better and enjoying life as much as possible.

I think everyone is (or can become) talented at what they feel pulled to do. It doesn’t have to be something you’re already good at.

For example, I’ve always loved writing, but I’ve never dedicated a lot of time to it until the past few years. When I built my first few websites half a decade ago, I wasn’t good, but I got better.

Hell, English isn’t even my native language, yet I enjoy writing in English more than Swedish, Finnish, or even Spanish.

Progress happens step-by-step. Sometimes you’ll ride a wave, and sometimes you’ll end up in the water.

It’s not about making progress and reaching milestones, although those are certainly nice, it’s about learning to do something you love and knowing that you will get there one step at a time.

Why does anyone want to do work they love? To me, it’s because I want to feel good, happy, excited, and love life.

Why else?

Take action and let the rest take care of itself, because the only person you can control is you, then it’s up to the rest of the world to do what they do.

Your Choice: Succumb to Your Fears or Take Action

At this point, you have plenty of choices.

You can either let your made up excuses stop you from doing what you love, which makes no sense to me, but I understand it.

Or you can say “I’ve had enough,” and take action right now.

I don’t care what you have to do, as long as you do something. It’s not going to be perfect, and it might not even be brilliant.

And it doesn’t matter, because when you take action, you will feel empowered.

As you sit there reading this, thinking about what I’ve said, you’ve probably started noticing that you can change your life and mold it to your liking.

Even if you aren’t completely certain about it, yet, you can begin to imagine what it would look like, and that means it is possible.

You’ve probably tried to figure this out, but not been successful. It’s not all that easy. However, you have the answer within you, and you know it.

Do You Know the Simple Truth?

The truth is that you don’t suck at this. It’s that you’ve been very good at putting yourself down and not taking action.

Human beings are learning machines. We work perfectly. We aren’t broken. However, many of us have learned to do things in a backwards way, which is why you feel the pull to change things.

What I do is I focus on what I enjoy.

I like writing blog posts, so I write blog posts. I don’t enjoy writing sales pages for others, so I don’t, even if I think I can make money at it. I know that I wouldn’t be happy doing that.

This is a process. And it takes more time than you think, but less than you fear.

Time isn’t the problem, it’s the fact that you want to feel comfortable and safe. And that is something you will have to deal with as you get started.

A part of you knows you will get there, and that parts wants to pull you forward.

But you’ve also had a part that has tried to keep you stuck. You know there is something better for you out there.

You feel it, don’t you?

Even if you don’t feel it right this moment, you’ll become aware of it soon, because it resides within each of us.

If you don’t have a successful business yet, that’s good, because it means you can learn. You’ve learned how to not take action, so you can learn how to take action.

You’ve learned how to feel bad, so you can learn how to feel good.

How fast you can build your business is not the goal, the goal is experiencing everything fully and learning as you go.

You don’t need talent, money, or connections, you just need to start.

Photo by Lali

Why Your Passion Isn’t Happening (And Why It Probably Never Will)

Henri — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 13:56:40 +0000

Do you want to turn your passions into an advice-based online business, but something stops you?

Are you waiting for the perfect opportunity, or just a boost of courage that will get you going?

If you’re waiting for anything at all, you will be waiting a long, long time.

When you go after what you love, you will be scared. The more meaningful the work is for you, the more afraid you will be.

You don’t want to mess up, but you’re already messing it up by not starting.

Several years before I started Wake Up Cloud, I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn’t have guts to go after it.

Nothing really changed during the years that passed, except that I got sick and tired of waiting, and I decided to take action despite all my fears, excuses, and worries.

And that is what you will have to do if you want to create a business that frees you from the chains of 9-to-5.

Are You Afraid to Share Your Real Story?

I’ve received several emails where readers ask me how they can stand out with their website or blog.

The answer is simple: share your story. And by sharing I mean sharing everything that is relevant to your audience.

I constantly share my story of how I’ve built online businesses, how I’m improving what’s already working, how I’m getting over fears, worries, and anxieties. These stories are relevant to you.

They help you move forward, but also relate to me as a human being.

I don’t write about what I ate for breakfast, because it isn’t helpful.

Sharing your failures, mistakes, and fears is scary, but it is what people want to hear. They want both sides of the coin. You aren’t perfect, and they know that.

Give them honesty. Share what’s really going on.

I’m not perfect, and I share that with you. I make mistakes, and I struggle. I don’t always know where I should go, but I do my best, I take action, and I get results.

You may find websites online that cover the same topic you want to write about, but it doesn’t matter, because you have your own story to share.

If you’ve read my free report, you know that just sharing your story isn’t enough if you want to build a real business, but it is a start.

As long as you are honest, people will gravitate to you.

If you try to hide, so will your visitors.

Are You Afraid of Taking Action?

Your isn’t happening because you aren’t taking action.

You have to move in some direction, any direction. You don’t necessarily have to know where you are going, you just have to start.

There have been plenty of times where I’ve been confused about what to do with my online businesses, but I’ve done something, and I’ve moved forward.

I look at what I can do right now. I don’t try to create impossible projects. I look at what I enjoy, what I can do, and what is available to me.

And yes, I’m still afraid.

I don’t have all the answers, but I am willing to experiment. Creating an online business is still a fairly new venture in the world. There is no set formulas for success. But there are solid guidelines you can follow.

Take one small step at a time. Avoid the trap of overwhelming yourself with huge projects. There is nothing remarkable about moving forward, yet there is.

The simplest action you can take is often the most powerful.

Are You Looking for a Shortcut?

Let’s face it, you and I, we both want a quick-fix. It feels easier and more comfortable.

There’s a reason why sales pages that promise quick profits are so successful. They target your inner desire to get something for nothing.

But the truth is that there is no magic bullet. The only guarantee you have is you. When you stop looking for the “perfect system,” you reclaim responsibility.

It’s not the tools that make you successful; it’s the person using them.

Stop blaming your progress on something outside of you. If you do that, you give your power away. The power is and has always been within you, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can take action with confidence.

You can blog, podcast, create videos, or even freelance. Whatever your passion is, go after it with a vengeance.

Haven’t you had enough of waiting?

Do you feel the impatience building up inside of you?

Your passion hides in plain sight, but you aren’t willing to face it, because you don’ think you have anything to contribute, but you do, and that is your biggest fear.

It is not the fear of failure, but the fear of success that most bothers us.

What if you succeed beyond your wildest imaginations? What then?

Stop putting up with your own excuses, and take action today.

One More Thing … You’re Easily Distracted

Have you been jumping from program to program?

I know I did when I started out. I jumped on one course, excited, and ready to go. When my motivation waned, I looked for something else, and the cycle continued until I realized what was going on.

Does this sound familiar?

I now use my awareness to assess whether or not I need the course, and if I have time for it.

When I have a goal, I know where I am going. I may be confused about how to get there, but I know when I see something that I don’t need.

More often than not, you don’t need to buy another course.

I know that’s funny coming from me, someone who sells courses and training, but I’m being honest. A good course can make all the difference in the world, but not if you’re buying it for the wrong reasons.

Decide what you want, go after it, and avoid distractions.

Focus.

The Bottom Line

Your passion isn’t happening because you’re standing in your own way.

It’s right there in front of you, but you refuse to grab it.

You can find and follow your passion if you want to. Everyone has different life circumstances, and we all have to deal with them in our own way.

There are no excuses, only actions.

Where are your actions taking you?

The power lies in your hands.

Use it.

Photo by Jes

5 Secrets to a Problem-Free Life

Henri — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 10:49:31 +0000

I once saw a world full of problems.

It filled me with dread, and I wanted to escape.

Anything that could give me relief was good enough.

Since then, things have changed. I still have a life full of problems, but I no longer view them as such.

I don’t run away from problems. I accept them as a constant, like the air I breathe. At times it seems as if I’m living a problem-free life, because I’ve put on a new set of mental sunglasses.

It’s not about avoiding problems. That has never been the goal. It’s about learning to handle problems, obstacles, and challenges with ease.

Problems aren’t causing you trouble; you are using problems to cause yourself trouble.

A problem for you may not be a problem for your best friend. And a problem you had a year ago may not be a problem any longer, even if it is still present.

In 2004, I was 18. I was comfortable. I had money, but I didn’t have peace. Happiness was out of sight. I thought money would provide happiness, but it didn’t.

As time went on, I became frustrated with the endless search for happiness. People all around me were looking, but they weren’t happy.

I became frustrated, then impatient, and then curious. Why were some people happy, while others wallowed in their own misery?

Some were happy with little, while others were miserable with a lot. It tickled my brain, and I wanted to scratch that itch.

1. Perspective

One of the first “secrets” to a problem-free life is adopting a new perspective. Problems do not need to be eliminated from your life, only from your mind.

When I began letting go of problems, more problems took their place. It was as futile as trying to shoo the air out of a room.

So, I stopped resisting problems. I’m still human, so I do resist from time to time, and I suffer for it.

I view problems as signposts. They point to something to be learned.

I’m not talking about avoiding problems, I’m talking about accepting them, and dealing with them.

The focus is on eliminating the mental turmoil that most people experience when they have problems. They make them bigger than they seem.

Like Stephen Heller Ph.D says in his book, Monsters and Magical Sticks: There is No Such Thing As Hypnosis: “Fear is for getting confidence.”

Fear is merely a reminder to get confident in a specific area in your life.

2. Attitude

I knew about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) when I was 18. I attended a 7-day NLP Practitioner Training when I was 20.

I had the tools for quick, dramatic change. I could eliminate problems, phobias, and fears, but I never used the tools I had.

I believed they didn’t work, so they didn’t.

I proved myself right, and allowed myself to be a victim of circumstance.

I suffered for it.

It took me a few years to reclaim responsibility. I knew I was at cause, but it wasn’t until recently that something clicked.

Earlier this year, three big “problems” occurred simultaneously. They caused me immense suffering. I spent several weeks lying in bed, trying to avoid it all, and mentally “figuring it out.”

I suffered for it.

Eventually I awoke to the fact that I knew how to be at peace.

I started using what I knew, and I started learning even more. I used NLP, EFT, Hypnotherapy, and meditation to my advantage.

The three problems went away almost as quickly as I took responsibility. These problems helped me move in the right direction.

I had been coasting in confusion up until that point.

3. Using Your Brain for a Change

In the book, Get the Life You Want, Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP, talks about how our minds work and how you can make changes.

Your mind is like a highly sophisticated computer. You know how to be depressed, lonely, frustrated, happy, curious, and even inspired.

You’ve learned how to feel all of those different states, and each one of them requires a set of skills.

If someone is depressed, they are excellent at dismissing happy thoughts and focusing on the negative.

It’s a skill.

If you don’t sit in the driver’s seat of your life, someone else will do it for you, and you may not like where they take you.

With NLP, I learned how to change the patterns and programs inside of myself. I could take a painful memory, play it backwards, put in circus music, and change it.

It was like scratching a CD. Once it’s scratched, it just won’t run right again. I used to take my “problems” seriously, but now I know better.

4. Letting Go of the Old

Painful memories are a dime a dozen. Everyone has them.

Once I learned to use tools like EFT and NLP, I was able to release the emotional charge of my negative memories, and I even turn them into positive ones, if I so wished.

Our memories are plastic, which means that they are changing all the time. Memories aren’t rigid, inflexible things. They are constantly recreated. Each time you re-member something, you re-create it.

That is why as you learn and grow, some things stop bothering you. When you go back and re-member, it has changed, because you have changed.

Imagine how you would feel without all the baggage you’re carrying around from the past? All the hurts, abuses, traumas, and regrets just poof, gone.

It can be done.

Will it be easy? For some, not for others, but it’s all good.

It’s funny how we can get a 60-page instruction manual for a $19.95 watch, but no user’s manual for the brain.

5. Dealing With the New

I will always have problems.

But do they have to cause suffering? That is up to me.

I don’t have to lie awake at night worrying and turning in bed, unless I choose to do so. Sometimes it may seem like you have no choice, because your problems seem so big, but you always do.

And remember, the choice of not learning how to take control of your mind is still a choice. There is no way for you to blame someone else.

As you take more responsibility, you will start to get a taste of what I call “the problem-free life.”

It’s not a magical place. Nothing changes, except you.

People look for magic pills, quick fixes, and strange concoctions, but they do not exist, unless you create them.

The truth is so anti-climactic that no one tells you about it, because it cannot be sold in a bottle.

Living a problem-free life begins within you. There is nothing you need to do except make the decision.

The red pill, or the blue pill.

The choice is yours.

Image by Bryce

How I Found My Passion (And How You Can Find Yours)

Henri — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 11:38:53 +0000

There was a point in time where I didn’t know that I wanted to do what I do now.

I was playing poker and making money.

It was how I made my living, and I was happy doing that for a long time.

Until one day I felt like something was missing. It was a dull, empty feeling. There was no longer any satisfaction in what I did.

I was making money, but that was about it.

So in 2006, I began looking for other options. At the time I was into golf. I started playing when I was 9, and I was pretty good at it.

“Why not make a website about golf and make money that way,” I thought.

I paid someone to do keyword research for me, create my website, and get everything up and running.

What I didn’t realize was that I actually had to put in work to succeed. I never did that, and I let the website expire.

There was no fuel in my tank to keep going. I wanted the silver bullet, the quick fix, and I believed it could be found.

After that, I looked for opportunities around the web. I was trying to force success and passion. It didn’t come. I ended up spending thousands on get rich quick programs and other products that I thought would give me instant success.

I bought products ranging from blogging to financial instruments. I never used most of them, because I was looking for a quick fix.

I had forgotten why I was trying to succeed online.

I began my journey trying to find something to satisfy my soul, but instead fell into the trap of prioritizing money.

I thought that if I made enough money, I would be safe, and I could do what I wanted.

Oh, how wrong I was.

But the Story Gets Better …

I built my first website when I was 14. I started trying to make money online in 2006-2007. I’ve spent over $10,000 on coaching, courses, and every other product between heaven and earth.

As I failed over and over again, I eventually stumbled upon the blueprint for my online success.

I say stumbled, but what I really mean is that I kept going until I found what worked.

During this time, my passion was in the back of my mind. I believed it was a pipe dream, so I threw it aside, and kept going.

I have always been fascinated by the human mind and personal development. And I had thoughts about writing something on those topics … some day.

As I kept gaining momentum and becoming more successful, I kept pushing those dreams to the side.

I needed more money to do what I loved, or so I thought.

I had learned that money didn’t bring happiness while playing poker, but I had to learn that lesson a second time.

Deep down I wanted to focus on personal growth. I didn’t know exactly what topics I wanted to cover, but there was something there.

It resonated with me.

I kept telling myself that if I made enough money, I could follow my passion. After a while I got disgusted with my own excuses.

Enough was enough.

I was going to do what I loved, with or without fear.

I didn’t know at this point that fear was to be expected when you’re following your passion. All I knew was that I wanted this more than anything else.

I was determined, but I wasn’t out of the woods yet.

Progress, But Not Really

Deep down I knew what my passion was, but I tried to distract myself with what was “safe and secure.” I was too afraid to even look in the right direction.

It wasn’t until early 2009 that I started sketching what I might want to write about. I bumped into the blogging community, and it drew me in, like a pleasant version of quicksand.

I liked it. It felt right.

At first I was going to call my website, The Holistic Highway, and it was going to be about health, personal development, and online business.

Then I stopped.

I gave up.

I didn’t believe I could contribute anything. I mean, there were so many great bloggers, and writers out there that clearly were far better than me, so why bother?

Overwhelm and Confusion

At this point I went into a cloud of overwhelm and confusion. Once again, I distracted myself by working on other online projects.

I focused on making money, because it felt safe and it made sense. I was building websites around topics I enjoyed, so I was happy for a while. I was, at least, moving in the right direction.

Then at the end of 2009, I started feeling a nudge from deep inside. It was like an internal GPS coming online.

“Turn right now. Proceed forward. Read this book. Take this step,” it communicated.

I didn’t hear it guiding me. It was more of a feeling. Some things felt right, while others didn’t. Sometimes I did the wrong things, and sometimes I didn’t.

Thoughts and excuses came up, but I kept doing what felt right.

It was a puzzle to be solved. I did my best, and I moved forward.

I was overwhelmed and confused, because I didn’t know how, where, or when to start. But there was always that little voice inside of me that knew where to go.

Finally, I just went for it (again).

I had no idea if there was an audience out there waiting for me, but I wasn’t going to let my own fears stop me.

I was going to find out for myself. For so long, I had been looking for guarantees.

I quickly realized that there were none. I was my personal guarantee.

I was the key to my own success, not an outside force.

It wasn’t until I became truly determined, and was willing to take risks that I saw the truth.

As I look back, I do see a method to my madness. There is a strategy we can follow to build an advice-based business around our passions.

But I didn’t know that at the time, so I had to spend years stumbling in the dark.

Stepping Into the Clearing

I started Wake Up Cloud (this blog) in December ’09, and a new chapter in my life began.

I joined a training course on blogging, but I had no idea of what I was doing. Nonetheless, the road ahead of me was becoming clearer, and my internal GPS was becoming stronger.

All the mistakes I had made since 2006 started to turn into positive lessons. Everything I learned during those dark times was helping me succeed.

I wasn’t fearless. I wasn’t talented. I simply took one step at a time, and took action despite my fears.

After a few months, I created my first product, and I made my first thousand selling the knowledge I had accumulated.

To me, it’s not about making millions, because you will never feel like you have enough. If you can’t be happy with $30,000/year, you won’t be happy with $200,000/year.

It’s a mindset.

It’s all about doing what you love, and having enough money to live life to the fullest.

It’s about lifestyle.

If You Want to Succeed, Work Hard

It may not happen in a second. It may take years, just like it took me, but in the end it is worth it.

I am still confused from time to time, and that’s okay. I’m constantly learning to trust my internal GPS more.

Life flows more easily the more I trust it.

And it all started from a big pile of failures, or at least they seemed like failures at the time.

I always knew what my passion was, and you might, too. It was in front of me all this time, but I refused to see it, because I was looking for something else.

I had my blinders on, and I thought I knew what I wanted, but I was wrong.

I had my excuses along the way. I was afraid, confused, and overwhelmed. It stopped me for years, but I always kept coming back.

And that’s what matters.

If at first you don’t succeed, keep going, because the only way you can fail is by giving up.

Image by Ibrahim

Why You Should Never Get A Job

Henri — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 12:38:42 +0000

It’s 7AM.

I drag my 16-year old self out of bed.

I get dressed, and make myself two slices of toast with a glass of orange juice, because I’ve never been big on breakfast.

I think about the day ahead of me while staring out the kitchen window of my parents’ house.

A day full of mowing lawns, picking up trash, and making gardens look green and clean.

It’s my first job, and no amount of money is worth what I’m going through. It’s not the job, but the feeling that I’m heading down the wrong path.

This is not for me.

With each day, the feeling of dread grows inside of me.

“It’s only two weeks. The job’s only two weeks, then you’re free,” I told myself.

But deep down I knew that I had to make a decision. This job was going to end. It was only two weeks during the summer, but what would happen after that?

Would I go on to study at the university and get another job?

A job that would look better on paper and have different assignments, but ultimately destroy me from the inside out, like a deadly virus.

This is not for me.

There was a little voice inside of me. It was desperately calling for my attention, like a child stuck in a deep, dark well.

The cries had fallen on deaf ears for so long, but something had changed. A switch had been flipped.

There has to be something better.

That was when it all started.

I didn’t know it at the time, but it was at that summer job that a flame inside of me was born and my life changed forever.

From Idea to Action

Time flew past, like it always does, and the next summer was upon me.

This time, I had scored another job: one that paid more. I was going to wash and clean boxes inside of an old warehouse, where boxes, tools, and metallic objects where stacked to the ceiling.

After each day, it was as if I aged 40 years. It didn’t just show in my hands, but also in my spirit. I felt old after each day.

One day, while washing box after box, I was chatting with my friend, who told me about a guy he knew who had made $500 playing online poker.

“That’s it,” I thought to myself.

“If he can do it, so can I.”

That was the opportunity I needed. That summer I began studying online poker. I bought books until thirty of them filled my brown, wooden shelf in my small room.

I read, studied, and was active in online forums.

It took me six months of hitting my head against a brick wall before I finally broke through.

At first, it was just a few cents. From there it grew to a few dollars; to a few hundred; to a few thousand, and at that moment I knew.

I knew that other possibilities existed out there.

People told me to get a good education and get a job, but it never felt right.

Now, I had the proof for what I had been feeling all this time.

Just like a child in a candy store, my eyes opened wide, and I stood in awe looking at life and all it had to offer.

The veil had been lifted.

The Challenges

Like any good story, I ran into my first big obstacle not a second later than I started feeling like I was on top of the world, and it felt like a spear had been thrust through my stomach.

It was the fear of what if.

As I began making a living playing online poker, I got scared. I started feeling like I should go to the university anyway.

“What if I fail? It would be smart to get a university degree just in case,” I thought.

Fear had gotten its long, dirty claws in my flesh. I was making life plans out of pure, unadulterated fear.

Not good.

I didn’t yet know that fear would become my constant companion on my quest to living my purpose.

All I knew was that I was scared out of my mind, like a kid is scared of monsters under the bed on a dark, ominous night.

I kept moving forward despite my fear. I gave myself no other choice. I wasn’t going to get a job, so forward was the only direction for me.

I knew I was going to be miserable if I did anything else. I’d rather be afraid than succumb to a life full of regret.

There has been many of these challenges since that time, but those are stories for another time.

The Oppression

As I kept living a very unconventional life, I noticed how oppressive society was.

Most people have no idea that the ideas and beliefs they have are merely figments of their imaginations–stuff they’ve learned.

My friends and family kept urging me to get a job.

“When will you get a job,” they asked me as I was making a living doing what I enjoyed and traveling the world.

Even with the evidence in front of them, they refused to see the obvious.

They could not.

For seeing what I was doing meant that they, too, could do what they wanted, but instead they decided to turn their heads and look the other way.

When you begin to travel your own path, you will come upon people that do this, and you will meet people that condemn you. Not because you are wrong, but because it scares them.

They will do anything from facing their own fears, because when you begin to live your purpose, they will be reminded of how they are not living theirs.

You Don’t Need A Job

Deep inside of you, you know that you don’t need a job.

You’re reading these very words for a reason. There’s something calling you, like it called me, to take that leap of faith into the unknown, and trust.

You keep getting pulled back by fear, and the what ifs. And that’s exactly what should happen, because the closer you get to your true purpose, the more afraid you will be.

You don’t want to screw it up.

But what you aren’t realizing is that the only way you can screw it up is by not starting at all.

You don’t need to heal, be fearless, or have the perfect business plan. You only need the courage to take the first step.

All the excuses you make are your fear trying to stop you, like a little, red devil sitting on your shoulder.

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m not interesting enough.”

“Why would anyone listen to me?”

They all come out of fear, yet they show that you care deeply. You want to make this work.

The jobless path isn’t for everyone, and it might not be for you at this time, but if there’s even a small part of you that is trying to get through, you know what to do.

Will it be scary? Hell yes.

Will you doubt yourself? I hope so, because otherwise you aren’t pushing yourself enough.

Will it be worth it? More than anything else in the world.

Image by Desmond

21 Things You Can Do To Change Your Life Forever

Henri — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 14:11:25 +0000

Last night I had a dream.

It was Christmas Eve. And I was receiving presents.

At that time, all I could think of was “I don’t want these. It’s just more stuff I won’t use.”

Looking back a few years, I can see how much I’ve changed. I almost haven’t noticed the change, because it sneaks up on you, until it’s impossible to ignore.

It’s like when you were a kid. You got taller, but you didn’t notice until you stood up against the wall.

The same holds true for life changes.

You are constantly changing, but it’s hard to notice until it slaps you in the face with a leather glove.

It’s not even a question of if you’re changing. It’s a question of in which direction are you changing.

Most people want change because they want to get away from something. If you’re in this group, know that it doesn’t work.

You can’t run away from yourself. Face your inner demons. Deal with them, and heal yourself.

That is how you can change your life.

Below are the 21 things you can do to change your life. It’s a hefty and spicy read, so grab your beverage of choice and enjoy.

1. Take Small Steps

A baby learns to crawl before it can walk, and it learns to walk before it can run.

Most people expect rapid life changes. If they’re wasting their time at a soul-sucking job, they expect success and fame within six months.

I’m not saying it isn’t possible, because it is, but in most cases it’s not going to happen.

People who need life changes now don’t realize that it’s not going to make them happy anyway.

All they want is their dream of a future without any problems. When they get there, reality sets in, so they set another goal.

And on it goes.

Take small steps. Enjoy the process, and have fun.

Those small steps will eventually evolve into quantum leaps.

2. Take Quantum Leaps

Something I’ve learned in working with NLP is that changes can happen in an instant. Old pains, fears, and negative emotions can vanish and be replaced by something more useful.

And this may seem contradictory to what I said above, but in reality it isn’t. It’s not either/or, it’s both/and.

We don’t live in a black and white world.

Quantum leaps are tipping points (as Malcolm Gladwell, the author likes to call them).

As you keep taking one step at a time, you will eventually reach a tipping point where everything shifts.

The problem is that most people never get to those shifts. They take a few steps, complain, whine, and give up.

They stop drilling when they are about to hit gold.

3. Accept Where You Are

When I was 18, I started playing poker professionally. I wasn’t going to work at a regular job, because there was no way I would survive doing that. I just couldn’t stand it.

Poker helped me realize many things, and one of them was that if I wanted to be happy, I had to accept where I was.

I still to this day have a hard time doing this. My mind is constantly going somewhere else.

Each day it gets better, and I’m okay with that (sometimes).

Things come and go. People live and die. Your life feels good, and it feels bad. The more you accept this, the easier it is to change your life.

4. Be Patient

I’ve been building my online business for the past five years. I say building, but what I really mean is learning the ropes.

I stumbled a lot in the beginning. I made mistakes, I failed, and I gave up in frustration more times than I’d like to admit.

I began seeing results when I became absolutely determined to succeed.

It was a big lesson in patience. It doesn’t matter what’s going on. There will always be problems. But they don’t have to clutter up your whole life.

Be patient with your progress.

You can change your life. Sometimes it just happens in its own time.

5. Forgive

We all have memories—painful memories.

What you may not realize is that the person hurting you with those memories is you.

You are the director of your mind. While the event may have happened in the past, it’s you who keeps playing them over and over again.

Reliving the past will get you nowhere. That’s why it’s essential to forgive and forget all those people in your memories.

When you do this, your life will begin to change. It takes a lot of energy to keep those memories running.

6. Heal

Healing yourself goes hand in hand with point #5. When you know that you can let go of past memories, fears, and obstacles, you become confident.

I personally use tools like NLP, EFT, and hypnotherapy on a daily basis to let go of negativity. Sometimes it feels like it’ll never end, but I keep on going.

Most people aren’t ready for life changes. All they want to do is complain. They avoid any and all solutions, because they are comfortable where they are.

And that’s fine with me, but if you make that choice, you have no right to complain or make excuses.

You either choose to be where you are, or you choose to change your life. It’s always up to you.

7. Face Your Fears

When you face your fears, possibilities open up. I still have a slew of fears waiting to be faced, but I’ve come a long way since I started.

And that brings up another important point.

This is not about comparing yourself to someone else. This is about comparing yourself to you.

How much have you learned since last year? Have you moved forward? If the answer is yes, then you’re doing well.

8. Kill Your Excuses

Your excuses are mere illusions.

You may have excuses about why you can’t follow your passion and build an online business, but are they really true?

If you really wanted to, you could make those excuses disappear, and when you do, you know what’ll happen?

That’s right.

Your life will change, once again.

9. Take Responsibility

Since talking with more and more readers, clients, and people in general, I’ve started to notice a scary pattern.

That pattern is the lack of responsibility. I see people wanting to change their life, but they aren’t willing to take responsibility.

They wait for a white knight (or black, depending on your preference) to sweep in to save the day and make change effortless and comfortable.

I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s not going to happen. When you take responsibility for the life you’ve created, you can begin to move forward.

If you’re blaming someone else for your situation, you’re stuck.

10. Follow Your Heart

And what would an article of mine be without me telling you to follow your heart?

If you’ve been reading my articles, you know that I keep writing about following your heart, and there’s a reason it keeps popping up.

As I’ve been living my life, I’ve started listening to my heart more and more.

And when I say following and listening to your heart, I mean it in the broadest sense of the word. It can mean anything, such as following your gut, intuition, feelings, or going with the flow of life.

When you begin putting the pieces together, and taking responsibility, and healing yourself, you will naturally begin to follow your heart.

11. Follow Your Passion

If you drive up to a gas station, fill your car with the wrong kind of fuel, it won’t run very well, if at all.

That’s what most people are trying to do in life. They are listening to outside influences, and that’s when all the “shoulds” come in.

It’s the belief that you have to focus on money in order to build a successful online business. I did this in the beginning, so I know what it’s like.

You want to do your research and know that there’s potential, but if you don’t do something you’re passionate about, your car will run out of fuel sooner or later.

It is your passion that will fuel your journey for the rest of your life.

12. Meditate

Ever had the experience of your mind racing out of control? It almost feels like you’re going crazy, doesn’t it?

A great way to calm yourself (and your mind) down is to meditate. Even five minutes of meditation can do wonders.

Did you know that a feeling can only stay in your body for about 90 seconds (chemically)? If it stays longer, you are doing something to maintain it.

You have to throw wood in the fire to keep it going.

Meditation is a great way to break that spell. So is exercise. So is eating. So is sex.

But I think one of the healthiest ways is to meditate and notice what’s going on .

13. Express Yourself

I find writing extremely therapeutic. It’s something I love to do. It calms me. It’s inspiring, and it infuses my life with serenity.

I highly recommend you take up journaling or just writing down your thoughts after every day. If you’ve tried to solve problems in your head, you know it doesn’t work. Your mind is too scattered for that.

You can have a conversation on paper, freewrite, and solve problems easily. It has the ability to change your life completely.

A great book on freewriting is Accidental Genius by Mark Levy. I highly recommend it.

14. Comfort Zone Kill

If you want to change your life in the most positive sense, get comfortable with being out of your comfort zone.

When you’re learning something new, you will bump into the walls of your comfort zone.

Your spirit wants to be free. It’s when you put yourself into a little box that it feels the need to rebel. You will start feeling bored, and restless.

You don’t have to suddenly infuse your life with discomfort. All you have to do is dip your toes from time to time.

15. Flow

Let’s face it. You don’t know what you want.

Sound harsh? Let me explain.

Most people think they know what they want. They make five and ten year plans, acting as if nothing will change during that time.

I’m on board with making plans and setting goals. But I don’t like rigidly sticking to them. You will miss opportunities if you do this.

In fact, you will miss life.

It’s like driving with all the windows painted black except the front window. You see where you’re going, but you miss everything else.

Accept that life brings you possibilities. You don’t always know where your life will go. If you go with the flow, it will take you where you need to be.

16. Focus

In order to change your life, you have to change your focus.

If you don’t take control of your mind, it will run amok. You will focus on the negative. You will imagine the worst possible scenario.

So, how do you focus?

You take it step-by-step. Meditate five minutes a day. Take a walk and notice how your body feels. Relax and stop stressing.

And when you do that, the way will open up.

17. Read

I love reading.

We live and die by stories. My life has changed several times by simply reading a book. I really need to compile a list of my favorite books into a post. Oh well, another time!

The stories you read have a profound effect on how you view the world. You can be stuck on a problem, and the solution can pop into your mind while you’re reading something completely unrelated.

Your mind does not work sequentially. You can be reading something, then something goes click, and your life changes forever.

And as you’re reading these very words, it causes you to think, doesn’t it?

In order for you to make sense out of the funny letters you see here, you have to go inside, and make sense out of it from your own map of the world.

Change is inevitable. It’s all about in what direction you’re changing.

18. Befriend the Unknown

You never know what you need. Remember point #15, going with the flow?

When you’re open to the unknown, which really is possibility, you accept that life may bring you something negative to teach you a positive lesson.

I’ve had some pretty horrible days when I played poker. It can murder you psychologically, especially if you’re playing it for a living like I was.

At one point I was looking up at the sky and asking “Why?”

And I’m not at all religious. But it helped me realize what’s truly important in life. It isn’t money, or material wealth, although those things can be nice.

You just never know what life will bring, so you might as well become curious.

How will the seemingly negative turn to positive in your life? What are they teaching you?

19. Reclaim Your Personal Power

Stop looking for others for approval. Just like taking responsibility (#9), you have to reclaim your personal power.

You know what to do. You can feel it. You just haven’t been listening to that inner voice til’ now.

It’s easy to give the decision to someone else, but it’s your life. The sooner you realize that, the more fun you will have.

What do you want to do right now?

If you don’t know, then start somewhere, because action will bring clarity.

20. Accept Failure

You will make mistakes.

And you won’t even know if they are mistakes when you make them, because mistakes and failures are skipping stones to success.

You only fail if you give up, so if you never give up, you can never fail, only learn, and grow.

21. You Are Always More

And above all, remember that you are always more than you think you are.

You are more than your problems, more than your fears, and more than your body.

I learned this from an excellent NLP trainer called John Overdurf.

It’s only when you focus on your problems and believe them to be you that you get into trouble.

So, remember to relax, because life is way too important to take seriously

And if you want to take things to the next level, you may want to check out my course, Passionate Living: A Simple Guide to Doing What You Love.

It’s not necessary by any means, but sometimes it’s helpful to have a structure to work from, and people tell me it’s good, so it might be able to help you.

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7 Harsh Truths They Don’t Tell You About Personal Growth

Henri — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 14:28:48 +0000

“WHY?”

That was the question I asked myself one winter evening, while sitting on my bed with my head resting in my palms.

Personal development didn’t seem to be what people said it was. Where was the change? Where was the positivity?

All I saw was more of what I didn’t like.

My bookshelf was filled with books on spirituality, self-growth, productivity, and even out of body experiences, but none of them seemed to do any good, or did they?

You see, the counter-intuitive (and funny) thing about embarking on the path of personal growth is that it’s not going to be all cakes and cookies.

Some people give up when the going gets tough, but those that stick with it realize that it’s not about achieving the end result and becoming perfect—free from problems.

It’s about the journey of growth; of becoming more of who you already are.

That’s why in this article I’ll share some of the harsh truths about personal growth. Don’t worry, it’s not all bad, because it all leads to the right place.

1. Results

Many, or dare I say most, who get into personal development are in a hurry to get to a place where everything is perfect and problems do not exist.

And that’s a normal response to have, because they haven’t yet traveled the path far enough to realize that it’s not about getting rid of problems.

It’s about how you perceive “problems.”

We’re taught early in our life to value achievements. It’s all about doing stuff. And while there’s nothing wrong with that, it becomes a problem when all you focus on is the end result.

You’re never here, because you’re always thinking of where you want to be, and when you get there, you’ll be somewhere else again; dreaming about the next goal.

It’s a never-ending cycle, unless you stop and change it.

Now, when I first stumbled upon personal growth, I wanted results. I wanted them now and I was willing to work hard to get them.

It’s almost like a mirage in the desert. Personal development becomes for you exactly what you need at that particular moment.

It may be a positive experience, or it may be a negative one. As long as you keep going, you will grow, even if you believe you aren’t on the right path.

2. Suffering

The path most commonly traveled by people not on the path of personal growth is one of avoidance, comfort, and familiarity.

It makes sense, because when you first start observing yourself and thinking about how you can improve, it can be painful.

There’s so much stuff that needs to be cleared and it feels like it’ll never end, so why even try?

That’s an excellent question, and one that you alone will have to answer. Only you can find the inner drive to change and grow.

And it won’t happen until it happens.

You’ve probably tried to get friends and family members to read a book that had an impact on you, or attend a workshop with you, but it simply doesn’t work.

They are not where you are, and they don’t have the same experiences that you have.

You have to allow others to find their own path, and you have to allow yourself to travel your unique journey without comparing yourself to others, and thinking about how far you haven’t yet come.

There will be suffering, but the fact that you feel negative about something means that you are aware of it, and that you can change.

It’s not bad, it’s good.

It may not feel like it is, but once you get through the bumps on the road, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about, and you may even know already.

There are a lot of things you don’t know that you know.

3. Confusion

How comfortable are you with confusion?

Not all that comfortable, right?

The funny thing is that we try to spend most our life avoiding confusion and uncertainty.

However, if you think back to a moment where you had a breakthrough; where suddenly everything made sense, you may become aware of the fact that just before that breakthrough, there was confusion.

Whenever you’re learning something new, which you are doing almost all the time, you will be feeling slightly confused. You may even feel fear.

The confusion comes from the assimilation of new information. Your brain literally has to restructure, especially if you bump into a piece of information that’s “life-changing.”

So when, in the future, you’re feeling confused or uncertain, know that it is happening because you are growing and learning.

It’s just a sign that something new is going on. It might not be pleasant, but it is always leading you to higher understanding and clarity.

4. Fun

Personal growth is not all pain and suffering. There will be times when you are experiencing amazing breakthroughs.

After awhile you will begin to notice improvements in the most surprising areas of your life. It’s different for everyone, but still very fascinating.

You see, when you grow in one area of your life, it ripples outward. Every aspect of you affects every other aspect.

What you will also realize is that it’s not about changing your external circumstances as much as it is about who you are inside.

When you change your internal workings, the external naturally follows.

For example, when I started on this journey, I complained, agonized, and almost hated life in general, and my life wasn’t fun.

However, since I’ve worked on myself and let go of a lot of unhelpful beliefs, the external has begun to shift.

As you gain deeper insight, you will begin to realize that it’s all about following your heart, and going with the flow of life.

When you resist the flow, you feel bad, and life brings you down. It’s like trying to stand still in a powerful downward stream. It takes effort, and it isn’t fun when you start feeling your muscles wanting to give out.

5. Response-Ability

You alone are responsible for the results you get, and who you become. There is no one else that can make your decisions for you.

As I’ve started working with clients more and more, I’ve started noticing that there are some people that want life handed to them on a silver platter.

Then there are the go-getters who just need a nudge and off they go. Which of the two people are you?

What will your life look like if you keep this up for the next 5, 10, and 20 years?

If looking into the future feels good, then you’re on the right path. If not, then make the necessary changes.

When you are willing to take action, you will see the world open up before you. Uncertainty will become possibility, because you never know what will happen.

And even when you don’t know the answers, you have the power to move forward and see what happens. That is how you figure stuff out.

If you’ve been looking for the key that will make your life work, know that it doesn’t exist outside of you.

You are the key to your life. You are the missing ingredient, and you alone have the power within to create the life you desire, even if you don’t believe it yet.

6. Not Knowing

By now, you already know that confusion is an inherent part of self growth, and what usually happens when you’re feeling confused is that you’ll want to find something familiar.

You will look for certainty. You want answers from people. You will search for guarantees and anything else that will alleviate the confusion.

This includes addictive behaviors and negative states. Whatever is familiar and comfortable is what you will try and grab onto.

And that’s to be expected. But know this: the more you try to resist the confusion, the harder it becomes.

As you keep bumping into confusion and all the other friendly faces on your path, you will get to know them better.

You will know when they are about to pop up, and you will know what is coming next. You will become more comfortable with all of them.

The big lesson is that you don’t have to know it all. That has been a big one in my life, and while I know it, I still want to know it all, right now.

It comes and goes in cycles. Sometimes I’m okay with it, while other times I am not.

You don’t have to know it all to take action. And often when you start taking action, the pieces fall into place.

The best thing you can do when you feel confused is to breathe, accept where you are, and think about the next smallest step you can take toward what you want.

This can be anything, and may at times seem irrelevant. It might mean reading a book, attending a workshop, or just taking a walk.

You just never know what you will discover when you take that next step.

7. Not Getting

What you want now won’t always be what you will want in the future.

The best you can do is look to the future from where you are now, but when you start moving forward and experiencing life, things start to change and shift, and your heart will take you to places you never imagined wanting to go to.

When you set a goal and go after it without flexibility, you literally put blinders on yourself, and block yourself from seeing all the possibilities around you.

When you know where you want to go, you don’t need to know how to get there, although if you know the steps, that does help.

What I’m saying is that you don’t necessarily need a rigid set of steps to get anywhere, because you never know what path you will end up taking.

That is why I recommend you follow your passion, and follow your heart, because they will lead you to where you need to be.

It’s tough to let go, because it feels like you’re losing control, but you aren’t.

Allow both the positive and negative into your life. Sometimes it may seem that you’re not making progress, but you always are.

I’ve discovered that it is when I’m going through a thunderstorm of negativity that I grow the most.

It gives me the opportunity to let things go and allow whatever is happening to be okay.

Not easy, but easier than resisting.

Image by Stefan

The Surprisingly Simple Secret to Taking Action, Right Now

Henri — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 09:57:06 +0000

What stops you from taking action?

Is it overwhelm, fear of failure, anxiety, and a host of of blocks, thoughts, and feelings?

How interested would you be in learning a way to effortlessly take action despite them?

When you implement what you are about to learn, you will dramatically reduce your “procrastination time.”

You won’t suddenly become a productivity machine, but you might, because you never know, right?

The simple secret to taking massive action is so simple that you may end up laughing when you discover what it is, but it truly works.

And you will discover exactly what I’m talking about when you use it in your own life.

Looking Into Your Future

When I stop myself from taking action, I look into the future. I try to plan and predict what’s going to happen, and not happen. What I need to do, and not do.

I’m sure you know where that thought process leads, don’t you?

There’s nothing but overwhelm, fear, and anxiety when I go down that path. Even though I know what I’m about to share with you in this article, I still fall into the trap of overwhelm and scaring myself.

And that’s okay. Not always fun, but okay.

What you may not realize, if you’re really good at overwhelming yourself, is that as you take action, you learn and grow.

This means that you cannot effectively plan ahead, because the wiser you become, the more different your future decisions become. You begin to look at things from a whole new perspective.

And this is why going with the flow, trusting your heart, and taking action is so powerful. When you move forward, the pieces of the puzzle fall into place when they need to, and with each piece, you see more and more of the bigger picture.

You don’t have to know everything to know enough.

Setting a goal is all well and good, but it should never stop you from taking action.

The goal is there so you have something to aim at, but you always want to be thinking about what you can do now.

How to Effortlessly Take Action

With all that said, let’s take a look at how you can start to take action right away, shall we?

The secret is asking yourself the following question: What is the next smallest step that I can take, right now?

You don’t have to plan everything, although sometimes it’s helpful, but when it’s not is when it isn’t moving you forward.

We’ve been taught that we need to eliminate uncertainty, but what you may not realize is that without uncertainty, possibility cannot exist.

So if you’ve been planning, and trying to avoid mistakes that you haven’t made yet, I encourage you to ask yourself what the next smallest step is that you can take toward the general direction of your goal.

I told you it was going to be surprisingly simple, and it is.

There is still one more step you can take if you want to take this to the next level.

Feel the End Result, Now

Have you ever made an important decisions while you were feeling bad?

How did it go?

We all have, and the result is often unpleasant, uncomfortable, and unwanted.

This is why I want you to imagine what it would feel like to have already accomplished your goal.

Then feel what it feels like in your body. And from this state of already having the feeling you want to have, ask yourself what the next smallest step is that you can take, right now.

This will get you effortlessly moving in the right direction without overwhelm, fear, or anxiety.

This doesn’t mean you’ll never feel negative, because you will, but it will get you moving, and once you’re moving, you become unstoppable.

You see, when you feel good and make decisions from a state of peace, happiness, joy, inspiration, or even fulfillment, it will lead to more of those feelings.

In short: Feel it, then take action.

Image by Giacomo

The Ultimate Guide to Following Your Heart

Henri — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 09:13:35 +0000

Would you like to follow your heart, but your mind or something else is stopping you?

Does it feel uncomfortable, uncertain, and maybe even confusing to follow your heart?

What you are experiencing is very normal and very common when you are beginning to follow your heart.

It is just the sign that you are heading in the right direction, because your mind and body are making adjustments to a new way of being and living.

I’ve been bumping into this during coaching sessions with my clients over and over again. They want to follow their heart, but it’s hard and it doesn’t make “sense.”

Your mind wants proof that heart-centered living works. The only problem is that you won’t get proof until you start to follow your heart.

It will feel awkward and weird at first, like anything new, but once you see that your heart is leading you on exactly the path you need, your mind will automatically begin to trust.

The Battle Between Your Mind & Your Heart

When you’re a novice in heart-centered matters, it may feel safer to follow your mind. It just makes more sense logically, doesn’t it?

This sense of comfort is an illusion, because if you look at your past, you may begin to see that solely following your mind hasn’t helped you create the life you truly want.

This is what I discovered when I started on this path many years ago. I was miserable, pessimistic and always proud of my impeccable “logic.”

Your heart, however, is connected to something much bigger than you. You may call it spirit, the unconscious, god, higher-self, or the universe.

I don’t worry too much about what label to put on it. What I care about are the amazing results it produces in my life.

The Art of Not-Knowing

This is not to say that you have to kill your mind, because it definitely has its uses. What it does mean is that you should aim for a more balanced approach.

Let your heart and mind integrate and work as a team. When you follow your heart more, and your mind sees the results, it will naturally begin to happen.

However, you have to take that initial leap of faith to get the process going. We’ve been taught that we should know everything before we do anything.

And we spend our whole lives avoiding the unknown, but the truth of the matter is that you don’t have to know everything to know enough.

You only have to know your next step, and the next step can be given to you by listening to your heart.

It may come as a gentle nudge, a thought, a feeling, or even hearing a song on the radio.

How to Take Action and Acquire Proof

If you’ve been reading my articles for awhile, you already have some proof that heart-centered living works, and works really well.

You’ve probably seen others follow their hearts as well. It looks good, but you may doubt that you are able to do it.

You may even look at other people living their passion and think that you would never be able to do that. They must have some kind of magical ability, right?

They must be better than you to do that, but they aren’t. They have simply learned how to listen to their hearts and move forward.

They aren’t fearless. They simply take things one day at a time, one step at a time. They feel fear, overwhelm, and confusion, just like you.

The difference is that they have developed the trust in themselves, just like you are doing right now, to overcome fears and work with them.

The fact that you are feeling what you are feeling now is a sign that you are heading in the right direction, because “negative” feelings will always be there to greet you when you embark on a path worth traveling.

Always remember that.

How to Follow Your Heart

I can’t give you the exact steps for following your heart, because your signals will differ from mine, but what I can do is share what my experiences have been.

Most people overlook messages from their heart because they are looking in the wrong direction. If you focus on the grass on the ground, you will miss the birds flying above.

Keep your eyes open and your focus wide, because you never know where your heart will nudge you.

One of the main ways that I follow my heart is simply by getting feelings. To put this into concrete terms, someone may contact me about doing a business partnership.

What I’ll do is stay open and see how things feel. Most of the time it won’t feel right, or something will feel off, so I either say no, or decide to wait.

Sometimes I’ll feel uncertain. In that case, I may explore the opportunity a bit further and see how things go and how they feel.

Now, I’ll also use my mind to assess things, such as if I have time, if I want to do this, and so on. There’s never any rush to jump into an opportunity, even if it may seem like it.

There will always be enough opportunities. Saying no doesn’t mean missing out, because there will be another train coming along.

Being Right is Not the Goal

At least I’m not.

I do my best to trust my heart, but sometimes the feelings and nudges I get aren’t authentic.

By that I mean that I can misinterpret what they are all about. Sometimes the messages from my heart can be clouded by the emotions I feel inside.

And I’m okay with that. I know that I won’t get it right all the time, and this small amount of uncertainty adds a bit of spice to my life.

Sometimes it’s fun, and sometimes it isn’t. It’s all a part of the game we call life.

The more you follow your heart, the better you get at it. It’s like with anything else; it’s not about being perfect, it’s about learning and trusting the process.

That’s the way I see it.

You won’t always be right, but you will always be heading in the right direction, even when you feel like you’re not.

Your Life is Changing

The fact that you’re reading this means that something inside of you is looking for a change, or you may already be changing.

This happened to me in my late teens. I knew that I wasn’t heading in the right direction. Something had to change, and it did.

It didn’t happen overnight, but as I’ve kept putting one foot in front of the other, I saw phenomenal change taking place, and I discovered what passionate living is all about.

And while you may feel confused from time to time, know that it’s just a sign that you are growing and evolving in the best way for you.

There’s a reason why you’ve read this article. Something resonates with you, and you may not even know what it is, and that’s okay.

You see, change almost never happens consciously.

While we want to force things in a certain direction, change happens on the unconscious level, and often happens without you even noticing.

That’s why when you’re following your heart and going with the flow, life will begin to seem easier and more colorful.

Image by Brian

An Average Day in the Life of Henri

Henri — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 08:40:17 +0000

Ever since I’ve been making a living online doing what I love, people have been curious about what a typical day in my life looks like.

At first I thought it was just one or two people who wanted to know, but as time has passed, more and more have asked.

I even had a coaching client ask me last week what a day in my life looks like, so I took that as a sign that I needed to address it in a post and let it all out.

The problem with writing about my typical day is that my schedule tends to change depending on what routine I feel good following, and what my mood is like, but I’ve gotten into a good groove the last few months that I’m going to spell out here.

Even though my schedule changes, the same parts are still there, though they may be in different places at different times of the year.

I do my best to keep my life simple, and relaxed, while still getting things done. I don’t worry about being amazingly productive. I focus on doing what I enjoy, going with the flow, and trusting the process.

Now, obviously I’m not constantly doing what I love, because there are tasks that aren’t fun, and I’m not completely balanced all the time, but usually I don’t worry about stuff as much as I used to.

And as you travel further along this path, you will also realize that trusting what happens is the only thing you can do, because you cannot force the outcome or predict what’s going to happen.

With that said, let’s take a peek at what my life looks like as I write this on the 13^th of June, 2011:

Before Bed Routine

I cherish my before bed routine, because it works, and it’s amazingly simple.

What I do is I have a pad of paper where I write down two to three high-value tasks that I am going to accomplish the next day.

These could be writing a blog post, a guest post, doing an interview, or working on a product.

I’ve found that this gets me focused in the morning and ready to go. I don’t have to think about what I am going to do because it has already been decided (by me).

I also find that it’s easier to decide before I go to bed than in the morning when I wake up, because my mind tends to want to focus on easier tasks if I do it in the morning.

The problem with easy tasks is that they don’t produce results. If I want to give you value and help you improve your life, I have to focus on what truly matters.

You see, you don’t have to work all day to produce results. You only have to work on the right tasks for the right amount of time, and that is what I do.

Sometimes I work more, sometimes less. It completely depends on what I feel like on that particular day.

08AM to 09AM

The first thing I usually do in the morning is to make a cup of green tea, because I found that it helps me focus and it’s a nice substitute for eating in the morning.

I’ve been doing intermittent fasting for a while now, or a loose version of it. Intermittent fasting for me means that I start eating at 12 noon and stop at 8PM.

It gives my body time to rest for the 16 hours I don’t eat, and it helps me focus and produce inspired work in the morning.

When I sit and sip on my cup of green tea, I usually check my email and see if there are any urgent customer messages or technical glitches that I need to take care of.

Sometimes I sit there marveling at how good life can be. I recently found a life purpose self-test I did two years ago (In May 2009) and I saw that I was pretty much lost in confusion, which is normal when you’re beginning on “the path.”

Now I know what my purpose is. I know where I want to go, and I trust myself and the universe much more.

Other than that, I spend the first hour waking up, relaxing and visualizing what I’m going to do and how awesomely I’m going to do it.

Sometimes after making my early-morning check up, if I’m not grateful for life, I might read something, or listen to an audio course to get my brain into the creative zone and feeling good.

09AM to 12 Noon

I usually work from 09 to noon. It completely depends on my mood and how inspired I’m feeling. Some days I may end up working one hour, while others I’ll work and suddenly the whole day has gone by.

But the standard for me when I’m really producing a lot is three hours a day, because after that I’ve found that my creative juices run out.

And I’ve also found that working in the early morning hours before eating anything big improves my ability to be inspired to write and have that extra bit of clarity which helps me focus on just the right tasks.

I used to be a night owl, but I’ve lately found myself liking being up in the morning more. However, sometimes I find my daily rhythm drifting and I might find myself working later than I wanted to, and I’m okay with that.

I don’t force myself to wake up early, and I don’t force myself to stay up late. I simply do whatever it is that I feel like doing.

Forcing yourself to do anything is not going to help you in the long-run.

And I realized that it doesn’t really matter if I wake up early or go to bed late, because what matters is what I do with the time that I have.

12 Noon to 1PM

After my work done, I eat some food, relax, and spend some time looking out the window and wondering what I feel inspired to do next.

Two or three days a week I go to the gym at this time. I’ve always liked lifting weights and pushing myself to the limit, so I really enjoy doing it and it helps me re-energize and burn off some steam (if there is any).

This is really an in between time for me, because I just sit wondering what I’m going to do and I might think about the work I’ve done and if there’s anything I can go back and fix that I have forgotten.

In general, I take it easy and just enjoy what is. Now, sometimes I feel overworked, overwhelmed, and frustrated, but I do my best to stay in the present and be with what is.

1PM to 6PM

This is usually my learning and exploring time, which includes meditation. Also, I often book coaching client sessions around this time, because of the time zone differences with the people with whom I work.

I don’t worry about having a rigid schedule, but I have found that during some times of the day, I’m more creative than others, so I pay attention to that.

The learning varies wildly from month to month. For example, currently I’m into improving my coaching, so I’m studying NLP/HNLP, and the feedback I’m getting from my coaching clients has been nothing short of amazing.

Other months I might spend time reading books on personal development and finding new ideas that I can incorporate to my own life and help others do the same.

The common theme within everything that I’m learning is that it improves my life in some way or another.

It could be learning about improving my health, improving my productivity, releasing emotional blocks, or whatever I happen to “bump into.”

6PM-12 Midnight

It feels weird to me to schedule my time like this, because after I’ve done my work in the morning, I’m very spontaneous about my time. I tend to trust my intuition and do what inspires me.

But for the sake of this article, I spend the late evening hanging out with friends, family, or my girlfriend.

I still often get excited and inspired, which brings me back to my computer or forces me to capture my thoughts so I can work on them later.

This is the beauty of doing what you love, because there really are no set times that you work or don’t work.

You might have a burst of inspiration while you’re sleeping, or you might realize that you don’t really want to work this morning, so you do something else and find yourself inspired while you’re outside taking a walk.

It’s all about trusting your heart and trusting the path that you’re on.

As you can see, my day is very simple, relaxed, and intuitive. And that’s the way I like it.

Your day might look different, and that’s okay, because you have to find something that fits for you. But I’ve found that I really enjoy a lot of learning and alone time.

I’m truly grateful for everything that life has offered me. I’ve never worked a real day job in my life, so I’ve always been able to design my day the way I want to.

And if you’re looking to increase the freedom of your life and go after your passion, you know what to do.

You have to take action, because that is when the puzzle pieces will start falling into place.

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peek into my life. And as always if you have any questions or comments, leave them below!

Image by Dave

7 Powerful Questions That Will Help You Get Exactly What You Want

Henri — Wed, 18 May 2011 09:45:15 +0000

If I could show you how to get crystal clear about your goals and effortlessly start taking action in the right direction, would you be interested?

In this article we’re going to go through seven powerful questions that will not only help you get clear about what you want, but also identify the obstacles and eliminate them.

These are some of the questions I use in my coaching sessions to help you get clear about what you want and make it so effortless for you that you can’t not take action.

What you’ll really love about these questions is how simple they are. I recommend you grab a pen and a piece of paper and follow along with the questions.

This will help you integrate them and really make progress in your life, which is what you want, right?

For the purposes of this article, I’m going to travel back in time to when I wanted to start Wake Up Cloud, so you can get a concrete example of how these questions are used.

1. What do you want?

What is it that you truly want? If you were a client, I’d dive into this question more deeply because there are always multiple layers, but for the sake of this article, I’ll keep it brief.

Before I started Wake Up Cloud, my heart was telling me to just go ahead and start. I wanted to help people, share what I knew, and also make a living doing what I love.

I had a yearning to do something else than be a professional poker player. Looking back now I see that I’ve always wanted to do this, but I just wasn’t ready, until now.

2. Why do you want that?

The next question focuses on the purpose. Why do you want what you want?

You’re writing all this down, aren’t you?

I wanted to start Wake Up Cloud because I wanted to feel fulfilled. I wanted to feel good about myself, and I felt like it was something that I was drawn to do.

That is the simplest way I can put it.

3. What stops you?

Next we come to a really interesting question, which helps you identify the obstacles that stop you from taking action right away.

What stopped me was that I didn’t believe I had anything to share with the world. I looked at other personal development bloggers, authors and speakers, and they seemed to know so much and I so little.

It took me a few years to finally reach the point where I got mad at myself and took action even though I wasn’t sure I had anything to contribute.

And I’m glad I did.

4. Why is it like that?

Once you’ve identified what stops you, it’s time to look at why you have the obstacles in the first place. Where have they come from?

My obstacle was that I didn’t believe I knew enough. I wish I had known what I know now, because it would’ve helped me tremendously in getting started faster and with more confidence.

Why did I believe that I didn’t have enough to share? How did I know that was the case? This is where it gets tricky for me. Many of these questions really make you think.

We often take our beliefs and thoughts for granted. Once you start really looking at them, they start breaking down if they aren’t useful, and you become free from the shackles of your mind.

I believed that I wasn’t enough because I went inside and tried to compare myself to people that had been doing this for years. It didn’t match, which “told” me that I wasn’t good enough.

These kinds of limiting beliefs are what usually stop people from going after what they truly want.

5. How have you been perceiving this as a problem until now?

How have you perceived this to be a problem in your life? I mean, I could’ve just decided to not start Wake Up Cloud and the problem would’ve been solved, right?

The problem was that I wanted to do something that I knew I could do, but I was comparing myself to other people and stopping myself from taking action.

Funny how that works, isn’t it?

One part of me was saying, “Go for it!” while the other was saying “Wait a minute, you don’t know enough. What if you fail?”

The funny thing about a split like this is that usually both parts want the same thing. They want what is best for me.

6. What would you like to believe?

What would you like to believe instead of the limiting belief? This is an interesting question, because it lets you discover that you have choice, and that you’ve always had choice.

In my case, what I would’ve wanted to believe at that point is that I do know enough, and that I can learn whatever I need to know as I am taking action.

This question helps you imagine what you want and look at the future differently. We can often get stuck in one way of thinking, so jumping out of that can begin to break the spell of the old belief.

So imagine, what would you like to believe instead? How would it feel if you believed something more positive and empowering?

And how would your future look different if you did that now?

7. What would happen if you could?

Last, but not least, what would happen if you could? This is an eye-opener for many, because it may open your eyes to something scary.

What I mean by that is that you may be afraid of success in some way.

For example, what would happen if I did start Wake Up Cloud? My thoughts at the time would’ve probably been that I then would have to put myself out there.

I might have to do interviews, create products, and learn all kinds of new stuff. This is all unknown territory which had the potential to evoke a lot of old fears.

So in some way, my limiting beliefs were helping me stay away from this. Once you’ve identified what’s going on, you can deal with it and starting flying toward what you truly want from life.

Photo Credit

20 Exceptional Tips for Setting and Achieving Smart Goals

Henri — Mon, 09 May 2011 11:48:00 +0000

Goal setting is crucial for getting what you want, but most goal setting articles lack that extra oomph to really get you taking action and achieving your goals faster than you thought possible.

I wrote this article to fill that gap. Not only will you learn how to set smart goals, you will also learn how to program your unconscious mind to propel you into action and success.

For a long time, I didn’t set any goals because I thought they were useless. However, when I became serious about goal setting, I saw immediate results.

It was as if a switch was flipped inside of me and my unconscious mind suddenly had a target to go after. The feelings of feeling lost and overwhelmed were dramatically decreased.

And my feelings of motivation shot through the roof like an out of control champagne cork. Setting goals always seemed scary to me, because it meant committing to something I wasn’t sure about.

Whatever your reasons used to be for not setting goals, it’s time to set them aside and use goals to dramatically increase not only how much you get done in life, but how fulfilled you feel.

Obviously goals aren’t going to automatically make your life better or make you rich. It’s up to you to set goals that make you happy and that are right for you.

What goals will do is help you gain clarity on what you truly want in life. They are a tool to help you move in the right direction–a very powerful tool.

One of the most effective ways to set goals is to utilize the S.M.A.R.T criteria, and that is what the first five tips in this article are all about.

The rest of the tips come from my personal experience and the things I’ve learned of how you can enhance your goal setting:

1. Specific

One of the most important things for setting and achieving goals is to set specific goals.

Think about where it should happen, when it should happen, what you want to accomplish, what you need to get there (if you know), and why you want to achieve the goal.

Most people set vague goals because they want to “stay open,” but we both know that the people who set vague goals never go anywhere.

If you want to earn a specific amount of money every year doing what you love, set a specific amount, such as $50,000 a year, or $5,000 a month.

2. Measurable

Making your goals measurable will help you know when you’re making progress, when you’re on the right track, and it will motivate you to take action.

The important question you should be asking yourself is: How will I know when I’ve achieved my goal?

How do you know when you’re making progress and how will you know when you’re heading in the right direction?

3. Attainable

Your goal has to be attainable, and you have to believe that you can achieve it.

Now, sometimes you may have beliefs that bring you down. That’s normal, and these negative beliefs can be eliminated if you wish to do so.

Set goals that you can attain and that excite you. Boring goals are not the best motivators if you want to take massive action and change your life for the better.

4. Realistic

Your goals also have to be realistic. If you set a highly unrealistic goal, it will discourage you from taking action and even taking the first step.

If you want to run a marathon, an unrealistic goal might be to prepare for a marathon in two weeks. It’s just not going to happen.

So remember to set realistic goals that are both attainable and that excite you to take action right now.

5. Timely

Setting a deadline will dramatically enhance your focus and motivation. If you’ve ever worked under the pressure of time, you know how fast you can produce great quality work.

I use deadlines repeatedly when writing articles. I set a time limit for each article, and I challenge myself to set new records of how fast I can get a first draft done.

I highly recommend you get an egg-timer or whatever you want to use, and really challenge yourself to do more than you think you can.

You will be surprised at the outcome.

6. Model

Now we’re getting to the really good stuff. The first five tips are essential to good goal setting, but the tips that follow will catapult you toward your goals.

One of my favorite ways to reach goals is to find people that have already done what I want to do, learn what they did, and take the same steps they’ve taken.

There is no need to reinvent the wheel, when there is almost always someone that has already gone before you that you can follow.

This is not to say you should follow them blindly, only that you can pick what feels right and make much faster progress than if you were learning everything from scratch.

7. Visualization

Visualization has been proven over and over again to not only be effective in improving performance, but also in changing behaviors and achieving big goals.

When you imagine your most important goal as already being achieved, you will feel good and you will be telling your unconscious mind exactly what you want.

I recommend you visualize for a few minutes early in the morning and before you go to bed. Imagine your goals as already being accomplished, and really enjoy the feeling of success that comes from that.

8. Affirm

You’ve probably heard of affirmations. There has been a lot of bad press about them, but what people think of them doesn’t change the fact that they remain highly effective.

For example, if you have a goal of earning $100,000 each and every year, your affirmation might be “I easily and consistently earn $100,000 each and every year.”

You then repeat this information to yourself throughout the day. Affirmations do not work for most people because:

They aren’t used consistently
They aren’t used properly
Their doubts take over

What I mean by your doubts taking over is that when you say your affirmation, your mind may go “Yeah right, you’re not going to earn that amount of money. You don’t deserve it.”

That instantly destroys the power of your affirmation.

9. Release Doubts

Most people are great at talking negatively to themselves all day long. They are telling themselves that affirmations do not work while using the exact opposite of affirmations.

Here are a few examples of common negative self talk:

I’m not good enough
I’ll never amount to anything
I am not worthy of $100,000 per year
Why do bad things always happen to me
Why did he/she do that to me
Life is not fair

The more you tell yourself that things will happen, the more they will. As you think, so shall you become.

Releasing these doubts can be done in many ways.

10. Believe in Yourself

It’s important that you believe in yourself and in your ability to reach your goals.

Naturally, you can begin to realize that you have already accomplished many goals in your life. You already have amazing qualities that make you a genius, even if you may not believe it, yet.

The only person standing between you and success is yourself.

You do not even necessarily have to know how you will accomplish your goal, much like babies do not have to read books on walking in order to start walking.

They simply do until they succeed.

11. Take Action

While visualization and affirmations are highly effective in propelling you toward your goals, you also have to take action each and every day.

The more action you take, the faster you will achieve your goals. Just by reading these words, you can become aware of all the steps you can take, right now, to achieve your goals.

You can begin to move toward your dream life. It may seem hard at first, but as you keep going, the fog will clear and you will start to feel better and better.

12. Use Software

Another interesting way to condition your mind positively is to use subliminal software you can have your affirmations flashing on your computer screen, or you could even create your own Audio CDs.

There have been countless studies on the subject of subliminals. They have even been banned from advertising because they are so effective.

All of the tips in this article are to help you achieve your goals. By no means do I recommend you rely on just one.

I am putting it all out there so you can pick and choose. The most important factors will always be clarity and action. Always remember that.

13. Meditate

Meditation is an excellent way of calming your mind, tapping into the unlimited potential of your unconscious and easily solving any challenge you may come across.

It can be as simple as sitting down for 5 to 10 minutes and focusing on your breath. It will not only help you achieve your goals faster, it will also help you relax and improve your health.

I personally enjoy moving meditation, which is simply the act of being aware of your body or your breathing while you’re working out, watching the dishes, or even taking a walk.

14. Brainstorm

A great way to faster achieve your goals is to brainstorm steps you can take today to make even more progress.

You can do this by taking a blank sheet of paper and writing what you want to get the answer to at the top.

For example, before I began writing this goal setting article, I brainstormed all the tips beforehand.

I simply wrote the following at the top: “How to achieve goals faster,” I then let my unconscious mind do its thing without censoring.

15. Be Open

When setting smart goals, it’s important to stay open-minded, because the way to achieving your goal may be nothing like you have imagined.

If you want to earn $100,000 a year, set that goal and start affirming it and you may suddenly find yourself without a job.

I know that sounds crazy, so keep reading.

This may at first seem disheartening, but when you really look at it, you realize that you didn’t like that job at all.

And a few weeks later you find another job which you truly enjoy and find that your earning potential is significantly better.

You just never know what the universe will throw at you.

16. Read, Listen and Learn

Setting goals is not about accomplishing things as much as it is about personal growth.

You see, when you set goals that are challenging, you will have to become a better person in order to accomplish those goals.

That is why it’s important that you read, listen and learn about personal growth and how you can become better in every area of your life.

If you want to make a million, don’t do it for the money, do it for the person you will have to become.

17. Determination

One of the most common characteristics of people that constantly achieve their goals is that they are determined and relentless.

They don’t give up.

Imagine being relentless in the face of obstacles and challenges. See yourself blasting through the roadblocks and moving boldly to your goals.

You already have that ability in you, you just have to dust it off and start using it.

18. Positive Attitude

Have you noticed that positive people tend to not only get more things done; they also tend to be a lot happier?

Negative people often say they are not negative, merely realistic. I don’t care what they say, because when you look at the results, you can clearly see that being positive is better than being negative, no matter what your life circumstances are.

You can easily make the decision today to become more positive and see things in a new light. The ball is in your hands.

19. Non-Perfection

If you have a goal you’ve been putting off because things aren’t perfect, take that as a message to get started right away, because circumstances will never be perfect.

If you want to start a fire, you first have to collect wood. Most people want the fire without having to put in wood first.

As you begin to take action toward your goal, you will become aware of the fact that the steps will magically appear in front of you as you keep moving forward.

This is what happened to me as I overcame my fears and started moving toward living the life that I truly wanted.

20. Passion

Last, but definitely not least is to follow your passion.

This is something you have probably heard me talk a lot about on this blog. When you’re passionate about your goals, you will be much more likely to achieve them.

Always remember that most of your life is spent on the journey so you might as well make it something you truly enjoy doing.

An Extra Tip

Realize that most of the goals you set may not need to be reached in order for you to reap the benefits. They may just need to be there for you to have something to aim at.

So stay open, stay positive, and go with the flow of life, because you never know where it will take you.

Image by Cliff

How to Live a Happy Life

Henri — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 10:09:49 +0000

We all want to learn how to live a happy life. I know I’ve been in pursuit of a happy life for as long as I can remember.

I’ve always wondered what it takes to be happy. As I pursued money, relationships, and success, I realized that happiness doesn’t come from the outside; it comes from within each of us.

It is something that is present all the time within you and me. Imagine the layers of an onion being your negative beliefs, thoughts, and fears.

As you peel away the layers (what you are not), you eventually reach the core (who you really are). We are all here to find meaning and purpose.

This is something I’ve discovered myself and it is something many of the personal development teachers out there talk about over and over again.

However, learning how to live a happy life is not about locking yourself in a closet and meditating for the rest of your life.

We as human beings are designed to set and achieve goals, so we need goals to feel fulfilled.

These are all a piece of the pie of living a happy life, but we have to keep in mind that it is not the external things that make us happy but what is going on inside of us.

With all that said, let’s look at nine simple steps on how to live a happy life.

1. Making the Choice

It all begins with the choice to be happier, to start studying the commonalities of happy people. What are they doing? How do they think? How do they face challenges?

Most people want something for nothing. If your life isn’t as good as you want it to be right now, you are the only one that can change it for the better.

You have to become clear about what you want in life, and who you want to be. You do not have to settle for mediocrity.

Almost every limit in our lives is set by ourselves. Most of the negative beliefs you have, you have learned from your parents, society, and friends.

They can all be eliminated. You can take control of your destiny and be happy. You can shape your future as you want it.

Now, I realize that we can’t control everything in life, but you certainly can create a happy life if you choose to. Just look at the people all around you that are already living the life of their dreams.

It didn’t happen because they were lucky. And they did not inherit their happiness from their parents. They created it.

2. Taking Responsibility

You alone are responsible for your life. You may think you have valid excuses of why you’re not as successful or happy as you should be.

Your excuses don’t matter, because they won’t change anything.

Do you want to give your excuses the power of controlling your life? Or do you want to reclaim the power that you’ve always had and create the life of your dreams?

You can whine, blame, and make excuses all you want, but it will only keep you stuck.

If you look at some of the happiest and most successful people on the planet, you will see that most of them did not come from privileged backgrounds.

In fact, many of them had to face brutal challenges in order to get to where they are. But the funny thing is that it wasn’t their problems or challenges that were the problem.

You see, all the drama and problems we face in life help us grow as human beings if we have the courage to face them and get through them.

3. Personal Development

Learning how to live a happy life is about learning how you work. It is up to you to take control of your own being.

By that I mean your thoughts, your health, and the path you are on.

You’re reading this article for a reason. You are here because your heart resonates with what I’m writing.

You know that what I’m saying is true. You can go after your dreams and you can make a living doing what you want, if you would just make the decision to do so.

If you truly want to supercharge your progress, focus on becoming better. The way I do this is by listening to personal development audio programs, attending seminars, and reading as many books as I can get my hands on.

The more information you have on what it takes to live a happy life, and the more you apply those principles, the happier you will be.

It really doesn’t get any harder than that. Learning how to live a happy life almost happens by itself when you make the decision that you are going to be happy and not miserable.

4. Clear Goals

When you make the decision, the next step is to set clear goals of what you want to achieve in each of the main areas of your life.

The main areas in my life are:

Health
Work
Relationships
Personal Development

The way to set the most effective goals is to use the SMART criteria, which stands for:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

And you must write down your goals on a piece of paper. Review your goals on a weekly basis, or better yet, rewrite them daily as if they were already a reality.

This will focus your subconscious mind on the goals that you want to achieve. The reason most people feel lost in their lives is because they have no goals whatsoever.

Most people sit in the passenger seat of the car that is their life. They let the car go where it goes, and then complain when it ends up in the ditch and they have to pay for repairs.

Successful and happy people take control of the wheel and steer the car where they want to go.

5. One Step at a Time

Never underestimate how much you can get done by taking one single step each day toward your goals.

You can always focus on low value tasks, such as hanging out on Twitter, Facebook, and checking your e-mail, but that’s not going to change your life, is it?

Learning how to live a happy life is about taking control and focusing your mind on the tasks that have the biggest impact on your life.

For example, if you want to lose weight, you have to focus on changing your habits and beliefs, specifically around food and exercise.

You can play around with all the different exercise programs out there and plan your day, but if the above two factors aren’t in place, you will never make any progress.

When you set your goals, you know the direction you need to go in. You don’t have to know exactly how you will get there, but you do have to take one step every single day, or as often as possible to make it happen.

6. Consistent Action

Nothing happens without action.

If you can take consistent action in the right direction and by working on the most valuable tasks, you can accomplish anything you want.

Most people underestimate the power of focus, determination, and action. When you’ve found a goal that sets your soul on fire and makes joy pump through your veins, it will be almost impossible for you not to take action.

For example, my passion is to help people improve their lives and inspire them to go after their dreams.

This makes fireworks go off inside of me, and I can’t imagine doing anything else. When you adopt that kind of mindset, you can accomplish anything in the world. You can have success in life.

No excuses, fears, or obstacles can stand in your way.

It might take you years to accomplish what you want, but it won’t matter, because you will be doing what you love. It is the journey that matters.

The goal is just there so you have something to aim at.

7. Determination

When you have this kind of relentless determination, you will blast through your fears like a hot knife slices through butter.

It wasn’t until I got this fire inside me that I started making progress. Something funny happens when you make the choice to live a happy life.

It’s almost as if the universe conspires to help you. Learning how to live a happy life keeps coming back to the decision to actually do it.

Most people expect a fire to start without first putting wood in the stove. Your life will never be perfect, and the stars will never align.

The circumstances you need will not occur until you take action. It is you who will have to take the first step, not someone else.

8. Following Your Passion

Most of us know what our heart yearns for, but we are afraid to go after it. It is often the thing you’re afraid of doing but desperately want to do that is your passion and purpose in life.

I remember back a few years ago before I started this blog. I was afraid that I had nothing to contribute to the world with my writing.

I was afraid of the fact that I wasn’t good enough. As the years passed, I became sick of my excuses and negative thoughts, like a kid who stands up to his bully, I decided to stand up for myself and take action anyway.

I wasn’t going to let anything stand in my way of doing what I love. If people didn’t like, then that was their problem, I was going to do it anyway.

And as I started writing, dozens of people read and responded to my writing. And right now, tens of thousands of people read my writing every single month.

The feelings you have about going after your passion are unfounded. They are there to challenge you and to see if you’re truly serious about living a happy and fulfilling life.

When you are ready to take that step into the unknown even though you are scared, your life will transform.

9. The Truth

Learning how to live a happy life is not all about doing and finding your passion, although that is a big part of the pie.

Have you ever seen millionaires and billionaires that are incredibly successful but amazingly depressed and unhappy with their life?

They have all the cars, houses, and material possessions anyone could ever want, but they are still not happy.

All the money in the world will only amplify what is already going on within you. If you’re unhappy now, money won’t make much of a difference.

When you realize that external possessions cannot give you lasting happiness, you have the opportunity to decide if you want to be happy or not.

Everything you’ve read in this article is but a piece of the whole. When you add the everything together, you get lasting inner peace, happiness, and purpose.

You are on a journey of self-discovery, like we all are. We are all where we need to be, learning what we need to learn, and going where we need to go at this point in time.

Wrap Up

In summary, you can live the life you want, if you will only decide to do so.

I know that it is scary, but I’d say that living a life full of excuses and fear is worse than going after your dreams.

So what if you fail?

The most successful and happy people in the world have failed over and over again until they discovered what they truly wanted to do in life.

If you will only make the decision today, your life will change. I guarantee it.

Photo by Stuart

Bruce Lee’s Top 20 Tips for Living a Successful Life

Henri — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 07:06:32 +0000

When I grew up, Bruce Lee was one of my biggest role models, and he still is.

He accomplished more in ten years than most people do in a lifetime. So I decided to gather Bruce Lee’s most inspirational quotes in one place.

The quotes below are what I believe it takes to live a successful life and have success in life. These quotes will inspire, motivate, and encourage you to go after your dreams.

With all that said here are Bruce Lee’s top 20 tips for living a successful life.

1. Apply What You Learn

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.”

How many people do you know that read a lot of books and spend a lot of time buying courses, but never apply the knowledge they learn?

You may even notice these tendencies in your life. It’s hard to take action and apply what you learn, because we’re all afraid of failure, and taking action can be paralyzing from time to time.

However, success in life doesn’t happens until you use the knowledge that you have inside of you. Most of us have exactly what we need to get to our goals, but we make excuses not to even get started.

2. Learn, Discard, Create

“Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.”

It’s all well and good to learn from others, but it’s not until you take action that you discover what works and doesn’t.

When you discover what doesn’t work, you simply discard it and keep going. When you keep moving forward, you will create your own path.

Living a successful life is all about experimenting and trying new things. The more things you try, the closer you will get to true success.

3. Simplicity

“Simplicity is the key to brilliance.”

If you can simplify your life, your goals, and your tasks, you will not only be happier, you will also get more done and be more successful.

It was not until I started focusing on one single task and one major goal in my life that I started seeing rapid results in the direction of my dreams.

If you’re trying to go after multiple things at once, you will end up accomplishing none of them. Pick one thing that’s the most important to you and go after that.

The funny thing about focusing on one goal is that it seems that you’re neglecting all the others aspects of your life, but when you focus on one goal, magically the other aspects of your life improve, sometimes dramatically.

4. Break Barriers

“Using no way as way, using no limitation as limitation.”

We all have negative beliefs that stop us from being as successful in life as we would like.

The only person holding you back is you. Once you become comfortable with overcoming your fears, you will start seeing dramatic success in your life.

One of the most common characteristics of successful people is that they are willing to try new things and face their fears. They are not fearless, they are merely willing to do what it takes.

5. Be Open-Minded

“Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.”

There’s no right or wrong in the universe. It’s completely subjective.

Getting caught up in the drama of who is right or wrong or who is better than will only distract you from reaching your goals and creating a successful life.

Stay open to new possibilities, and the viewpoints of others. You can never know what you will learn when you explore things you at first thought were pure nonsense.

6. Contribute

“Real living is living for others.”

It wasn’t until I found my passion and started contributing to the world with my writing that I started feeling fulfilled.

We all have our unique gifts that we can use to make the world a better place. These are usually talents and skills you have that you are very good at, and that you like to do.

It doesn’t matter if you like to make jewelry or if you enjoy cooking, because everything is connected to everything else.

You are here to make a difference with the talents you have. There’s a reason why you are you.

7. Manage Your Time

“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.”

We are surrounded by distractions, such as e-mail, Twitter, and Facebook. They are great at connecting us to each other, but they distract us from what is truly important.

Learn to manage your time, and get the most valuable tasks done before you start to play. Use time management courses to get your life in order.

You can often double, triple, or even quadruple your productivity by using just a few simple time management tips.

A good one that I use is to write down the three most important tasks for the next day before I go to bed.

8. Be Flexible

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”

Life will throw curve balls at you, so you have to get used to being flexible. The more comfortable you can be with being uncomfortable, the faster you will grow as a human being and the more success you will have in life.

This is exactly what distinguishes successful people from unsuccessful ones. Successful people are more willing to be uncomfortable, because they know that that is the fastest path to their goals.

Whenever you bump into something that makes you feel bad, stay flexible, and find the positive in the situation. I’ve found that most of the problems in my life are blessings in disguise.

The only thing separating positivity from negativity is time.

9. Set Goals

“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”

If you want to create your dream life you want you first have to know what you want. For the longest time I avoided setting goals, because I thought it was unnecessary.

It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that goal setting can not only make me more productive, it can also dramatically increase the clarity I have.

When you set goals, use the S.M.A.R.T criteria, which stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely goals.

10. Be Patient

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.”

One of my weaknesses is my impatience. However, I’ve learned to channel my impatience into getting more done and being productive.

It’s also important to realize that most of the things that are truly valuable in life take time.

For example, I discovered that creating an online business usually takes anywhere from 3 to 5 years, if your goal is a full-time income.

Whatever you do, keep taking small steps each day toward your primary goal, and you will be surprised at how much you can accomplish in just a few years.

11. Kill the Box

“All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.”

It’s easy to get into a rut, which is simply a familiar pattern that feels comfortable. If you truly want to grow as a person and lead a successful life, you have to get out of the box.

In fact, throw the box out altogether, and start following your heart wherever it leads you. This can be as simple as following your highest excitement in the moment.

Most people are stuck in their minds and never listen to their heart’s deepest desire. Don’t let this be you.

12. Control Your Thoughts

“As you think, so shall you become.”

What you think about, you draw into your life. If you’re constantly being negative, you will draw more negativity into your life.

Instead of focusing on the negative, think about what you want to get out of life and focus on the positive.

This is another way of telling you that you have to set goals and focus on those goals as often as possible. The results you will get by doing this will be dramatic.

Most people sit around whining about their miserable life, and then they wonder why nothing good ever happens to them.

13. Take Action

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

Don’t over analyze and over think. Take massive action even if things aren’t perfect before you start.

Most people that try to get things perfect never get started at all.

I used to be a perfectionist, but I realized that by taking action, I could get much more done and make much more progress.

I also realized that people don’t want perfect. They just want solutions to their problems.

14. Allow

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

It’s easy to get stuck on what other people would think of you if you became successful. Most people are so afraid of this that they never rise above mediocrity.

It is not up to you to make people happy. You can only make yourself happy, and the way others react is just the way they will react.

Don’t let other people dictate how you live your life. Determine what you want, go after it, and don’t look back. You will be much happier for it.

15. Create Your Own Destiny

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”

You can make all the excuses in the world, but nothing happens until you stop blaming your circumstances or people in your life, and take control of your life.

It is up to you to take responsibility for your life and create your own opportunities. You may not be able to do exactly what you want right now, but you have the opportunity to take steps toward it.

No one will create the dream life for you. You have to do it yourself.

16. Be You

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”

As I said earlier, you were born with unique talents, gifts, and skills. When you try to be someone you’re not, you will only attract people into your life that are not in harmony with you.

When you are you, and that includes the weird things about you, you will find that the most amazing and interesting people start popping up in your life.

Sometimes this may take years, and sometimes it can happen in just a few days. Let whatever happens be okay and go with the flow.

17. Have Integrity

“Knowledge will give you power, but character respect”

No success in life is worth it unless you have integrity.

It’s very hard to find people that are honest and have integrity as one of their highest values. It’s easy to throw in a lie here and there and try to manipulate people.

Only conscious people realize that this won’t make anyone happy in the long term. It might get you what you want in the short-term but it’s not a recipe for happiness.

Live with integrity, and people will respect you. And best of all, you will respect yourself which is a very desirable character trait.

18. Learn the Rules, Break the Rules

“Obey the principles without being bound by them.”

If you want success in life, learn what other successful people have done to get to where they are.

It’s important to learn the principles of success, but not be bound by them. Once you know what you need to do, follow your heart and your intuition.

If you want to learn how to create a profitable website for example, I recommend you sign up for a training course, and follow the instructions step-by-step.

Once you start seeing success, you can start breaking the rules and begin experimenting.

19. Do Things for You

“Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.”

Life is not about impressing other people. If you try to show off, it will backfire.

And if you try to seek the approval of others, it will just make you miserable. The only person that needs to approve of you is you.

This goes hand in hand with many of the quotes above. You can only be you, and it is not until you reclaim your unique self that you can be truly great.

20. Believe in Yourself

“You just wait. I’m going to be the biggest Chinese Star in the world.”

Last, but definitely not least are the expectations you have of yourself. Your beliefs will determine the success you have in life.

There are ways to overcome limiting beliefs and negative expectations, but nothing happens until you accept that they exist within you.

And nothing happens until you take full responsibility for the life that you have created in this very moment.

Image by Frankie

Who You Really Are

Henri — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 12:06:20 +0000

You are a magnificent being having a human experience. You came to this blue planet with a purpose.

You have something to share with the world. You have something to contribute. You know what it is, because your heart has always been pulling you in that direction, but you’ve been too afraid to take the leap.

Anyone can make a living following their passion. If you are determined, there is always a way to create a life that makes you fulfilled and happy.

The choice is always in your hands. You alone carry the responsibility for your life.

You may not know the how. You may not even know what your passion or purpose is. The only way to find out is to start taking action and following your hearts deepest desire.

You know you’re heading in the right direction when it just feels right. There is no denying that you’re doing what you should be doing.

As you face challenges, fears, and failures on your path to success, you realize that they will pass. They are blessings in disguise. They are there to catapult you into becoming better, stronger, and wiser.

It’s all too easy to feel sorry for yourself, become frustrated, or succumb to your fears. We were born with only two fears: the fear of loud noises, and the fear of falling.

All other fears are learned, and they can be unlearned. When you face your fears, they naturally diminish. Your confidence, self-discipline, and courage grow.

You feel empowered and more in control of your life. You feel joy and happiness, because that is your internal guidance system telling you that you’re on the right track.

You are here to contribute something. You have a purpose. There are people out there waiting for you to realize this.

They are waiting to hear from you. They desperately want you to get over whatever is stopping you and put yourself out there.

The life you are living now is what you have chosen all of your life. If you’re not happy with it, change it. You have the power to transform your life into anything you want.

There is no better time to start than now. The stars will never align. Circumstances will never be perfect, so you might as well start now.

Next time you’re feeling down, frustrated, and ready to throw in the towel, remember this; you are so much more than what you give yourself credit for.

You are a genius. You are a problem-solving machine, everyone is. You can do anything you put your mind on, and you can live the life of your dreams.

Image by Paul

13 Incredibly Simple Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure

Henri — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 10:43:20 +0000

Imagine if you could do anything in the world without feeling fear or any negative feelings whatsoever.

The fear of failure is instilled in us from early childhood because of overly protective parents. It’s not easy to hear the words “No!” over and over again.

After awhile you start getting cautious about what you do. You constantly look to an authority figure to see if it’s okay.

As we grow, this negative belief becomes unconscious. You don’t even know it’s there. You just live your life as best as you can.

Overcoming fear of failure is not easy by any means, but it can be done, especially if you are determined to take your personal growth to the next level.

There is no magic pill that will transform you into a fearless hero, only steps that will take you closer to freedom from the imaginary jail cell of your mind.

1. Identify the Root Cause

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

Where does your fear of failure originate?

Sit down, take a few deep breaths, ask yourself when your fear of failure was formed, and observe what you see, feel, or hear.

When you see what caused your fear of failure, you’ll also see that your mind’s interpretation is far from accurate.

If your parents were overly protective, or if you had a particularly strict teacher, you’ll see that they did it because they want the best for you.

It’s easy to see how the you of the past interpreted events as he or she did. But if you look at the event as an outsider, you will see that it had nothing to do with you.

It’s crucial to examine all of your negative beliefs, because they have a big influence on how you live your life.

2. Simplify

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” — Leonardo da Vinci

Complexity is hard to visualize, and if you try, you will feel overwhelmed. Everything will feel hopeless and not worth doing, because you just don’t know how.

When I began my online journey, I was overwhelmed to say the least. I had no idea of where to go, what to do, or how to do it.

When I simplified the tasks that I needed to do, it all became much easier. I had no problem taking action because I had broken everything down into actionable pieces.

And if I didn’t know what to do, I’d ask someone, or join a training program.

I took the task of starting a website and broke it down to coming up with a domain name, buying hosting, getting a website up and running, and getting a simple design.

It also didn’t hurt that I was determined to make it work. If you don’t have that fire burning inside of you, you should think twice about moving forward.

Find your passion, and boldly go where you have never gone before.

3. Failure is Inevitable

“It is foolish to fear what you cannot avoid.” — Publius Syrus

Let’s face it, failure is inevitable if you want to live a remarkable life. I know you want to live a life full of passion, meaning, and purpose.

We all do.

But it’s not going to happen if you succumb to your fears and try to look for a more comfortable way out, because there is none.

Sooner or later you will have to overcome the fear of failure, and you will have to overcome many other fears during your lifetime.

Sometimes it’s overwhelming, frustrating, and exhausting. I know, I’ve been there, but the more you move through tough periods, the faster you’ll grow.

If you want the life of your dreams, make failure a part of your life.

Embrace it.

4. Fail More. Succeed More.

“There is no failure. Only feedback.” — Robert Allen

The more you fail, the more you succeed.

I was lucky to learn that lesson early in my life. When I became a professional poker player, I was 18, and I already knew that the more feedback I got, the faster I would learn.

I crave constructive criticism. It is a chance for me to improve what I’m doing.

I never assume that I know it all, nor do I assume that I am above failure. Even the most successful people fail every single day.

The difference between the successful and the not-yet-successful is the realization that failure is simply a stepping stone, not a permanent event.

5. Failure is Temporary

“Failure is an event, never a person.” — William D. Brown

Failure feels permanent, but it isn’t. You and I both know that, but we don’t act like it is so.

You may imagine yourself failing and the movie in your head stops there. If you let the movie play, you will realize that that failure may be exactly what you needed.

It may be the messenger of the lesson you needed to succeed down the road. Failure isn’t easy, but it is what will make you the person you want to become.

I’ve failed more times than I can count, yet I still fear failure. The difference now versus when I was in my late teens is that I know that the fear of failure is just a thought.

It conjures up feelings in my body that feel bad. It has no bearing in reality. It is often exaggerated and out of control.

Most people never stop to observe their thoughts. And they never stop to ponder that their thoughts could be wrong.

Why give your thoughts all that authority if they make you feel bad?

6. Free Your Mind

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” — Buddha

See your thoughts for what they are … thoughts.

Thoughts can be eliminated, feelings can be alleviated, and fears can be overcome.

You can do this by taking massive action and facing your fears. You can also use methods such as The Work, EFT, and meditation.

I have personally been using EFT since I was 16. I have been meditating on and off for the same time. And I recently got acquainted with The Work.

I won’t delve into how you can use them in this article, because it would simply take up too much space, so I suggest you visit the websites of EFT and The Work, and read my article on how to meditate.

There’s more to life than being a slave to your mind, your programming, and the beliefs of society. You think what you become, so make sure you get it right on the inside before you blame the outside.

So many people try to get more money, better relationships, and seek happiness only to end up where they started.

They seek something outside of themselves, when everything they wanted was right in front of them.

7. Shift Your Perspective

“Failure teaches success.” — Japanese Saying

Who taught you that failure was a bad thing?

It feels bad, so it must be bad. Is that really true?

Every belief and thought that makes us feel bad needs to be examined. What good does a fear of failure do us?

It’s easier said than done to eliminate negative beliefs, but it all starts with being aware that a problem actually exists.

The last thing you want to do is get mad at yourself for not being perfect. We all have our unique fears and they are there for a reason.

Your fears will help you grow in the way you need to grow. You realize your negative beliefs when they need to be realized. There is no rush. This is not a competition. You’re doing perfectly.

Look at each failure as a blessing in disguise. It is not through success that we become wise, but through our failures.

I learned this lesson particularly well when I played poker for a living for half a decade. In poker, luck is a big factor, which means that you can play well, but still lose for weeks and months.

It can be extremely frustrating, but what it teaches you is discipline, and it teaches you to constantly improve your game.

It taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my life, which is to look at the negative periods as times of learning.

The same goes for life. Whenever you’re faced with something particularly difficult, learn from it and grow, because it will pass.

8. Self Growth

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down.” — Mary Pickford

We all have the same basic fears. While same get through them easily, others get stuck. Use your fears as signposts that tell you where you have room to grow.

Fear of failure is something everyone faces at one point or another. This isn’t the end of the world, but the beginning of an amazing journey.

I know you may feel like being afraid of failure is horrible. That is because you imagine it to be so in your mind. Look at the pictures and thoughts that come up when you think about the fear of failure.

What do you see? Do you see yourself failing in front of a large group of people, which then proceed to laugh and point?

They are nothing but thoughts. You can get through them if you want to. You’ve already taken the first step by reading this article.

Even if you wanted to go back to your comfortable existence, it’s already too late, because the seed has been planted by you reading this article

9. Embrace Fear

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Everyone is afraid to one degree or another. No one is different. It’s ingrown into our biological mechanism.

The sooner you befriend your fear, the faster you can keep moving forward. It is not fear that stops you from going after your dreams, but what you decide to do because of those fears.

You can reprogram the way you react to your fears, thoughts, and worries. Whenever I am working on something that is important, such as doing what I love, and a fear pops up, I know I will get through it.

The alternative is giving up, which isn’t an option.

If you are determined to go after your passion, your fears will become insignificant in comparison.

10. Take Action

“I failed my way to success.” — Thomas Edison

We have more knowledge at our fingertips now than ever before in history. The internet gives you access to endless amounts of courses, guides, and training programs.

No matter what you want to do, you can learn. It’s fantastic. But it can also be paralyzing and a breeding ground for fear.

The what if thoughts enter your mind and you start worrying about this and that. No matter what, if you take action, you will eventually end up in the right place.

When you blend action with the guidance that comes from your heart, your progress will be fast, powerful, and fulfilling.

You see, while most people sit at the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment, you will be out there learning, doing, and growing.

That is what will get you to the life of your dreams.

11. Imagine Your Future

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” — Vincent van Gogh

Sometimes negativity helps.

Imagine your future if you let every fear you had control your life.

What does it look like?

Where would you end up?

Do you think you would regret it when you’re at the end of your life?

Now imagine your life if you had overcome every fear on your path. You would be living the life of you always desired.

You would look back at your life without regrets. Sure, you may have done some foolish things, but they just added some spice to your life.

You can sit home and feel sorry for yourself all you want, but it isn’t going to make your life different. Only you have the power to change your life, so you might as well start now.

12. Stay in the Now

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha

Most of us live in either the past or in the future.

We regret what we’ve done (or not done), or we worry about what’s to come.

Using the past and present is fine when done with a purpose, like #11 up there, but letting your mind run amok will do you no good, as you probably already know.

There are no problems in the present. You are okay right now. You have a roof over your head, you have food in the fridge, and you feel fine.

You would be fine without a roof as well. What would make it not okay is your mind, and the stories it tells around your situation.

Accept the gift that is the present moment.

Breathe, smell, hear, and enjoy who you are, right now. You already have the key to your happiness.

13. Follow Your Passion

“No man is a failure who is enjoying life.” — William Feather

Last, but definitely not least is to follow your passion. We both knew this was coming .

If you decide to follow your passion, you will be much more likely to blast through your fears.

You know, like me, that doing anything other than going after your dreams is not an option. I might feel secure in a regular job, but I would never be happy or fulfilled.

Sometimes I feel like I am not living life, but life is living me. I go with my feelings and my heart. I do what excites me.

It’s an interesting way to live, and I invite you to try it.

Overcoming fear of failure is as hard as you make it. When you face your fears, you will realize that they are nowhere as bad as you thought they would be.

So what will it be?

Your fears, or the life of your dreams?

Image by Sean

5 Surprisingly Simple Steps to Overcoming Social Anxiety

Henri — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 13:01:12 +0000

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Esther van der Wal

I was in Santiago de Chile to interview students and experts for my master’s thesis, when my husband dropped the bomb: he wasn’t sure if he would still be happy with me in the long run.

I was 26 years old and heading straight towards becoming a divorced woman. On another continent, no less.

Needless to say, I was heartbroken.

On top of it all, I got robbed right before leaving Chile and lost pretty much every physical item of value: my apartment keys, cell phone, USB stick with personal documents on it – and my passport. Others had, effectively, succeeded in robbing my identity.

The interviews had lost all sense of priority, and when I traveled back to the Netherlands, our house no longer felt like a home.

After some lengthy and emotional discussions with my husband, we decided to go on a long break.

I instinctively knew there was only one place I wanted to spend that period.

So I bought an open-ended ticket to Chile.

When Social Anxiety Kicks In

When I got back to Santiago, I was an emotional train wreck. The feeling of loss was overwhelming. Most of the time I felt exhausted, empty, and cold.

Doing interviews on social and political participation didn’t go that well, either.

Going to Santiago’s major universities to talk to students became a nightmare.

Can you sense the irony?

It took me days to gather enough courage to leave the house and bring my questionnaire and old school tape recorder. Sometimes, I’d turn around and go back home when I was already halfway there.

I was no longer the spontaneous, smart and funny Dutch girl that my Chilean friends got to know before the break.

I had turned into a trembling, alienated social phobic who didn’t dare to walk up to anyone and ask them for five minutes of their time.

How Irrational Fears Can Hold You Down

I remember walking around on this beautiful campus, the sun shining on my bare white legs, watching small groups of students sit in the grass with a sandwich and a book. Some discussed social uprisings and gas prices, others studied for an exam or made out with their girlfriend.

All I felt was a deep, endlessly sad sense of not belonging.

On those days, I seriously wanted to run home, hide under the covers and not wake up until my fear had passed.

And I beat myself up over it: what could possibly be so hard about asking a fellow student a few general questions about politics and social participation?

But social anxiety, like any fear, isn’t rational. I sat down, put on my sunglasses to prevent anyone from accidentally looking me in the eye and cried in silence.

5 Clear Steps to Overcoming Social Anxiety

Recovery was a slow process. It took me several months to finish 18 interviews. On my best days, I managed to go out there and do two, ranging from five to twenty minutes.

With three steps forward and two steps back, I started seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

There are five steps that helped me overcome social anxiety. I’d love to share them with you.

1. Look After Yourself

When you’re alone and completely out of balance, the best place to start is base camp.

Get plenty of sleep at night. Get out of bed in the morning. Shower. Dress. Treat yourself to hearty, healthy food.

Maybe your mind isn’t working with you, but at least your body will remain healthy.

Try doing the things you used to enjoy, such as reading or taking a walk in the park. Going back to basics and doing normal things is tremendously important to keep you grounded.

2. Talk

Open up. Share your fears.

Now, this may seem very counter-intuitive when you’re in the middle of a choking sea of awfulness, but the only way out is to admit you’re terrified.

Try thinking of a friend or family member that you trust. Call them, go over to their place – do whatever is necessary to get to speak to them, and tell them exactly how you feel.

This is a difficult step to take, but once you try it, you’ll be surprised at how many people have experienced episodes like this.

If they care at all about you, they will listen and support you, even if they don’t completely understand your irrational fears.

3. Write

If talking about your social anxiety in person is still a bridge too far, start with writing about it (if you’re not much of a writer, substitute “writing” for “painting”, “singing” or any other activity that lets you express your feelings directly to another person).

Write about your fears on your blog, send an e-mail to a friend or family member or chat with them. Do a shout-out on Twitter. Speak from the heart and be as honest as you possibly can.

Many people will relate to your words. You will see you’re not alone, and that will give you strength.

4. Get Angry

The emotions that come with fear can vary by the hour.

One minute you might feel very sad, the next minute you may become frustrated with your fruitless efforts, time-wasting and seeing how everybody else seems to find life so easy.

Use those moments of deep frustration and anger to give yourself a good old kick in the butt. Let that inner voice roar!

It might just be the little push you need to act, and once that’s over, you’ll feel relieved. At least you’ll have done something useful that day.

5. Party!

Yep, you’re reading this correctly.

If the opportunity arises and a friend asks you over for a barbecue (Chileans do this all the time) or salsa dancing night, do it. Even though you feel like utter crap: do it anyway.

Trust the person who invites you and try to forget about the things that keep you awake at night.

A change of environment, being with other people, possibly even dancing or playing a game will do you good.

Every small step counts. Every smile you manage to get on your face is proof that you can do it.

Take the Long Way Home

To others, it might seem like a huge accomplishment: traveling to another continent, on your own, not knowing when you’ll return.

To me, it was a bare necessity.

I followed my instincts and I just knew going back to Chile was the only way. And I was right.

Over the course of the months, I slowly started feeling better about myself and my life. It wasn’t easy. But it was so worth it.

If you’re experiencing social anxiety like I was at the time, know that you’re not an idiot.

You are a very strong person for going through all these heavy emotions and you will succeed.

I promise you: in the end you will be able to live the life you want – without fear holding you back.

Esther van der Wal is a writer, editor and translator from the Netherlands. She is currently constructing ways to turn her heart’s desires into action. Follow her on Twitter to keep posted.

The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Effortlessly Overcoming Unworthiness

Henri — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 14:22:22 +0000

A lot of entrepreneurs struggle with unworthiness, but very few are willing to talk about it openly.

It’s not the easiest subject to tackle, because it’s not exactly something you want to put on display.

Like with any feelings, the more power you give to your sense of unworthiness, the more havoc it can cause.

Unwanted feelings pass, but when you’re in the middle of feeling unworthy, it certainly doesn’t feel that way.

The feelings we experience arise from the stories we tell ourselves (ex. I’m not good enough). It always helps to remember that you are not your feelings, nor your thoughts, but the observer of them.

Imagine yourself watching a movie. You can get immersed in the movie and feel like you’re there, but ultimately you are the one watching the movie.

The same is true for life.

What is Unworthiness?

Unworthiness is the feeling that you are not appropriate or suitable for what you’re doing or getting.

This happens a lot for online entrepreneurs. A good example is if you’re creating your first product. You will probably run into feelings of not feeling good enough, and not knowing what you’re doing.

It happens to the best of us, and it’s normal to feel that way.

It’s not until you take action that you see that those feelings and thoughts of unworthiness aren’t entirely true. I’ll talk more about that in just a second.

What Does Unworthiness Look Like?

If you want to get to the bottom of how unworthiness manifests in your life, start observing your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself.

In what circumstances does it pop up for you, and what thoughts does it bring up?

Unworthiness comes in many different disguises. Here are a few examples of inner dialogue you may be familiar with:

I’m not good enough for this
Why would anyone buy my products?
No one will like my writing, so why should I try?
I am making a living already, but I feel like a sham

You may have your own versions of the above, but it’s all the same stuff. Thoughts and stories are swirling in your head that are making you feel bad.

What Causes Unworthiness?

Where do all these feelings come from? Why do you feel bad about putting out products, writing articles, or doing what you feel like you should be doing?

The biggest part of it comes from what you’ve taken in from society, friends, parents, and other sources.

Maybe you had a father who told you “You can’t write, so don’t even try. You will never be a writer.”

And now you’re attempting to earn money creating helpful products on your blog, so it’s only natural that your “inability” to write should pop up.

The thoughts, feelings, and stories we have can feel so real that it’s easy to believe that getting rid of them is impossible.

The good news is that you can eliminate feelings of unworthiness. But it only happens when you are truly ready.

3 Simple Steps to Overcoming Unworthiness

If unworthiness is caused by your thoughts and your stories, the way out is to examine what exactly is behind your pain and suffering.

A good example from my own life was when I was creating Passionate Living. Sure, I felt unworthy of giving advice on how to live a life full of passion.

But when I started looking deeper, I discovered that I was trying to think what people would like, instead of sharing my own experience, which is all I can do. I couldn’t possibly know what other people thought.

I knew what troubled my readers. I had their frustrations and problems in front of me, and my writing didn’t start to flow until I allowed myself to share what I had to share.

1. Proof

As I kept writing and working on Passionate Living, I had my doubts, but I kept on writing and doing my best.

When I released it to my audience, it sold well, because I was answering the questions my readers had and solving the problems they were experiencing.

It has to date sold almost 200 copies and it keeps selling without me doing any pushy promotion for it.

I keep getting emails from people thanking me for the content in it. I am astonished at this, because it shows me how wrong I was.

I thought I had nothing to contribute, and it kept me from almost starting Wake Up Cloud altogether, but could I ever be absolutely sure that I had nothing to give to the world?

The honest answer is no, and when you look at your thoughts on unworthiness, I think you will discover the same thing. They feel certain, but they aren’t.

2. Presence

You may, at times, be paralyzed by your feelings of unworthiness, which prevents you from taking action and getting real-life feedback.

In those cases, you have to cut through the lies of your mind before you can move forward. And I recommend you do this even if you aren’t paralyzed, because improved clarity never hurts.

The solution then is to be present with your unworthiness. This means getting curious about how your unworthiness feels, where in your body it is, when it happens, and what stories you tell yourself about it.

When your mind starts diving into more stories, gently bring back your attention to what is going on inside your body.

Become the watcher of your inner space, and do this each time feelings of unworthiness come up. Accept whatever happens, breathe, and be with it.

3. Inquiry

Inquiry is a concept I’ve learned from The Work by Byron Katie.

It’s the act of investigating your thoughts. Are they really true?

When you inquire, you realize that almost none of your thoughts are true. The stories we tell ourselves are only in our imagination.

And what you then realize is that reality is much kinder than the fantasy we mentally live in.

Let’s say you believe: “I have nothing to offer to the world.”

With The Work you ask yourself the following four questions:

Is that true?
Can you be absolutely certain it’s true?
How do you react when you think that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?

That is the beginning, and as you can see, there’s no way you can be sure that you have nothing to offer.

Wrap Up

When I look back at all the negative feelings and moments I’ve experienced, I realize that they all had something to teach me.

They were there for a reason.

Those reasons can be hard to see in the moment, and can be easy to overlook as you get on with your life, but they are still there.

Your feelings of unworthiness may be a nudge for you to dive deeper into your personal growth.

Only you can discover the true meaning of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

Wake Up Cloud » Life

When You Feel Like Giving Up

Why Does This Happen?

Your Thoughts, or Just Thoughts?

The Solution to the Despair

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What to Do When You’re Scared Out of Your Mind

Why You’re Scared (And Why It’s Good)

3 Quick Tips for Dealing with the Fear

1. Write

2. Release

3. Work

Step Into Your Future

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Do You Know the Simple Truth?

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3. Accept Where You Are

4. Be Patient

5. Forgive

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7. Face Your Fears

8. Kill Your Excuses

9. Take Responsibility

10. Follow Your Heart

11. Follow Your Passion

12. Meditate

13. Express Yourself

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